[DoomaYula]

First of all let me say that I completely understand this hospital's "position" on this issue, but I'm still annoyed.

My kids were born at 34w, and spent a week in a NICU. The staff was very nice and I thought it was a great NICU. Because they'd had TTTS, I expected that my boys would be be born early and I expected a stay in the NICU, so I was fine with all of it. Plus I lived only about 15 minutes away, and I had a lot of family and friends who visited with the boys.

Anyway, we moved x-country when the boys were 6 months and every year I send a framed pic of them "then and now" with a little Thank You blurb to the NICU. I've always wanted to go to a NICU grad reunion, but obvs we're too far away.

I just found out the local hospital (small town, only one hospital) is having a NICU grad reunion, and I called the supervisor to find out if my boys and I could attend. She said no, it was only for this hospital's NICU grads.

As I've said, I understand their position, but my kids are NICU grads and I'd really like for them to see other kids who were in the NICU, etc.

 

[angie7]

Our NICU had a reunion a month after my girls got out. I asked the nurses if it was for anyone and she said any baby that was in the NICU for any amount of time. We say a lady and her baby that was in the NICU for 3 days with ours (ft baby).

I dont understand why your babies arent allowed? You did graduate from the NICU??

 

[DoomaYula]

Apparently it's ONLY the kids that were in THIS NICU.

:

 

[angie7]

Quote:

Originally Posted by YumaDoula Apparently it's ONLY the kids that were in THIS NICU. :

Missed that point completely!!! I didnt realize she meant going to a NICU from a different hospital....Well in that case, I can understand why you wouldnt be allowed to attend...Sorry, my brain must have hiccuped

:

 

[DoomaYula]

Yeah, I totally understand it, I'd just like it if my kids could go, I think they'd enjoy it and they ARE NICU grads. Just not from this town.

 

[momof4peppers]

That sucks. Could you write a letter to the supervisor and explain that the NICU experience is so unique that you'd like to meet others in your area who've BTDT? Plus it's good pr for the hospital - as a nicu mom, you're more apt to recommend the hospital to other parents if you have a connection to it.

 

[secondseconds]

The nurses and doctors at this hospital's NICU have a special relationship with the children that were there in their care. They don't know you or your kids, the people at the hospital that you went to do. If they invite you, why not essentially open it to the public? That sort of takes away from the "specialness" for these kids and the staff.

The poster above me mentioned writing to the supervisor, and I think writing a letter to the supervisor would be totally wrong and would come off as though you wanted to get the nurse who told you no "in trouble".

I do think it would be wonderful to start a NICU group, you could ask the hospital if they know of an existing group where parents and kids get together, and if not--start one, that would be awesome!

 

[secondseconds]

Quote:

Originally Posted by YumaDoula Yeah, I totally understand it, I'd just like it if my kids could go, I think they'd enjoy it and they ARE NICU grads. Just not from this town.

I didn't get the impression that this nurse who said no was trying to imply that your kids aren't NICU grads, just that they don't know you, you were never a patient at THEIR NICU and this get together is specifically for *their* NICU grads, not any and all NICU grads who happen to be in the area.

 

[kirk_heidi]

We moved too but the NICU my twins were in was the county hospital so they didn't do graduations anyways. I thought it was a bummer then too!

 

[OGirlieMama]

I sort of see your point, but I can't imagine wanting to have a reunion with a bunch of people I had never met before. It's not really a reunion, you know? We were in the NICU for a little over 2 months, and we really built relationships with the other parents, nurses, and doctors there. You may have built those relationships, but not at this particular hospital. For us, that kind of reunion would be a tremendously emotional event, not just a meet-and-greet kind of thing.

I think it's really lovely that you want your kids to meet other NICU grads. I just don't think this particular event is the right place for that.

 

[momof4peppers]

i guess i come from a different perspective - we didn't make any "relationships" with other parents or nurses. Too much turnover. We had something like 45 nurses, and because it was a teaching hospital, I don't think I ever saw the neonatologist - just the residents, who are most likely not even there anymore. And I was so wrapped up in our bubble of our story, and our kids, that quite honestly, I didn't care about any other kids in the NICU. Our kids first photos however show them hooked up to wires and tubes while one of their sisters photos doesn't. And we are at the stage where they're asking lots of "why" questions and feeling like they're not like other kids. It would be nice to have a place where they could see that other kids have baby photos that look just like theirs.

 

[Satori]

I can understand why, think of it another way, I'm assuming you graduated high school. Most schools have reunions what, every 10 years? Lets say you graduated in Texas, would you attend the reunion in the new neighborhood high school in California? No? Why not? Because you don't know anyone there, you didn't bond with anyone, the only thing you have in common is the fact you all went to a high school. Its no different with the NICU, the families there went though the experience together and share emotional connections and bonds and come to see each other and how there doing now. Its not a public social event, I agree with the above suggestions, start a support group but I'd stop trying to horn in on a private event.

 

[mommymaemae]

Would they let you put up a note on some sort of bulletin board or put out a flyer to start an NICU playgroup? that way you wouldn't be "encroaching" (sorry, not that I think you are, just couldn't think of a better word) on their party but could still meet/network with other NICU families in your area. I can see that it could be really great, even just on a subconscious level, for kids to be around other kids who had that unique experience as newborns. Just because they won't let you join their frankfurter party doesn't mean you can't hook up with those families, right?