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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What a morning. Andrick had to have a UGI done this morning. Needless to say, I've had an entire morning filled with guilt. The whole process, while necessary, seems so barbaric to me. Everytime we have to go through one of these procedures it breaks my heart. He wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight lastnight so I scheduled his appointment for the first available, 9am. We got there and waited until 10:30. He's only 18 months so there was no explaining to him why he couldn't eat or have something to drink. We walked, and played hand games and pointed at stuff and played peek-a-boo and on and on the entire time with him making his food and drink signs. Finally, we get into the room and I had to strip him down and put a gown that would have been large on a 12 year old on him. I finally convince the nurse that he would be happier with the gown off. Then we battled over diapers. She wanted me to take his diaper off to wait on the doctor. I suggested that perhaps it would be best to leave his diaper on so that he wouldn't urinate all over everything and then have to lay in it. Her response was, "well, if you think he's going to use the bathroom, I guess you can". Well, hello! He's 18 months old, what do you think the chances are of him peeing all over everything!? So then the doctor comes in and Andrick has to lie back on the table and they put the x-ray machine down on him. He immediately starts try to climb out of it and crying to get to me. All I can do is stand at his head to try to comfort him. At this point, it's time to feed him the Barium. Another one on the list of things I don't want to do.... feed my child a radioactive material. The poor little guy is so hungry by this point that he is practically inhaling the Barium. When he finally got enough for them to see via the x-ray he starts crying again because he wants more. Then comes the manipulating him into unnatural positions to get the best pictures of his tummy; the entire time he's crying for Mommy and reaching for me to pick him up. So, by the end, we find out he does NOT have an obstruction in his upper GI which is good news, of course, but I feel like the worst mommy in the world because I had to put him through all of this once again. GGGRRRR.... I always feel so torn after one of these appointments b/c intellectually, I know we have to stay on top of these things but my heart and soul are so bruised from forcing him to go through what basically comes down to sanctioned torture time and time again. It's a couple hours later, now. He has a full tummy and is taking a nap. He appears just fine and dandy, thank you very much, completely over the trauma. I just wonder, though, in the long run, what psychological damage is being done everytime we go through this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"> Anyway, thanks for listening. ~ Brook
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> this sounds so hard for you mama! I don't really know what to say, except that I hear you, and my heart hurts for you. Glad that the news was good, at least, and more <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> for you and your boy.
 

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Thanks so much DaliMomma! I really appreciate the kind words of support. I was just completely over-whelmed yesterday, as was Andrick. It was just one of those days. We are both much better today, though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angel.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angel"> The hugs helped! ~ Brook
 

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I just had to send hugs to you, too. We have had to put DS through surgery (ear tubes/adenoids), 2 EEGs and an MRI. Each was so difficult on DH and I. I totally understand how hard it is to deal with a toddler who wants to eat/drink and you cant give it to them.<br><br>
With the first EEG we had, the staff at the hospital stripped Ds naked, wrapped him in sheets and then taped him to the table. She then proceeded to attach all of the electrodes - all I could do was stroke his face and feet (the only parts sticking out of his restraints) and sing to him, to calm him down. He cried intermittenly. Then when she was done, we had to get him to fall asleep!<br><br>
The second EEG we just had was at a different place. They let me get him to sleep first and then attached the electrodes - no strapping him to the bed or anything. I was so angry after I realized what I put my son through earlier - for no reason!<br><br>
But somehow they get through it and I'd like to think we are the ones who are bearing the brunt of the psychological trauma for them! <<<hugs>>>><br><br>
Jenn & Ben 2.5 (Speech Delay, SID, Seizures???)
 

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My heart goes out to you. I was so anxious for you when reading your post. I can imagine how very hard that was for you. My heart would break, too!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
Just remember this: children are so adaptable. Your child is otherwise loved and cared for and responded to on a daily basis by a mother who loves him. I know in the long run that will win the day!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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{{{IlaBrook}}}<br>
You are sucha great mommy for holding together through all that. I'm taking my 7 yr old to the GI clininc today, and I have no idea what they are doing!
 

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What a hard experience <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> About the psycological damage that you are worried about...I just think that he will always remember how his Mommy was always there and how much love and support he felt from you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br>
I'm so glad that he doesn't have that obstruction <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Oh goodness... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you...<br><br>
I've had to put my son through situations like this and I too have been recently wondering if my parenting can counteract any trauma he might have experienced. Like the time nurses held him down & tried to get an IV started for half an hour (four sticks!) because he was dehydrated. Or when he was just a few days old and we had problems getting his foot to bleed for the PKU (not doing one of those for any other children I might have). Or even just when he's hungry and is taken away from me by total strangers and given gas for his surgeries... What lasting effect might any of this have on him?<br><br>
Honestly, I don't know. But I see my son interact with the world and he's not scared of people and he's very independent (and yet comes back to us for hugs and to be held) and he has not yet associated any of the nurses or doctors we've worked with with pain or trauma that I can see because he's totally trusting with them.<br><br>
So I know that you feel bad, I've been there myself. But I think that loving them as much as you can (and obviously do) can counteract a lot of that hurt. You're obviously a great mama! Keep up the good work keeping your baby safe. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I am on the special needs thread because I’m thinking of trying to get some help for a new family I’ve met whose youngest son has severe problems. Anyway, for some reason I read your post.<br>
I can’t imagine how hard going though this would be for you -- the mother.<br>
I have a different perspective to share that I thought might help. I used to have some painful tests done as a child because of some unusual internal stuff. Actually, mine started when I was under 2 years and continued until I was 12.<br>
I just wanted to tell you that my main memories from those days were going downtown with my mom afterwards – just the two of us (a really special treat for the oldest of 5 kids)! I would usually get to pick a toy and get a special lunch and my mom spent the whole day focused on just me.<br>
I don’t know if this helps and I’m not 100% sure that it’s true but, looking back now – as a mother myself, I think it was worse for my mom than it was for me.
 
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