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<p>DD is 14 months old. I haven't seen a penny from ex since I was 5 months pregnant. Excuse after BS excuse, all the while he's going out to bars regularly, etc., etc. He finally gave me money a couple weeks ago....... a whole $60!!! About what I figured he would. He claimed he wanted to see her (genuine or an act is anyone's guess), so I asked him that he bring some money then, explaining that I had to purchase some necessities for DD and had to spend the money that I was going to pay my cell phone bill with. So what does he say when he hands it over? "I'm happy to help you out with your phone bill." Uh, no, you're just paying me back for the half that I basically fronted you that came out of my bill money, asshat. Ugh.<br><br>
And he keeps telling me he wants to watch DD on his days off (undoubtedly because he doesn't want to pay for child care). Then he said something about having friends that could watch her...uh, yeah, I don't trust his friends for anything, and the woman who's going to watch DD I can trust to respect her dietary needs, and our other crunchy stuff. I guess it's a good sign that there's a tiny possibility he might actually contribute, if he's trying so hard to get me to change my mind. I won't count on it and am budgeting as paying for it myself, of course.<br><br>
Things are kinda frustrating now. I've heard from his parents twice since DD's birthday when they ditched it, thinking it would push him to be more involved. I had to email his mom to ask her to tell him to respond to my emails and she said the usual "we need to get together" and that they still had DD's birthday presents (that he never bothered to bring to her birthday or the last visit). I emailed her a couple weeks later suggesting that even though ex's work schedule wouldn't let him be there, that we should still get together so the grandpaternals could see DD. She never responded. She did comment on a picture of DD that I posted on Facebook, but that's it. They haven't seen her in 3 months and I'm so hurt and angry. It is so important to them that their son be involved that they are letting it affect their relationship with her. And they just refuse to let themselves see the truth that it won't change anything. Part of me wants to let them know how I feel and that they need to either be in or out, but I'm doing the better thing and just no longer reaching out...if they want to see her, they can contact me. I'm done trying.<br><br>
On top of all that, because of the fact that he's kinda sorta around and I can't just tell him to shape up or ship out, it frustrates me so much. The fact that I don't have a partner to help me get her back to sleep when she wakes at night, or a real father for her to take her every once in a while or overnight so I can have some ME time. It's like a tease, and when he wasn't around at all I felt much better about all of it.<br><br>
I so wish sometimes that I had never contacted them. When they met her, I thought for sure that they would be involved and be there for her. I figured she deserved them, and they deserved her. I took the risk of him being around so she could have a relationship with her grandparents. And this is what happened. I just wanted her to have her family. <span><img alt="mecry.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1334889220781_162" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/mecry.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>Can you contact DES or Child Support and get an order for support? Eventually you will get a wage garnishment and in theory the money will come that way, you won't need to track him down, the state will do it.</p>
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<p>I wouldn't keep hounding his parents, they sound as responsible as DD's father.  If they can't remember to bring the 'present' then get to fed ex and ship the darn thing.  That is what friggin responsible people do.</p>
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<p>Is there a moms club or play group you can join?  Sometimes just having a group of other moms/families that you could call if need be is helpful.  (babysitting swaps, playtime, impromptu coffee etc)</p>
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<p>Hugs <img alt="hug2.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1334902734878_164" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></p>
 

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<p>I know you originally wanted no support order so that he wouldn't have any involvement with you but, now that he is somewhat in the picture, I think you might as well make him legally responsible for his daughter. He won't be responsible on his own, so get the state to do it.</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1334948100417_160" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span><br>
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<p>It is time to get what you and your daughter are due.  Don't think twice about it/<br>
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<p>You're in Texas, right? If you file for child support, he'll be ordered to pay a minimum of about $225 per month (even if he doesn't have a job, they impute his income based on minimum wage at 40 hours per week, and he'll be ordered to pay 20% of that.)</p>
 

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<p>Sorry you're struggling right now.</p>
 
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