[That Is Nice]

I have an ongoing issue with DH when it comes to food and diet, and I'm looking for ideas and advice.

I am primarily vegetarian (have been for years). I enjoy eating healthfully for many reasons (for me, it's my personal health and well being, but also I like to support certain types of business and farmers).

So, what I cook tends to be fresh, unprocessed, not artificial, simple, a lot of times raw, whole grain, low on the food chair, and vegetarian.

Here's the problem. DH hates this. He likes commercial "comfort food" - he lives on diet soda, instant foods, hydrogenated foods, fast food, anything with lots of oil and lots of fat. His idea of fresh is to add a few garnishments to his burger.

We don't eat together as a family. DH usually stops for fast food on the way home from work or stuffs himself with unhealthy snacks that he buys before he leaves work.

Even when we go to restaurants, it's hard to find a place that offers what we both like. So, I always feel like I'm compromising to keep the peace.

Obviously, this isn't very harmonious nor is it good for our budget since we're basically eating separate meals, never together.

And it's a bad example, I think, for our baby. I have tried very hard to introduce healthy habits (mostly healthful food and limited treats) to our child. I don't deny any foods, but I think healthful foods should be the primary base of the diet. DH on the other hand will buy junk food, fast food, and treats (cookies mostly) and of course to a child that's great right? A child is drawn to sugar...

What can I do????

 

[vegmom]

You are your babies mother. It is the mothers job to nourish and nurture the child.
My dh likes his junk food but it does not come in the house. The kitchen is kind of my territory. He will eat what I make though. And he makes his own breakfasts with what is in the fridge.
This is a hard situation to be in - sorry I can't offer more helpful advice.

 

[Minerva]

Children aren't naturally drawn to sugar. Mine has a bit of cookies or something I've made, and says she's had enough. She doesn't sit there scarfing down sugar, and doesn't like anything that's really sweet. She would rather have some ham slices than anything sugary.

 

[That Is Nice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minerva Children aren't naturally drawn to sugar. Mine has a bit of cookies or something I've made, and says she's had enough. She doesn't sit there scarfing down sugar, and doesn't like anything that's really sweet. She would rather have some ham slices than anything sugary.

That's true, to some extent. There are times when my little one prefers something more nourishing and craves real food, not snacks. This is true.

However, there's such a division of what is offered most times because DH has vastly different food ideas.

So, if DH is snacking througout the day on lots of junk food or fast food, and gives bites here and there to my little one, well, then my child is not hungry for a meal or good food. They've both filled up on junk.

Also, my child is developing food preferences and having been introduced to high fat, high salt, high seasoned junk food and fast food, likes the taste.

My DH sees this and says that this is proof positive that my healthier food sucks and our child really wants what DH eats.

 

[sweetsadie77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegmom You are your babies mother. It is the mothers job to nourish and nurture the child.

??And it is the father's job to....??

 

[vegmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetsadie77 ??And it is the father's job to....??

The mom is the one that nourishes the baby in the womb. It is the mom who produces the milk to feed the baby. There are many mom's cooking in the kitchen.

Many dads do dinner duty but I have not met them.

 

[cristeen]

Honestly, it sounds like there is more going on here than just feeding your LO junk food. This sounds a lot like a power struggle, and that is the issue that really needs to be addressed.

What works for us is my DH eats what I prepare. I know what he likes and doesn't like, and I don't cook foods I know he dislikes. I also ask him almost every night what he wants for dinner, so he gets a say in it (i.e. "I have steak, chicken and pork chops in the fridge, what would you like tonight?"). If he doesn't like what I've made, he is free to go in the kitchen and get himself something else. Since I do all the shopping, there is only "mom-approved" food in the house, so whatever he settles on is fine with me.

He is free to eat whatever he likes outside the house so long as he sticks to his budget. He gets $100/month "allowance" money that he can do whatever he wants with, without consulting with me (I get the same). If he wants to spend his "allowance" on junk food, that's fine with me, but he is not allowed to bring it in the house.

We also have rules about what foods are allowed and what are not when it comes to children. HFCS and hydrogenated oils are on the "NEVER" list. Sugar and sweets are on the "rarely" list. We have a "safe" list of restaurants, including a couple burger and fries joint, but places like McD's and BK are completely out of the question.

But, these are the rules we agreed upon when we first got together/got married. To set these rules in place after the fact would really require a good long conversation (not a fight, argument or debate), and may require the services of an impartial mediator to get to the bottom of the issue.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[That Is Nice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cristeen But, these are the rules we agreed upon when we first got together/got married. To set these rules in place after the fact would really require a good long conversation (not a fight, argument or debate), and may require the services of an impartial mediator to get to the bottom of the issue. I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks.

We actually agreed to similar rules before we married and DH expressed interest in having a more healthy diet at that time, but it's gone out the window since.

 

[paquerette]

I would just put my foot down about him offering these things to your child. He can poison himself however he wants, but he doesn't get to do that to an innocent child. It's a lot like smoking; an adult can make the decision to do that to himself, but he doesn't get to sit around the house offering cigarettes to your toddler.

 

[Pookietooth]

I would say that his body is craving fat for a reason, but he's feeding it the wrong kinds of fats and making it worse. Is he at all willing to read up on this stuff? Does he have any health problems? You might try raw milk cheese for him, and maybe some other high fat foods like avocado, coconut etc. Also, can you buy some ready made hamburger patties and cook them for him? If he is a protein type, he needs more fat and protein than most people, and that would at least explain why he wants burgers (although most fast food is also high in carbs, in the form of fries and sugary drinks and stuff).
And yeah, I would definitely nix his feeding your baby the stuff he eats. Or eating it in front of you both.