[Lemon Juice]

Just joined! Over in MLT

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Hello,
I just joined tonight and wanted to say a quick hello! I live in Mountlake Terrace and moved to WA state over a year ago (I'm from south Texas) and my "old man" is from Boston. Really like north of Seattle but took some getting used to...lived downtown when I first came here before I got pregnant with my first. Didn't think I'd find any people with views like/similar to mine! It's been hard finding friends in this area. My oldest attends MLT co-op preschool across the street from our house...and my toddler and baby attend classes with me at Edmonds CC. Just wondering if there is anyone out there like me and mine! When I first moved here I longed to be back in Seattle for that reason but find the co-op and college classes to be great (which helped me adjust to life outside the city). Hope to talk to ya'll soon! Would love to meet up for playdates or whatever! Schedule has opened up since preschool ended last week.

That was my first and original post to this site. To my surprise only one, count them, one person responded telling me hello. A few of you read and then just kept moving on. I am not going to sugar coat this. This upset me. This site seemed so "friendly" but apparently you are very picky with whom you give your responses too. I figure maybe something in my post was wrong...I start thinking..could it be that I am from Texas? Hmmm...maybe ya'll think I'm a Bush lover who helped fund and start the war?? Get that a lot from people out here. Well no, I am not. I am Green Party and always have been. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not in anyone's city. Do you not like Mountlake Terrace? Didn't know it existed..picked the house off the internet thousands of miles away in New Hampshire. I'm still dishing out ideas here...Maybe since I'm not married to my man and joke around calling him my "old man" gets under your skin...get negative feedback from my own Texas family on that one. (and he is old..he'll be 30 next month!) That is another joke. Is it because I don't cd? Is it because I vacc. my kids? Maybe you don't like vegetarians? I don't get it. Yes I breastfeed, use slings, use strollers, co-sleep, use disp. diapers, and vacc., but didn't circ. Do we have to fit a certain criteria to fit in this mothering forum? Too many strikes against what ya'll believe in and your out type thing? Because this new member surely feels outcasted and downright left out. Just letting off steam.....

almost forgot..had all of my babies in a hospital..

gasp! in three different states.

I'm not trying to be rude here even though most of you may interpret that. I am just trying to figure out why I'm being ignored when I see others post that they have just joined and already have tons of feedback from ya'll. I really had high hopes living out here and knew this was a fantastic place to raise my children but i'm really starting to doubt the community out here and lose faith in the NW.

 

[AllisonK]

Just wanted to say hi. I am pretty new to these forums as well. I don't live any where near you though. I am in Spokane, WA. I have also had both of my children in a hosp and vaccinate also. Although we are ttc and will be planning a HBAC. I say give it time. I don't think anyone meant to be rude. Maybe no one living near you read the post. ??.

 

[corysmilk]

hi
come join us at this thread
invisable posters
it's long but the ladysa re very nice I just joined this thread and I feel very welcome there.
I vax and breastfeed, use a sling and a stroller. I use cloth diapers. I used dd for a long time. I feel I don't fit in around here alot too. Don't worry, it gets better

psno cir here either

 

[kamesennin]

Hey! Don't let lurkers/readers get you down! Lots of people are busy so they don't have time to post a reply when searching for an answer to a question they have asked. This is a great place to be if you make it work for you. I live in Mukilteo so I'm pretty close to you--a bunch of us hang out at least once a week around Everett/Lynnwood. In fact, we might be doing something this Thursday if you want to join. Check out this thread for details:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=256195

Catch you later,
Liane

 

[shishkeberry]

to Mothering!
I'm sorry you didn't get such a rousing welcome in your other thread. I live in Pennsylvania, so I never look into the Washington/Oregon/Idaho forum ( I never look in the Introduce Yourself forum either, not quite sure why

), but I saw this thread from the main page.

You are welcome here!

(BTW, my DS was born in a hospital--induced with an epidural no less!

, and we don't cloth diaper much either. But it's not for lack of trying, I can tell you that. It's really hard to cloth diaper when you don't have a washer and dryer and you have a DP who isn't very enthusiastic about it.) But anyway, that doesn't really matter. I just wanted to welcome you. Please don't feel bad

:

 

[elyice]

this is a message board. relax.

 

[Lemon Juice]

I]this is a message board. relax.[/I]

this is more than a "message board" to me elyice. it is an opprotunity to reach out to other mothers in my area (seattle metro...you'r in LA...) and make new friends. I am thousands of miles away from friends/family and really miss and long for a great friendship again. this thread was meant to...just to get my feelings across. telling someone "relax" is so intolerant of ones feelings...we don't know one another and I wouldn't attempt to say such a meaningless comment to you.

as for the other post...thanks for stepping up and replying! it really makes a difference. Feeling better about it already..thanks all of you

 

[bleurae]

Leslie,
First off welcome. I never do that, say welcome, maybe because I feel like I am a visitor as well and it doesn't occur to me. Maybe because I am usually on here searching for some specific topic or answer I want right that second. I tend to only post when I either think I have pertinent information, or when I get passionate about something I have read (positive or negative). It is also a HUGE HUGE board/site and most people don't notice most posts, especially if they have a benign headline or they aren't the most recent in a sub-category and visible on the index page, which is how I saw THIS post to begin with (catchy title AND showed on the index page when I clicked).
I guess what I am simply hoping to let you know is that it is in NO NO NO NO NO way personal at all and it isn't some clique thing. It is simply a huge board with tons of mama's searching fratically for some bit of info they need to be a better parent or person or what-not. You ARE welcome, everyone is, and I hope you stick around.

Bleu

 

[leosmama20]

Well, it is a message board. LOL I mean, wow, that is jumping to a big ol set of huge conclusions there about people and what they think. I just happened to catch this thread in the new posts (and since I am from the PNW wanted to say hello). That is a very slow little spot on MDC.

 

[Bella'smamma]

Sorry you are feeling ignored. When I started at MDC I felt the same way. I got mad and didn't want to post anymore. But I realized alot of the time what I was posting was for me. It made me feel better to give my opinion and alot of the time writing a response helped me deal with the feelings I had about that subject.

I think I can speak for all of us when we say by no means are we judging you. We respect eachother and enjoy the diversity the boards bring. You fit right in.

We live pretty far apart but we can still live in our virtual community! Hope you stick around!

Cecily

 

[G&B'sMama]

I am sorry that you felt unwelcome.

The tone of this post, however, seems uncalled for. I understand that you felt ignored, but then you go on to make a bunch of assumptions about everyone else who participates in the W/O/I discussions. I didn't even see your original post. Truthfully, if I had I probably wouldn't have responded to it because when I went back and read it it seemed to me that you were looking for people to meet up with in your area and I don't live in your area. If you are here to make friends you will probably have an easier time just jumping right into the discussions that interest you.

I know I am probably opening a big can of worms here… but I am a native Washingtonian and have lived in a couple different parts of the country. The west coast, and Seattle in particular, is very different than other places I know. It is difficult to make friends here- I found this out when I moved back home after living in CA for four years. All my high school and college friends had moved on. At best you will get politeness from most people, but often times people just ignore you. I am not saying this is right or wrong, but it is what happens here. Not everyone is like this, of course, but in general there seems to be an attitude that may seem indifferent if you are from someplace that tends to be more warm and welcoming. In the Midwest I met someone waiting in line at the library and they invited me over to their house for a party later in the week. It was a genuine invitation. Here, I had to say hello and try to start a conversation about a million times with the mom who walked with her baby in a sling past my house everyday before I even could find out her name. So don't get disheartened and just keep trying.

 

[calicokatt]

If you don't mind a ferry-ride, we could use a new friend over here on Whidbey Island! My house is even close enough to the ferry to walk to, so no lines or outrageous prices.

Kathy

 

[charmedbeing]

: Greetings from a Georgia Gal! Please don't feel ignored.
ENJOY MDC

 

[mom2jasper]

99% of the time I am here I am nursing and can't type well. I bet a lot of mamas here are doing the same. My baby is asleep on me right now and if I type too much he'll wake up--so I don't post as much as I read--don't take it personally! I live nowhere near you but saw this message from the front page. Welcome!

 

[TurboClaudia]

when i saw your post last night just after you posted, it made my hairs stand on end. the tone i took away from your post was that you were pissy about people ignoring you and so you wanted to call some attention to yourself. whether or not that was the case, that was the initial response i had and that is why i didn't post last night.

that said, i can somewhat understand your thoughts and feelings about feeling you're posting and no one is responding. it's happened to me, too, and i have to remind myself it is a HUGE message board and people come here for different reasons and may or may not have time to respond. also, a lot of people have such limited time on here that they use the subscribe to thread feature almost exclusively, so if you post a new thread in slow forum like wash/ore/idaho, it may not get seen by a lot of people unless you introduce it on a roll call or chat thread also.

also wanted to say hi. we live in oregon, so not near enough to be an in-person friend, but still a northwesterner.

hope you enjoy continuing to read/learn/lurk/post...

warmly,
claudia

 

[wednesday]

Is this thread a joke?

 

[BusyMommy]

Hmmm...well, I wouldn't read too much into it. I think you jumped to an awful lot of conclusions b/c you didn't get a lot of responses. Almost like you're calling MDC folks to task for being busy, overworked and tired

Next time, just let it go or bump your post. Just jump into other areas of interest for you.
Good luck

 

[Houdini]

I think a lot of the tribe forums are kinda slow. If you wanted a bigger response, maybe try the introducing yourself area. Personally I don't usually visit individual forums. I always choose new posts. That is how I saw this. Try looking into other areas before assuming you don't meet some criteria that I haven't noticed on here. I figure I am one of the biggest oddballs on the board. I vax, circ, and use disposable diapers (on all but one of my crew); however, we co sleep with whoever wants to be in our bed at any given time and I am applying some of the GD I have learned on this site. Good luck and

:

BTW: My niece is named Keanu. I hadn't really seen any others named this aside from the obvious.

 

[zeldabee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by G&B'sMama I know I am probably opening a big can of worms here… but I am a native Washingtonian and have lived in a couple different parts of the country. The west coast, and Seattle in particular, is very different than other places I know. It is difficult to make friends here- I found this out when I moved back home after living in CA for four years. All my high school and college friends had moved on. At best you will get politeness from most people, but often times people just ignore you. I am not saying this is right or wrong, but it is what happens here. Not everyone is like this, of course, but in general there seems to be an attitude that may seem indifferent if you are from someplace that tends to be more warm and welcoming.

I'm in PDX, and I have definitely found this to be true! I moved back here after living in NYC for most of my adult life. I find in general that people here tend to be more polite than NYers, but less friendly. In NY I had been pretty hooked in with other parents in my neighborhood...other parents in my apartment building went out of their way to welcome me, gave me their kid's outgrown clothes (and I did the same), we exchanged phone numbers. The same thing would happen at the tot lot. The kids would play together and the parents would chat, even if we had been complete strangers.

When I first got here, I took Sprogly to a playground. I found that other parents with toddlers would hustle their kids away when we approached a play structure. I'd try to start a conversation, and we'd get as far as our kids' ages, and then they'd gather up the kid and leave. I was surprised and hurt...it was so different.

As a generalization, I think there's something to it. But of course it is a generalization, so it's not true of everyone out here. It's just a different culture, I suppose, I've got to figure out how it works, and get used to it.

To the OP, I've often found that often I don't get the warm response I was hoping for here at MDC. I don't fit in perfectly here--I vaxed my son and don't regret it, had him in a hospital, induced, with an epidural (it wasn't at all what I wanted, but I was scared of a homebirth, and my birthing center closed a week before I had him). I'm a single mom, unemployed now, but basically full-time WOHM and sole breadwinner.

But then, I guess I fit in better here than on mainstream boards...and I do get a lot of good ideas here, and a lot of reinforcement for my parenting choices, which I don't get anywhere else, at least right now. So, I take what I like and leave the rest. I'd really like to find a real community, but who knows, maybe it's one of those things you're more likely to find when you're not looking for it.

 

[gossamer]

Moved to Pleased to meet you.
Gossamer