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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My friend's water broke at 38w1d. She didn't have any contractions for at least 12 hours and didn't even mention it to anybody for quite a while. So finally she went to see her midwife. She was 1cm, 50%, 0 station and still no contractions. So her midwife told her that the baby is just not ready, she'd need to go to the hospital to be induced because there isn't anything she can do for her to get things going. Midwife did not transfer with her.

So she packed up and went to the hospital. As she was packing she did start contracting, but still went to hospital, which is at least an hour and a half away from her house, contracting the whole time. Upon being admitted, still no cervical changes but contracting every 2-3 minutes. Luckily she was contracting too much for them to give her cytotec (misoprostol) and they asked if she wanted to try pitocin or if she just wanted to walk the halls for a while. She walked the halls. Since her water was broken they didn't check her for a long time but when they did, the next morning around 8am, she was 3cm, 80%. Still no pitocin. She ended up having a completely natural, spontaneous labor and birth just before 1pm.... at the hospital.

There was absolutely no reason for her to be there. I know she didn't want to be there and was absolutely terrified on her way there. She was crying most of the way. She's also a very shy, modest person who had never had a pelvic exam done by anybody but her midwife, and was horrified when the on-call doctor that came on the next morning (and who ended up delivering her baby) was a male. The hospital didn't do ANYTHING for her. She would have been more comfortable at her midwife's little birth center. There was nothing wrong with her body, or her baby. It all worked just like it was supposed to. I don't understand what the problem would have been with waiting a bit longer to see if the contractions started on their own rather than just automatically telling her to go to the hospital. I have no idea how she's processing through all of this right now (it was a couple of days ago) because I haven't really talked to her since then. She's been very tired and overwhelmed by her huge family so I have just left her alone. But I wouldn't be surprised if later on when she processes through it a bit more, she gets angry. I would. But right now, I'm angry FOR her.

I know it's not my birth though and if she is fine with this in the future, then I'm happy for her. But if it had happened to me I would just be livid.
 

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I hate to pass judgement when I can't know the whole story, but it sounds like her midwife left her stranded. I'm glad things are okay, but that must have been awful. Good thing she has a friend who "gets it".
 

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...not quarterbackin' here, but I wondered if the mw was a CNM or a CPM(doubt that)...sounds like she was afraid of letting your friend go too long with broken water...but that's what a thermometer is for!
Glad she has a friend like you also. The good news, is I bet she will have a fine hb next time
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
This was a CPM, not a CNM.

My mom's water broke with me 3-4 days before I was born... I was just fine. I have heard of several other stories like this. I wouldn't think a home birth midwife who has been practicing for 26 years would be afraid of a broken water for 12 hours with no contractions...
 

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Just wanted to say that, even though she has a large family, she may not have anyone to help her process the birth. I had tons of people around me after my DD1 was born, lots of family and friends, but nobody to listen to me talk about all the things I *really needed* to talk about concerning the birth. It was several weeks before I was able to get together with my friends who could relate to my natural birth experiences and disappointments, and I found that to be difficult and isolating. A lot of times these kinds of disappointments are minimalized and marginalized because the birth ended up being relatively uneventful and the baby is healthy.

It's thoughtful of you to give her space, but maybe don't stay away too long. A well-meaning email, text, or phone call may be just the kind of support she needs right now, especially if she's been disappointed by the care provider she placed so much trust in over the past several months.
 
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