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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>As I'm sure everyone is sick of me saying, DS was born at 28 weeks due to pre-e.  He was still breech, his heart tones let us know that he wasn't doing well, my BP was just barely down to 140/95 with every single medication they could put me on ... an absolutely necessary emergency c-section, which I have not one iota of regret about.  I wish it'd been different, but that was the way he had to be born, and I'm at peace with it.</p>
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<p>Fast forward to now.  Knock on wood, but everything with this pregnancy has been terrific.  My BP is actually low for me, no protein in my urine, baby is growing beautifully, and I'm 33 weeks in a couple of days.  So, the VBAC that I've been talking about having is now becoming much more of a reality.  Here's the reality of the situation: with my care providers now, I'm not allowed to VBAC.  Same with the only care provider in my small PA town.  My doula and BFF lives in a larger town with a hospital that does "allow" VBAC, but with much more intervention than I'm comfortable with, and I have yet to hear a successful VBAC story come out of there.</p>
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<p>The nearest big city to us is Pittsburgh, and we have some wonderful friends there who will let us live with them.  DH gets a generous paternity leave package from his work, and so it looks like the only option would be uprooting everyone for a month to stay with friends in an uncomfortable bed in order to potentially have a VBAC, although the only midwives I've found require VBAC to be at the hospital instead of their birth center, and so I'm doubtful about having a good experience, anyway.</p>
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<p>I'm just so disillusioned.  And angry.  And sad.  More often than not, I feel like just scheduling my [email protected] c-section and insisting that it's done my way - immediate skin-to-skin on DH if not me, no medications that will make me drowsy, and with my placenta coming home with me.  I just don't see why I have to submit to unnecessary surgery that I DON'T WANT, or uproot my entire life and still very possibly have surgery that I don't want.  The whole thing has made me cry multiple times, and it's getting worse as we get closer to D-Day.</p>
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<p>So, I guess this is a mixed vent and a "what would you do" and a plug for support and all of that. Thanks for any help, Mamas.</p>
 

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<p>It's really hard for them to give you a section if you go in pushing ;).. If that seems to extreme, know anyone with an RV that would like to hang out with you in the parking lot ;)</p>
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<p>What *I* would do:</p>
<p>1.  Contact ICAN and find a VBAC friendly OB, or a HBAC friendly midwife</p>
<p>if that wasnt an option</p>
<p>2.  Rent/ Buy a doppler and a blood pressure cuff and monitor my baby's heartrate and my bp.. and teach my husband how to check my dilation and go in when I was very dilated and try to not step foot into the hospital till I felt pushy.</p>
<p>if I didnt feel comfortable with that</p>
<p>3.  Id want to go into labor before having a section to give my baby the best possible outcomes.</p>
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<p>Im 20 weeks and hoping for an HBAC.  Im lucky to live in a place with lots of options... but I do understand how frustrating it is to have to wade through all of this crap just to get to be "allowed" a TOL.  Im so sorry you have to go through this.</p>
 

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<p>DDCC...are you planning to have more children? Each c/s raises the risk of rupture in subsequent pregnancies plus all the other risks that come with added scar tissue...</p>
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<p>That said...when I was planning my first HBAC, I was SOOO stressed that I *had* to let myself go there for a minute. I pictured myself scheduling the c/s. Now, I had the advantage of having a supportive midwife and doula, so it was easy for me to switch in and out of this mind-frame. It did give me relief and I stopped worrying.</p>
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<p>If it were me, and I were planning more babes, I would do whatever it took. If you go on the ICAN boards, I'm sure someone can give you the name of a traveling midwife - there must be some out there relatively close as there are Amish communities from PA to IN.</p>
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<p>Hugs to you, mama. It's a difficult road.</p>
 

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<p>I have had TWO VBAC's in Pittsburgh as of today <img alt="joy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gif">  I think you're talking about the Midwife Center, and if so I want you to know that I had my first VBAC with them (at Allegheny General), and they are awesome and very respectful.  On the other hand, I had my second at Magee (due only to financial reasons) and I was horribly skeptical due to having had my Csection there.  It was WONDERFUL though.  They have a whirlpool that you can hang out in for everything but delivery.  Magee has on-site midwives that we used instead of the regular OBs and though it was a very "hospital" setting, the care was very close to what I received at the Midwife Center (no internals without permission, and in both places I didn't get much grief for refusing the GTT even though I was a VBAC and am overweight).  Some points to consider:</p>
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<p>1)  I did have to have a port (though at Magee I was told this was solely because I hemorrhaged during my other VBAC) and I did have to have heart rate monitored.  HOWEVER, I resisted many things, and in both cases the midwives helped me.  I refused some testing, I went past due by over by 2 weeks with each pregnancy (refused induction and csection), and I munched on food (though that was an "I don't see you, OK?" situation).  The nurses were fairly laid back in both situations, and in both cases I was assured that VBAC is what they encourage all healthy women to aim for.</p>
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<p>2) I insisted that I did NOT want to get an epesiotomy, and both hospitals seemed to brush that off as something uncommon and out of date that is rarely done anymore.  I tore with VBAC1 and not at all with VBAC2.  In both cases I was delivered by midwives and encouraged to get into whatever position was most comfortable for the delivery.  Both places were much more supportive of VBAC than I had expected, and seemed to consider VBAC the norm.</p>
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<p>3) The Midwife Center has a more personal atmosphere.  You will get to know the people better, and won't come to appointments at a hospital.  Magee is extremely convenient though, and you can do everything in one place.  The midwives at Magee are just as supportive, but they do wear scrubs and such at prenatal appointments which can put you into a very medical mindset.  The birth at Magee was also a little calmer, which probably has to do with it being my second VBAC, but also because there was one hospital nurse during my Midwife Center birth that seemed to resent the Midwives for territorial reasons.  At Magee, they are all employed by the same place, so I didn't get any of that vibe (plus the hot tub is exciting, and you can use it even as a VBAC).  </p>
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<p>I don't see why EITHER place would have a problem helping you get any of your wants in the last paragraph.  I won't lie and say they were happy about skipping some of the prenatal testing, but other than having me sign an informed consent and telling me the benefits of getting that test I was never bullied or talked down to at either place.  They were very understanding and accommodating, and even if the birth was a tad more medical than I wanted, it was nothing like the horror stories you hear.  Please don't despair (though I understand the feeling and was just as upset when I couldn't birth at the Midwife Center) because if Pittsburgh is actually an option for you, it is a pretty darn good one.  </p>
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<p>I agree that it sucks that you have to uproot to find a good environment for a hospital VBAC though...that just shouldn't be the case.  I keep hoping that the attitude I saw here will leak to the surrounding areas.  Good luck with whatever you decide, and if you need any other info about the area, Magee, or the Midwife Center, feel free to PM me <img alt="thumb.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif"></p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<p>I should have said that, unfortunately, homebirth is not an option for us - which is hard, because I'm a homebirther at heart (and have a GREAT HB midwife, who was supposed to help with my son)!  After my bout with pre-e, I profoundly mistrust my body's ability to work correctly and its ability to keep a baby safe - not an ideal attitude going into a HB.  </p>
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<p>I'm actually very involved in my "local" (an hour and a half away, in city with doula/BFF) ICAN, which is how I know that the hospital in that city is not an option, although there is a supportive care provider in the city.  The hospital staff (nurses, etc), on the other hand, is not on board, and screams things in laboring mothers' faces like, "THE BABY'S CRASHING!!!!" when the EFM makes any kind of noise.</p>
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<p>Kreeblim - Congratulations on VBAC 2 this morning!!  That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear!  Thank you so much!  After all of the horror stories, I've been so scared of even setting foot in a hospital and walking around muttering things like, "Well, if I'm just going to end up with a c-section anyway..."  Your experiences make me feel really hopeful that we'll be able to find something that works for us.  Honestly, it's not a c-section I'm opposed to - it's an unnecessary one, and I've been distraught thinking that the hospitals around here would be similar to the ones in Pittsburgh.  And, yes, uprooting stinks (a lot!), but would be absolutely worth it if we got the birth we want out of it - and we looooove Pittsburgh, so could think of worse things than getting to live there for a month again!</p>
 

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<p>seems like you have had a lot of great advice that i could just repeat...so i won't, but i do want to add that i had a HBAC and it was a "mostly" good experience- no question that it was better than another c/s. i wouldn't let it go just b/c it will be in a hospital.  how far do you live from pittsburg? would you really have to stay for a month? i agree that it would be really hard, but it seems like you have a great attitude about it (and great friends!) so maybe it can work for you! i hope so- it is infuriating that we have to struggle so much! hugs.</p>
 

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<p>DDCC to say hang in there! I ignored all the warning signs and didn't switch care providers with DS#1 when I wanted a VBAC and ended up with a scheduled repeat c-section. I thoroughly regretted it. Now I had to nearly fight a war to get the local VBAC friendly doc to accept me as a patient. Don't give up!</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ComplexOphelia</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1287029/vbac-struggles#post_16134904"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> </p>
<p>Kreeblim - Congratulations on VBAC 2 this morning!!  That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! </p>
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<br><br><p><span><img alt="redface.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/redface.gif">  I think I really should have re-read what I wrote because I worded that wrong.  I had my second VBAC last January.  Thank you though!  I'm very glad it was helpful.</span></p>
 

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<p>I'm sorry your having such a hard time finding some one great.</p>
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<p>I live in Philadelphia and even with all the hospitals within driving distance I only found two MW who would take me, on in NJ who didn't take insurance and the one we went with. BOTH required hospital births. (there were some other places but they wouldn't let you go past 40 weeks)</p>
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<p>I talked with my MW extensively about the hospital and what to expect. If you are not going to be in an encouraging hospital I would defiantly get a doula or two.</p>
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<p>(((hugs))) it can be done mama. Fight for it!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Kreeblim</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1287029/vbac-struggles#post_16135621"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ComplexOphelia</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1287029/vbac-struggles#post_16134904"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> </p>
<p>Kreeblim - Congratulations on VBAC 2 this morning!!  That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! </p>
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<br><br><p><span><img alt="redface.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/redface.gif">  I think I really should have re-read what I wrote because I worded that wrong.  I had my second VBAC last January.  Thank you though!  I'm very glad it was helpful.</span></p>
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<p><br>
Hahahah, I'm sorry!  It was 5 in the morning after a night with a feverish toddler.  I WAS mightily impressed (and surprised) by your getting on MDC to write such a lovely response so quickly after giving birth ;).  Congratulations on VBAC 2 last January, then :).</p>
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<p>I'm going to vote for going to Pittsburgh! Uprooting sucks but, IMO, it would be completely worth it! I would do it in a heartbeat, hands down. </p>
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<p>So, go get your plans ready to uproot to Pittsburgh for a bit. You CAN and WILL get your VBAC!!! <img alt="love.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/love.gif"></p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
<p>Heading down to Pittsburgh seems like more and more of a plan.  We wouldn't necessarily need to be there for a whole month - I just mean going at 38 weeks and staying until babe is here!  We'll be going down to interview the midwives at The Midwife Center and at Magee sometime next week.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thanks so much for all the support and suggestions, everyone.  It's been really great to have a place to air how I'm feeling with all of this!</p>
 

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<p>You're welcome!!!!!! <span><img alt="orngbiggrin.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif"></span></p>
 
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