VENT: A labor/delivery nurse is reading and commenting on my blog.

1595 Views 27 Replies 20 Participants Last post by dynamicdoula, Apr 15, 2006

doula and mom

Discussion Starter · Apr 8, 2006

I blog on myspace, and often it's about childbirth and being a doula, etc. Anyway an old friend of my husband's is a Labor/Delivery nurse, and for some reason she is SUBSCRIBED to my blog and occasionally she comments -- which is so strange to me, because we obvs have diametrically opposed views on childbirth.

Then today she sent her MOMMY to comment on my blog (her mommy is also a L/D nurse for 20+ years), and rather condescendingly, I might add.

I don't want to start drama on my blog, or have to freakin' defend myself and my (educated, studied) opinions. Why can't she just quietly agree to disagree with me?!?!?!

Thanks for listening to me vent.

ETA: This is the comment her mommy made after I blogged about how actual medical CPD rarely exists, and how women shouldn't have c-sections for doctors' Failure To be Patient.

Not everything is as black and white as you seem to want to paint it. Having done this a while and seen different generational and cultural responces to labor, childbirth, pain and the whole spectrum of the changing personal and family dynamics involved in the process, I feel you need to sit back and watch and observe and really LOOK at what you are seeing before you make comments.

Can someone send me a cyber-hug please? I'm so frustrated. 98% of women in this country give birth in hospitals and not at birth centers or at home; the c-section rate is climbing; the VBAC rate is decreasing -- can't I just blog freely about what I believe to be the truth????

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ozzyemm

· #2 · Apr 8, 2006

2

That's frustrating. My husband's aunt is a retired L&D nurse, and she agreed with alot of the stuff I had to say, esp. about the Drs

.

When I was in labor, my nurse was a former midwife, who, after finding out I wasn't taking meds, did everything she could to help with my pain naturally, and she LEFT ME ALONE with my doula, so we could concentrate and not be interrupted.

She just sounds like a cranky lady

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amydidit

· #3 · Apr 8, 2006

How frustrating! {hugs} Can you make your blog open to comments from friends only? Or set it up that you have to screen comments before they're placed? At least then you could just delete their crap.

{hugs}

courtenay_e

· #4 · Apr 8, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by amydidit
How frustrating! {hugs} Can you make your blog open to comments from friends only? Or set it up that you have to screen comments before they're placed? At least then you could just delete their crap.

{hugs}

Oooh, that sounds like a good idea! If you did that, she'd just get frustrated and perhaps stop posting. Anyway, you really CAN just vent and blog, as you're quoting evidenced based medicine. You are in the right. I'd simply act as if those replies weren't there and cite your info. Hard to disagree with evidence based medicine...power mongers or not. Hugs to you!

KittyKat

· #5 · Apr 8, 2006

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing as the previous poster. I've posted to only one or 2 blogs (friends) and they had theirs set up so comments were reviewed before showing up.

I'd definitely do that, and delete the snarky ones. It's YOUR blog, if they want to post medicalized "Doctors are GODS" stuff let them start their OWN blogs.

Kathryn

Kathryn

· #6 · Apr 8, 2006

Block her from your blog. I wouldn't want those kind of comments on there.

afishwithabike

· #7 · Apr 8, 2006

You don't need that bit of evil as you blog out the truth among the lies. I am glad there are women out there like you willing to offer services so that we can have true natural childbirth as nature intended. Sadly many simply think natural means it comes out the same hole it went into.

Lynski

· #8 · Apr 8, 2006

Seriously! This is YOUR blog. You wouldn't let her write an entry in your journal about how you don't know what you're doing. Block her, or whatever it is that you have to do. That's your space to be you, if you wanted their advice you would have asked for it!

charmander

· #9 · Apr 8, 2006

Is there an ignore feature on your blog? Hugs to you.

doula and mom

Discussion Starter · #10 · Apr 8, 2006

Thanks ladies.

I feel like we're back in high school or something like that. The L/D nurse has deleted me and blocked me (I guess she read my comment about how strange it was that my husband was friends back in high school with a L/D nurse.

) So I guess I don't have to worry about THAT anymore. But jeez.

Anyway, I appreciate everyone's support, and I even talked to my dh about it and he told me not to let it get to me and to keep on keeping on, as they say.

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M&M-mom

· #11 · Apr 9, 2006

Big HUG!!!!
I was a L/D nurse until my 1st child was born. Currently, I am pregnant with my third and am seeing a midwife and having a natural birth. I have learned so much in the last year, none of which was covered in nursing school. I am very frustrated with the fact that I thought I was informed and making good choices with my first two. Unfortunately, I was reading the wrong information. Some of it really makes me sick, that I can't trust most of the medical community. Not because they have bad intentions, just because they are not informed of all the facts.
It is unfortunate that the nurses are causing trouble on your blog without doing further research themselves.

M&M-mom

· #12 · Apr 9, 2006

Big HUG!!!!
I was a L/D nurse until my 1st child was born. Currently, I am pregnant with my third and am seeing a midwife and having a natural birth. I have learned so much in the last year, none of which was covered in nursing school. I am very frustrated with the fact that I thought I was informed and making good choices with my first two. Unfortunately, I was reading the wrong information. Some of it really makes me sick, that I can't trust most of the medical community. Not because they have bad intentions, just because they are not informed of all the facts.
It is unfortunate that the nurses are causing trouble on your blog without doing further research themselves.

M&M-mom

· #13 · Apr 9, 2006

Big HUG!!!!
I was a L/D nurse until my 1st child was born. Currently, I am pregnant with my third and am seeing a midwife and having a natural birth. I have learned so much in the last year, none of which was covered in nursing school. I am very frustrated with the fact that I thought I was informed and making good choices with my first two. Unfortunately, I was reading the wrong information. Some of it really makes me sick, that I can't trust most of the medical community. Not because they have bad intentions, just because they are not informed of all the facts.
It is unfortunate that the nurses are causing trouble on your blog without doing further research themselves.

broodymama

· #14 · Apr 9, 2006

Sorry she was causing such trouble on your blog, but at least it is resolved now (one way or the other).

A little bit OT, but could you PM me the link to your MySpace account?

I have one too and yours sounds like a blog I would be interested in reading!

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gentlebirthmothr

· #15 · Apr 9, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by M&M-mom
Big HUG!!!!
I was a L/D nurse until my 1st child was born. Currently, I am pregnant with my third and am seeing a midwife and having a natural birth. I have learned so much in the last year, none of which was covered in nursing school. I am very frustrated with the fact that I thought I was informed and making good choices with my first two. Unfortunately, I was reading the wrong information. Some of it really makes me sick, that I can't trust most of the medical community. Not because they have bad intentions, just because they are not informed of all the facts.
It is unfortunate that the nurses are causing trouble on your blog without doing further research themselves.

m&,

2nd that even though I'm not an nurse. Or mom yet. I volunteer in the maternity/womens health unit at the local hospital by, hoping for a pay job there in the future. I do see what you saw and experienced. Ever since I came here July, 2005 and return to here in November or December, 2005 I know this kind of pregnancy, birth, parenting, living way better then the mainstream.

Thank you.

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mysticmomma

· #16 · Apr 10, 2006

delete the comments, and then set it up so that comments must be approved first. If you make your blog for friends only, you could potentially block your wonderful info from mommies that need it.

indie

· #17 · Apr 10, 2006

I was going to say post the address of your blog so we can post how smart you are and how dumb the other lady is

, but I guess she already took care of herself.

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sapphire_chan

· #18 · Apr 10, 2006

What exactly does her comment have to do with CPD? I mean, it's not like there's *that* much difference in hospital cultures across the US, is there? Is she trying to say that women should tolerate c-sections because doctor's have this 'culture' that women's bodies aren't built to give birth?

littleteapot

· #19 · Apr 11, 2006

I find that it's the ones who are (or claim to be) L&D or RN's who show the most ignorance regarding pregnancy and birth. It's outrageous. I see more ridiculous myths and half-truths from those people than I do from first time moms under the thumb of an intervention-happy OB!
In the last few weeks alone I've been told by L&D nurses (or people who have mothers who are L&D nurses) that:

Getting pregnant within two years of a c-section will make my uterus explode even before I go into labour.
I 100%, without a doubt, will hemorrhage: because that's what VBACs do.
Nursing during my last pregnancy is probably what caused my son's birth defect.
Not knowing my due date will make it incredibly dangerous to give birth, lest I go "too far" overdue.

And many more... and these aren't from run-of-the-mill moms, these are from the "Educated"!

:

ITA with everyone else: block her, delete her comments. You don't need that.

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Kathryn

· #20 · Apr 11, 2006

Ugh. Like nursing causes heart defects. What idiots.

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