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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm so mad! I really can't take people's stupidity anymore!!!


forget the fact that people think i have literally lost my mind because I want to have a 4th child, a VBA3C is completely out of the question...but "you're not supposed to have more than 3 cesareans!!"

UUUGGHGH!!! i'm just so mad I feel like crying?!?!?!! where are these "rules" written?? I swear I feel like moving to a deserted island and having a VBA3C there!!! I'm so tired of fighting this, of going against the current all the time! I'm just fed up, emotionally...

when is this nonsense going to stop?! when are we all going to stand up for ourselves for other women, and DEMAND we get our voices heard?!
 

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I can understand your frustration, mama! I too want to know where the rules are. I understand the moving to an island too and had to chuckle when I read that. I've been there many times while trying to do a home vbac with #2. I even told my dh that'd I'd have the baby in a tree if I had to!

We are eagerly anticipating a HBA2C with the little one we're expecting in March.

What were the reasons for your three cesareans? Is a homebirth with midwife an option for you?

Hang in there mama! I feel your frustration!
 

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Natabimic


You have been through so much--even BEFORE you found out you were pregnant this time. I've been following your posts (not in a weird way) over the past couple of months and I'm frustrated for you. It is a very hostile environment out there. You don't have a lot of options available to you and I really hope that something breaks for you soon.

As you know, I'm in a similar situation, so I can really relate to what you are going through, but I know that doesn't help solve the problem.

Keep knocking on those doors and demand that someone pay attention to what you are saying!

Adding to your frustration are "well-meaning" friends and relatives who always have to add their two cents (at least I'm guessing that's happening because it happens to me all the time). I've stopped talking to anyone who I don't think is supportive of my decision to VBAC. I just don't need the negativity--it really affects me. I'm trying to surround myself only with people who understand what I need and are positive.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix it all, but I can't. I'm here if you want to pm.
 

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You just need to stay away from those stupid people
Seriously, though, how you give birth is none of their damn business!

Like the pp said, the negativity will affect you- try to stay positive. Read uplifting stories and surround yourself with people who will support you- (and actually be educated on the issue
)
Best wishes..
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
thank you all for taking the time it means a lot to be able to read such nice stuff from nice people lol..

stayathomechristie, don't be silly of course i wouldn't think you were following my posts in a "weird way"
I really appreciate you taking the time to do that though


I had my 3 c/s because the first one I was 24+ hours in labor and fully dialated but something about her face position was letting her descend past a -2 station...so they only let me push twice and figured that she wasn't coming down so off to the O/R I went I was only 20 very naive and really thought I could trust the medical system...

the second time it was so hard to find a VBAC supportive doctor and i got so many scare tactics (they told me I had a 5+% chance of my uterus rupturing etc..) again, I was young stupid, and still thought I could trust the system...

I get pregnant with my 3rd and this time I'm determined to have a VBA2C and it took me all of my first 32 weeks of pregnancy to find a supportive person, and i found this awesome midwife, and everything was going well and then the day before I give birth I started feeling this sharp sharp pains that were taking my breath away on my left side, and I got pressured by my family was so SO unsupportive of my idea to VBAC...and I started freaking out because of the pain so I ended up to the hospital, and of course ended up with yet another cesarean...(I was 0 station which was something so special to me as silly as it may sound because my first never got past a -2, so that reassured me in a sense that my pelvis wasn't defective) so there, but it turns out my pain was due to this "huge" amount of dense adhesions...so I "had" to get a classical cesarean section because the a$$hole didn't have the patience to work through my adhesions and give me a low transverse incision...

so that is my story, I have a history of 2 low transverse sections and 1 classical cesarean sectionl....and my hopes of achieving a VBAC decrease by the moment because I can't find not even 1 doctor/midwife that would see me at home with my history, my dh is so sweet he's like it doesn't matter we can do it alone i can learn on what to do if something goes wrong...etc..I just really wish I would have someone at home, I would feel more reassured since my husband freaks out when i'm in pain...
 

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oh mama! Don't listen to anyone else. I am in a similar situation. Pregnant with my 4th and would love to have a vba3c. actually I'd really like a homebirth. I can only imagine what other's will say first of all when I find out I'm pregnant again, and 2nd that I want a vag birth, and 3rd that I want to stay home


I hope you can find someone to assist you when the time comes. This is what I'm hoping as well. Just stay away from the negative people. I know how influencing they can be, especially towards the end of pregnancy when all you want is a healthy baby.
 

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Who told you that you're not supposed to have more than 3 c-sections? I've known women who've had 5, 6, even 9 with no problems. It all depends on your body and how well you heal.
 

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Doctors are so anxious to cut and recut us just to get it over with. I had a c-sec with dd and was 18. Like you I had faith in my doc. But over time I have relized that it could have been done. I am preg with # 2 and have found a midwife that will do a VBAC. But because I told people I wanted to do this at home I got a lot of neg feed back and have broke down to go to a birthing center. I have done some research and what I have read there is a .1 percent of rupture. Most women that due have uterine rupture have never had a c-sec. It is so funny cause women in "3rd" world countries can drop thier kids wear they stand and contiue on. There is just so much pressure on us to do it the docs way or we are SOL. I have seen where women have the baby's then go and get checked out. LOL There's an idea for you. HAve the babe at home then go to the doc. LOL Just pretend that it happened to fast for you to get to the hospital.. Sorry just a silly idea.
 

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a midwife I know personally has worked with ladies who have had 5 c/s, and have had successful hb. Educate yourself as much as you can, keep looking for a mw, but prepare to UC, if you feel you can. Ethel Kennedy had 11 c/s. Yep. 11 of them. And would have had more, I bet except her husband got killed. Don't give up, and a homebirth, however you can get one is your best bet for a VBAC. Most hospitals will tell you what you want to hear, then do what they want to do, and that is even with women who want natural births, not just VBACs There is more money to be made in surgery and drugs, than without, and hospitals are run as businesses now. It takes a lot of C/S to pay for one brain surgery!
:
 

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Your DH sounds wonderfully supportive
You picked a good one!
 
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