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My best friend (who now lives 3.5 hrs away) just had a baby (5 wks.) and when I went to visit them in February she had decided to CD and I placed an order at ElBee as a gift for her (Baker's Dozen) and also spent a lot of $ on other dipes (she reimbursed me for a small portion), covers, etc. etc. never mind the TIME spend online shppoing etc. Doesn't sound like such a bad deal, does it? LOL! I DID enjoy it since I was happy with my stash for dd. When I was down this summer I prewashed them all for her, showed her what to do (how much soap, cycles etc.). She used sposies at first b/c her mom had bought her tons and she didn't want to buy newborn CDs. So the other day she emails me saying CDing didn't work out so well, it soaked through in an hour and her ds had a red bum. So she tried 3-4 more dipes, washed them up and sent them back to me!<br><br>
4 dipes and that's it folks? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> I am just upset. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> I mean, I know CDing isn't for everyone, but there's so much troubleshooting we could have done! And the dipes weren't at their max absorbency, etc. etc. ARGH!!!! She didn't even phone me, just packed 'em up and sent them to me. I don't even want to think about selling them etc. and trying to get some of the money back. I'll probably sell some, but we're TTC, so I'll keep most of them and probably just reimburse her the $ she paid. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
But all the special ones I had custom made for her. Oh, it just makes me sick. A Suzie's zoo duck AIO (her theme), several with construction prints (her dh is in construction), a HB with a duck applique, a cow Posie Patch PUL cover (her dh's family owns a dairy).<br><br>
ARGHHH!!!!!!!<br><br>
And she wants me to cancel her Mothering subscription I bought her when I first found out she was pregnant.<br><br>
So, that's it I guess. That's what you get for trying to share (interpretated as force?) your ideals on someone.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">But all the special ones I had custom made for her. Oh, it just makes me sick. A Suzie's zoo duck AIO (her theme), several with construction prints (her dh is in construction), a HB with a duck applique, a cow Posie Patch PUL cover (her dh's family owns a dairy).</td>
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Wow , you put such thought into those diapers. I am so sorry she gave up so easy. It sounds like she was pretty rude about it. My heart breaks for you. You sound like a great friend.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> You are a good friend....... Why does she want you to cancel the magazine....... and to not even call........<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> I would be mad to....... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/af.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="aunt flo">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I wish you were my friend! I'd appreciate you. I'm so sorry. I guess she finds Mothering too crunchy?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Oh my goodness! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> You are such a wonderful, caring friend, putting together an amazing stash for her. Those custom dipes sound beautiful. And an Elbee baker's dozen?!?!? I'm SO sorry she didn't give them a chance. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I feel just terrible for you. More <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> What a bummer, sounds like she has issues. You can lead em to water....
 

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You are SUCH a nice friend, and it doesn't sound like you were treated nicely in return. Reimburse HER the money? If anything, she owes money to you! How frustrating!
 

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Did she go anti-natural parenting or something? I say that b/c she even wanted to cancel her Mothering subscription - what is wrong with Mothering?<br><br>
Well, I know I would feel slighted too - and sad for the baby. You did put so much thought and $$ into that for her . . . well, if I were you I would not reimburse monies. She decided it wasn't for her, but you are NOT a retailer . . . you did not get these diapers at COST! You are out money too. I'd just receive them back and call it 'even.' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">And she wants me to cancel her Mothering subscription I bought her when I first found out she was pregnant.</td>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
Why? There is so much wonderful information in Mothering!!<br><br>
Sorry it didn't work out for her.
 

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I'm sorry! I find it very rude that she just sent them back to you with out calling. I wonder if she was uncomfortable talking to you about it. I'm sure you weren't being pushy, but as you say she may have been perceiving it that way. I'm with Heather. You're not a retailer.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"> What a waste of effort! You were so thougthful! I'm sooo sorry it wasn't appreciated! Will you be my friend? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
I think this kind of rejection at least deserves a call! How rude to just send them back with no notice. You get the box thinking its some kind of surprise fluffy mail and it turns out to be a heartbreak. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
And what a nice stash! There's no accounting for taste <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake">
 

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She definitely didn't even want to try to troubleshoot, hence the no phone call. She was trying to avoid the suggestion, I would assume, due to guilt, maybe? And if her mom bought her tons of sposies, then her mom may have had a part to play in her giving up so fast. Especially if it's her first baby, and she's venturing into the unknown every day and needing Mom for help. I started with sposies on ds, and it was HARD for me to put those first cloth dipes on him and stick with it. I put out for them myself, though, and didn't know about selling them online, etc, so I stuck with it because it was a lot of money. I'm very glad I did, now, but for a while it was touch and go.<br><br>
I agree that she should have called you, and I also don't think that you should reimburse her anything. She is entitled to her decision to use disposables, but she isn't entitled to treat you like crap. I'm sorry that this happened, you sound like an awesome friend and should have been treated with respect by being told that the diapers were coming back to you and why. I wish I had had someone that supportive and knowledgeable from day one, it may have prevented quite a few sposies from entering our landfills! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Not that I think you are wrong to be seriously peeved but...<br><br>
She is probably Really Embarrassed, knowing that you put so much out for her, and knowing that she "failed" at cd. And probably thinks she failed at everything else in Mothering, too...<br><br>
If you can stay cool about it, you may be able to convert her later on - it takes a long time to grow out of diapering and she may wise up as she goes along - it may just be too overwhelming right now, but that doesn't mean it will always be. The 1st can be a struggle - assuming this was her first?<br><br>
I tried with SIL at first but she wouldn't even nibble - but now that her baby is older, she's thinking again...<br><br>
Do you know someone who can really use the Mothering sub - maybe one person, maybe a mother's group?
 

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Wow, you are such a good friend. I am so sorry you got treated so poorly. I agree that she didn't make the phone call out of guilt or a feeling of failure, but as your friend she should have sucked it up and called. That is what friends do. I'm sure you would have been a friend in return and been very understanding if she had wanted to back out. At least you wouldn't have been blown away by the suprise package. Grrrr. That is just wrong.<br><br>
This may be really passive aggresive, but I don't think you should cancel Mothering. The mean side of me thinks that it will be a little monthly reminder of how badly she treated you, and the nice side of me thinks maybe she will pick it up because it is there and possibly learn something. If she really wants it cancelled that badly she can pick up the phone and do it herself.<br><br>
I wouldn't refund her money either. You are out not only the money you put in, but all that time too. I would sell the diapers if it was me. It would remind me of what happened and instead of enjoying diapering the new baby I would feel bad. You could sell them and have fun buying special new diapers just for you(um, your baby to be).<br><br>
amy<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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You are such a nice friend. That is so incredible that you would invest so much time in money in that. I would be very hurt. I also think she didn't call because of guilt. At least you can use most of these diapers for yourself. I don't think you should give her any money back. She is lucky to have such a great friend.
 

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What a sweet friend you are. You really did put lots of time and energy into something you believe in just for her.<br><br>
But try not to take her rejection of CD's personally. She has NO IDEA what efforts you put into it. Let's just say she's ignorant of the whole CD world!!! I'm sure new motherhood is a bit overwhelming to her and she's probably getting flack about CD's from her mother who was willing to purchase all those DD's. CDing is not for everyone and perhaps in time she'll be interested again, perhaps not. If she is then she sure knows who to turn to.<br><br>
And about the Mothering magazine -it was probably too out there for her. Just a few years ago it would've been for me too - but not now!! You planted the seed so just let it grow even if it's slow.<br><br>
I just don't want you to take this personally. You are certainly a wonderful friend and perhaps some day she'll realize the scope of what you did for her.<br><br>
Hugs,<br><br>
M
 

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That is very frustrating- you are a good friend and put a lot of work and thought inot the gifts. It would have been nice if she'd given a phone call or something- just mailing them back is rather harsh- even if she decided against cloth.
 

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Awww!! I'm so sorry! I'm dealing with my step mother, they are having a little baby....and she said she wanted to do cloth. So I bought some dipes(3 FB, 2 Kissaluvs NB), 3 fleece liners, some doublers, some inserts, some flannel wipes, and a PUL bag.<br><br>
Well, last week she decided that after doing her "research" that she found out that cloth is even worse for the environment that sposies!! ?!?!?!?!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><br><br>
I said she was nuts...and she said that the energy and water are wasted by washing them, and that ALL of the EXCESSIVE laundry detergent used is polluting the environment......yeah, all 1 cup of it a month...LOL.<br><br>
I don't know where she got her information. And then she said that cloth is SO much more expensive than sposies.....I ended up getting a ton of links of information showing her what was the truth...but she somehow believes that by using sposies, she is saving money and the environment, and that washing dipes is WAY too much work,<br><br>
*shakes head* like natashaccat said, you can lead them to water, but can't make them drink. I think of that poor little babies health. I am suffering with infertility issues right now, and I know that many of them are due to exposure to chemicals all my life.<br><br>
What can you do...I'm sorry it happened, and for being your best friend, she should have been a little more open and honest with you.<br><br>
*HUGS*
 

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I could have written that, myself, except I didn't quite spend SO much money. At least she is giving them back so you can use them.<br><br>
Personally, I wouldn't cancel the subscription, and I think it's just plain rude that she asked you to do that. She doesn't "HAVE" to read it, she can leave it at an office or hairdresser, or donate it. The magazine only comes every other month, if you want just tell her you'll take care of it, then don't cancel. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/FIREdevil.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="devil">
 
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