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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I caught the above article in USA Today yesterday about, as he calls himself, "Full Time Father" Michael Paranzino. I expected to be inspired, and wound up being totally cranked off.

Apparently, he's a former staffer for Liddy Dole and ex-lobbyist who has chosen to stay home with his kids, 4 and 3 months. Well and good. But:

Per the article, he claims their family "has simple tastes" and "spends cautiously." But it goes on to say that neither Paranzino nor his wife ..."cooks beyond pasta or sandwiches, so they often go to family-friendly restaurants." Also, per his wife, '"He's not like most full-time moms, who do all the house stuff...I keep telling him if you're going to be home all day, there's other stuff that comes with it." Paranzino says, however, '"I signed on to do the kids--not to do the house."' So they have a maid service and the breadwinner wife--who worries because she doesn't have tenure yet at NIH--gets to do all the laundry, though he prefers to "send it out."

I know, I know, I know that most of you guys at home aren't like that. What makes me furious is that USA Today couldn't have picked someone more typical.

Apologies--just had to rant a little.
 

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Arrggghh. I hear you. My SAHD husband does tons of housework (not that I don't to any!) Well, at least they mentioned a SAHD, I guess. It's still kind of a "freak show" topic, I think.
 

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I can't get too hard on him... I'm a SAHM and I have a once-a-week housecleaner. My "breadwinner husband" does next to zero housework (like does a load of laundry and picks up the living room or does the dishes once or twice a week) and I can't do it all without feeling I'm neglecting our child. Like the Dad in the article says, I'm here to raise our child. Just because I'm "home all day" (yeah, right!) doesn't mean I can be cleaning and cooking all day. We do our share of takeout, too. And I feel I work hard. I'm certainly not sitting on the couch eating bon bons all day, thank you very much.
Does he take good care of the kids, is the question?

Jen
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by jenP
I can't get too hard on him... I'm a SAHM and I have a once-a-week housecleaner. My "breadwinner husband" does next to zero housework (like does a load of laundry and picks up the living room or does the dishes once or twice a week) and I can't do it all without feeling I'm neglecting our child. Like the Dad in the article says, I'm here to raise our child. Just because I'm "home all day" (yeah, right!) doesn't mean I can be cleaning and cooking all day. We do our share of takeout, too. And I feel I work hard. I'm certainly not sitting on the couch eating bon bons all day, thank you very much.
Does he take good care of the kids, is the question?

Jen
That's all fine - but to tag it with a claim that the family has "simple tastes" and "spends cautiously" is kind of insulting to the many people who can't do what this family does...or what your family does, for that matter. My ex was useless, and not even part of the eqation...but I was the "breadwinner", and the parent (we had to have childcare while I was at work) and the housekeeper/cook. We could barely keep food on the table and a roof over our heads - we didn't own a car. Hearing people talk about "spending cautiously" while citing restaurant meals and maid service is kind of difficult. And, I don't think this guy is typical of SAHDs, which makes the article kind of pointless, imo.
 

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I agree - this is a poor example of a SAHD. As a part time SAHD, I already get odd looks/silly questions about where Mommy is when going to the grocery store during the day, always get questioned about who does the cooking, cleaning, etc. An article like this does not help as the picture this guy presents reminds of the sterotypical bon-bon eating sahm ala Peggy Bundy.

Sorry, but maid service and sending the laundry out is not typical for anyone I know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
for all the responses.

And JenP, don't get me wrong--it's not getting the help that bothers me so much--I kind of had to truncate that post a bit because my dad came unexpectedly for lunch.

And as for housework, I agree, you do what you can but put what your child needs first--which *is* work. I'm no advocate of ignoring the kidlet while scrubbing the tile floors with a toothbrush. And bonbons don't even come into it.

It's just that I get the impression that this man is at home, all right, but strictly on his own terms--he has set up his role which he will not go beyond *in spite of* his wife's concerns and what the family needs. I don't think most parents at home do that.
 

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"Spending cautiously" is a contradiction to paying others to cook, clean and do laundry, as he does. Something is off there.

Whether or not he can get housework done depends on the temperaments and ages of the kids.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by eggshell
It's just that I get the impression that this man is at home, all right, but strictly on his own terms--he has set up his role which he will not go beyond *in spite of* his wife's concerns and what the family needs. I don't think most parents at home do that.
You put your finger on it.
 
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