[PookieMom]

Okay, I'm just going to jump in here. I'm going to have my second vbac at my no-vbac local hospital.<br><br>
I'm seeing a doctor at this hospital who is very supportive of vbac but can't offer it because of hospital policy. He's under the impression that I will be delivering in a larger hospital or birth center 2+ hours away. But last appointment, he discussed worst case scenarios with me and basically said if I showed up in labor and didn't think I could make the 2+ hour drive he would have to recommend a c-section due to hospital protocol and then if I refused we would have a baby like normal. He did say there would be a whole lot of nervous people flittering around, with the exception of him. My ability to birth doesn't concern him in the slightest.<br><br>
Here's the issue: I really don't feel I can come out and tell him that we have no intentions of even seeing this hospital or birth center 2+ hours away. I have a doula who will be with me to labor at home as long as possible who can check dilation, blood pressure, and fetal heart tones. My dh is totally on board, but not for a complete home birth. We will go to this hospital when I'm close to delivery. Now, how do I go about the appointments? Should I go to every one like normal? Every other maybe? (he doesn't schedule them, I do) What do I do when he asked how I liked the big hospital or birthing center? I'm in a pretty sticky situation but the thought of driving all that way again makes me cringe. (my first vbac was at this big hospital 2+ hours away, I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy).

 

[1972momma]

Hi there. Can I ask, is your doula also a midwife? I am hoping so, because I am a certified doula through DONA (see <a href="http://www.dona.org" target="_blank">www.dona.org</a>), and doulas who are strictly doulas are seriously violating the doula code of ethics by performing clinical functions such as dilation checks, fetal heart tone checks, etc. There's a really clear line for us between what we can and can't do, so, just wanted to put that out there in case your doula may be really overstepping/over-reaching.<br><br>
As for your actual question: if it were me, I would go to as many appts. as I thought I needed and try to keep the discussion of the various birth facilities at bay, but if it does come up, in your case I probably would fudge the truth. The way I see it, he's already dealing with you with a wink and a nod -- i.e., he's saying hospital policy is one thing, but here's how we'd get around it. I'll bet you anything he already suspects what's up and is just going through the motions.<br><br>
Good luck.

 

[PookieMom]

1972momma:<br><br>
She is a Doula and she is a friend. I believe she is working on becoming a Midwife and as far as over stepping her boundaries....hmmm, I guess maybe but me personally I don't care. I trust her, I need the support, and I am comfortable with her performing these "clinical" things for my knowledge and benefit. When restrictions are put in place with people we love and trust, isn't that basically going down the same road as those "evil OB's" everyone seems to be trying to avoid these days.<br><br>
I'm sorry, I'm sure your post wasn't meant to be offensive, but I am offended. My birth options in my village of a town are already severely compromised. Now I'm supposed to pour over even more "rules". I don't think so. Maybe if she had an office somewhere and I was laboring there, I can see it. But in my own home!?!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: It is my own home and last I checked my own body too. I say who touches it, not some code of ethics.<br><br>
I'm already stressed and very touchy about people telling me what I can and can't do in my own home with my own body. The first part of your post did not help. That has no relevance to my original post. The second part....that was actually quite comforting. And I thank you.

 

[elisent]

I think it's a really great idea to have someone with you who can check dilation. I would be terrified of going in too soon.<br><br>
If you had another baby at the big hospital before can't you just tell your doctor that you didn't visit because you've already given birth there and know what it's like?<br><br>
I don't see any reason to skip appointments unless you think he will push for an induction or planned c-section as you get farther along.

 

[PookieMom]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>elisent</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11462063"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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If you had another baby at the big hospital before can't you just tell your doctor that you didn't visit because you've already given birth there and know what it's like?</div>
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Oh I like that! And it's not a lie! It's so funny that It's just the simple things that we can't think of.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Thanks!

 

[kltroy]

This is a tough one. I'm sure it can be done but if it were me, I'd probably be looking for options that felt more comfortable, because there are so many things that could go wrong with this one.<br><br>
What if your doctor is sick/out of town the day you go into labor? What if you come in too early in labor? Is there any possibility that anyone else's medical opinion can "over-ride" your doctors? Does the hospital policy actually specifically say no VBACs? How does that affect your doc's insurance coverage? Is he/she taking a risk by providing you with a VBAC against this policy?<br><br>
Ultimately, you need to do what you're comfortable with and if you're ok with the arrangement I say go for it. But make sure you have all your bases covered just in case.

 

[Sileree]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>PookieMom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She is a Doula and she is a friend. I believe she is working on becoming a Midwife and as far as over stepping her boundaries....hmmm, I guess maybe but me personally I don't care. I trust her, I need the support, and I am comfortable with her performing these "clinical" things for my knowledge and benefit. When restrictions are put in place with people we love and trust, isn't that basically going down the same road as those "evil OB's" everyone seems to be trying to avoid these days.</div>
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Sorry to take this off topic and rant a little... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"><br><br>
If this friend of yours is not certified by DONA, CAPPA or ALACE or whomever, she doesn't have to follow their definitions or rules. Period.<br><br>
And why should it be up to these organizations what your friend and helper can do? Surely it should be your decision and what you're comfortable with that matters?<br><br>
I personally am certified by DONA as the PP is, and I will follow their code as I promised I would. That was my choice. However, I remember the midwife at my training two years ago said it was pretty presumptuous of these organizations to try to tell all labor assistants what they can and cannot do and to pretty much put a monopoly on the term "doula".<br><br>
I understand if you aren't properly trained that can be dangerous. And I understand it can make other doulas look bad or make hospitals ban doulas, which would be horrible, but in theory I still have to agree with her.

 

[wombatclay]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">If this friend of yours is not certified by DONA, CAPPA or ALACE or whomever, she doesn't have to follow their definitions or rules. Period.</td>
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That's what I was going to say. Although certain "medical" things violate the ethics/guidelines set by certain doula organizations, these restrictions don't apply to doulas who don't belong to those groups. It's one reason I left DONA.<br><br>
OP- I like the idea of saying you don't need to visit because you've been there already. I didn't visit the hospital before dd2's birth since I was already familiar with it and what they offered. However, are you sure you can hold out for a normal birth at the no-vbac hospital? I mean, it sounds so straightforward before labor, and I know you've said the other hospital and homebirth are out, but there are so many variables that make birth difficult at a no-vbac facility.<br><br>
You may want to discuss very seriously the idea of a homebirth with midwife (if you're going to go at the last minute why risk a car-baby? perhaps just reassure your dh with a strong transfer plan and an experienced midwife?). Or discuss "off the books" your "hypothetical" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> plan with your current care provider. They may have glossed over A LOT since they assume you'll use the vbac hospital. Check here and with ICAN... there are mamas who vbac at non-vbac facilities, but it's tough, and those mamas are not the norm and they're not getting the peaceful/relaxed/intimate/supportive births they really deserve.<br><br>
Good luck and happy birthing!

 

[PookieMom]

I'm going to contact a Midwife in the area. I really don't even know her name. Home birth is illegal here, or I guess it's illegal for anyone to attend a home birth or something along those lines, but I would still like to talk to this Midwife. She comes highly recommended but everything is so hush hush and underground around here it just makes me nervous. I'm just going to keep reading and play it by ear. Visit with a few people here and there and practice my Hypnobirthing. Actually, since my last appointment, I've been very calm about it. Everything will fall into place. My doctor made me feel confident in myself and my body's ability to give birth and isn't that what every vbac woman's looking for?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Also, it does help that this hospital is small enough that when you show up, your doctor is called and your doctor delivers the baby. I know all the nurses (heck, DH graduated high school with a couple!) so being hurtful to me might be a little more difficult for them. I think they might be scared for me, just because they don't understand, and very nervous but overall supportive. Especially if I have a doctor on my side.<br><br>
I want to thank you all for all your responses and concerns. I really don't think I want a home birth though. Not yet anyway. I guess we'll see how things unfold. Until then, I'm not going to worry about it anymore. Again, thanks everyone!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">