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<p>I am almost two weeks out from my D&C after a loss (story <a href="http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1347990/dont-let-this-happen-to-you">here</a>) and I was looking forward to TTC again in August. August feels like so far away when I want to be pregnant now but I also want to wait and make sure my body is really ready. Now my husband is saying he wants to wait until January 2013 at the earliest to TTC. That just feels like he is taking away the only thing that has kept me from falling apart, which is trying again soon. We have a SN son who is more than a hand full and our sons needs are my husband's excuse for wanting to wait longer. Well the kid's needs are never going to change so . . . the time is never going to be right?!? and the treatment process is so slow, I have been fighting for appropriate services and therapies for years! Sorry I just needed to vent. Oh and there is this situation where a woman from the Nov 2012 birth club (my due date was Nov 6) is new to my tribal area so I have been trying to help her find a midwife because she really needs the advice but it is killing me at the same time. She posted sorry for your loss when I left the club but I don't think she has put two and two together and realized who I am. It's silly I know but I am hormonal and sensitive right now.</p>
 

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<p>Patti, one evening when my DH didn't want to talk about when we would TTC again, or even when we would talk about <em>when</em> we would talk about TTC again, I just about lost it. I think I simultaneously had every horrible feeling there could possibly be, ranging from "why be married if we aren't going to have babies" to "why am I on this Earth if I can't do a simple thing like keep a baby safe." It. was. awful. And overwhelming. I was so angry (and hormonal!). But it passed. Even though he kept telling me that we for sure would try again, he just didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to be able to pencil in when I could start thinking about a baby again, not when he would guarantee me a baby but that seemed to be the way he saw it. He couldn't recognize the fact it would take a minimum of 9 months from the time we started TTC to the time there could possibly be a baby in arms, and kept saying he didn't want us to bring home a baby this summer because it was too soon (as if that were even possible!) and that he wanted to wait until the end of the year or early next year. I could hardly breathe. I'm sure he was hurting too, and finding "excuses" (like "we can't afford a baby," even when only days earlier we were confident in our finances expecting to bring home a baby this spring) was a way to deal with it. It didn't last too long, though.</p>
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<p>So I guess what I'm saying is I can understand how frustrating it is. When I first lost my son, even April seemed <em>so far away</em>. But here I am now, and it wasn't so bad. I still wouldn't want to wait until August, because it <em>does</em> seem so far away right now, but at least some of that time will be waiting for cycles to return. When I was about 2 weeks out from my loss, I started focusing on when my cycles would return and how I could be ready for another baby and that's made the time go by sortof fast. And perhaps your DH thinks of TTC in the timeline when the baby will be in arms, rather than when you BD, like mine did, and be ready to try for a baby <em>to be here</em> in January 2013 or later?</p>
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<p>I'm still so sorry this happened to you. I can't even imagine it, it shouldn't happen to anyone. <img alt="hug.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1333578381706_301" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></p>
 

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<p>Thanks Autumngrey, I am sorry for your loss as well. I have a hard time posting here because I keep thinking my loss must seem like nothing to others since it was so early. My husband keeps talking about suing my OBGYN but I really don't want to deal with court. I wish my husband meant have a baby HERE by January 2013. He means have a baby here after September 2013. With my work schedule spring babies are ideal if you can plan them, HA to planning like that ever really works! So on the day my miscarriage started, my grad student advisor emailed me that I wouldn't be graduating on time and it will be summer semester instead. Yesterday I got a rejection from the school at which I applied for the doctorate program, then as I was sitting at a red light someone rear ended me. The past month has sucked! To be proactive I have started making a list of all the things we can do for my SN son. Maybe if I can focus on my husband's concern about SN treatments then I can show him what we can do to make it work. I am on BC pills and have a 16 week supply. When I counted out the weeks I realized that my last pill falls on my 35th birthday (July 14) now if that isn't a sign for when to stop taking BC I don't know what is! Thanks for letting me vent <span><img alt="blahblah.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1333649838572_162" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/blahblah.gif"></span></p>
 
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