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My 2.5 year old DS is dominating our lives!!!! Obviously that happens with children - but he is so negative - loud - screaming when he doesn't get what he wants - screaming if I stop him from doing something that could hurt him (I was holding him while putting bread in the toaster and he started to put his hand in the slot - I stepped back and said 'oh no that is hot' and he screamed and hit me and told me to shut-up-so I gently put him down and said 'we don't hit' and then cried for about 20 mins.)<br><br>
Now, granted he has chicken pox right now and we all have sore throats and I suspect that he has a sinus infection - and this is a bit stronger than his normal reaction - but not that much stronger.<br><br>
DH and I are constantly stressed by this child (we have an 8yo DD) - he's really physical and loud - he doesn't sleep very much - often refusing to go to sleep until 1:30AM - then waking at 7AM and napping from 1:30PM - 3:30PM.<br><br>
I am a SAHM and as a rule don't ever wake a sleeping baby - unless he's really getting into a routine of going down at 1:30 and then sleeping late - then I will wake him at 7AM so that he napps at 12:30ish up at 3ish...you get the idea.<br><br>
I am at my wits end - thinking I should just put him in day care a couple of days per week so I'm not so stressed all of the time.<br><br>
DH and I are not very regimented people - and I guess a really good routine is something we haven't tried - but honestly I think we are as 'routine' as we are able to be. (Not against any suggestions though.)<br><br>
Is this just terrible 2's? It was not like this with DD. DH and I are like zombies walking around the house - waiting for the next outburst - poor DD is often overlooked because so much attention is being paid to the screaming banshee.<br><br>
I'm exhausted mamas and am feeling very very lost. How is my little boy going to deal with life if he is constantly angry? Is there something wrong with him? Something wrong with me??<br><br>
Little help please?<br>
Thanks -
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I don't think there's anything wrong with either of you! It sounds like he has a bad case of the "terrible twos".<br><br>
I'm not sure how much my advice will help (after all, it's not like my dd is perfectly behaved all the time), but if I were you I would try a few things. First, it sounds like he's really not sleeping enough. I would work on his bedtime routine and even consider letting him sleep late. Maybe he could have a "quiet time" at night where he can play by himself, in a relaxed way, and go to sleep if he feels like it. We do this with dd in the afternoons - she will usually play for an hour or two happily; sometimes she naps and sometimes she doesn't. But since I'm not insisting that she sleep, and leave her room partially lit, let her have plenty of toys with her, it is something she will do willingly.<br><br>
If he has bad times and good times, I would try to figure out what causes his bad times - you could keep a journal of all his tantrums and what triggers them, what time of day and how long ago he ate, etc. and see if there is some link you haven't found yet that could be addressed. I did this with dd and realized that she was fussiest at certain times of day - particaularly right after her nap, while I was making dinner. She would be hungry and wanting attention, I would be busy cooking - it was a bad combination. So I moved her nap a bit so that I didn't get her up until dinner was ready, and we had a lot fewer tantrums.<br><br>
Also, make sure that you are not unconsciously reinforcing his behavior. If whining and screaming gets him what he wants, whether it's attention or something more physical, he will keep doing it. Conversely, if gentler methods don't get him what he wants he won't use them (I am guilty of this one - it is sometimes difficult to get my attention without a raised voice). I know from personal experience it can be hard not to rush to obey the yelling toddler, just to get the yelling to stop, but I've been working on requesting that dd use a "nice voice" or "use words" and we are slowly (very slowly) seeing some improvement (though sometimes her mood is just too fragile for me to do this).<br><br>
HTH. You must be exhausted!
 
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