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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Vent / plea for advice:<br><br>
My dd is 16 months old, and I am close to the end of my rope. Getting her to sleep, getting her to stay asleep and us getting enough sleep is consuming my brain. Things have always been rough. I'm sorry this is so long... but I do have a point in here somewhere. Last night, she went to sleep (magically early) at 9pm, woke at 12am, 12:30 am, 1am, then 4:45 am (we gave her some soymilk, hoping that would lull her back to sleep), but she has been up ever since. I even took a drive around 9, hoping that she'd conk out... no luck. All of these things have contributed to her sleep troubles, I think:<br><br>
- starting out, I had an undiagnosed thyroid condition, did not produce more than drops of breastmilk (yes, a truly medically diagnosed case of not enough milk), and she started formula. I have since been diagnosed with hypoplasic breasts (not enough duct tissue).<br><br>
- she was colicky for several months.<br><br>
- the gassiness of colic seemed to continue, to some extent for months and months. We've gone through so many gas drops and tried anything we could think of.<br><br>
- we tried and tried to get her to sleep with us (at least at the beginning of the night), but that was even worse. She sleeps in her crib. Please don't fault me, I swear we tried and tried and tried. I've only been able to get her to fall asleep in my arms (laying down) a handful of times. It's been very frustrating to not be able to comfort my dd to sleep.<br><br>
- it got a little better when she was getting less formula, and more bland foods (7 months or so). When her diet started getting more diverse (cheeses and such), it got worse. We always suspected a food link, but couldn't narrow it down.<br><br>
- then, the teething began. In the last 24 weeks, she has sprouted a tooth an average of every other week. She is a bear when they are cutting through, and it effects her sleep. I think this is effecting her sleep as well. Now, she's on her 4th molar, and she is nuts, knawing on everything; it must hurt her a lot.<br><br>
- finally, at 15 months, she was diagnosed with a milk allergy (also allergic to shellfish and peanuts). Nearly every day of her life, up to 15 months, she would awaken with screaming gas pains (3-5 times a night). Her tummy would get hard and distended, and she was often inconsolable. It is markedly better, but she still wakes a lot. By day, she is alright, I think because she is moving and passes the gas well.<br><br>
It kills me that I couldn't nurse her, because I'm convinced that we could've avoided these allergies... and/or I could nurse her to sleep... and/or she would fall asleep in my arms with greater ease. I am just sure that we wouldn't have all these problems now.<br><br>
At this point, she is an awful sleeper. I have to drive her in my car to get her to nap... my husband walks her in the stroller to get her to sleep... I'm 7 months pregnant and can't sling her anymore... she wakes an average of 3 times a night, and often wakes after only 8 hours of sleep. She wakes very grouchy, and I'm sure that she isn't getting enough sleep. It's just getting so hard, and I don't know what to do. She's a crank all day, and I'm <i>so tired</i>.<br><br>
Of course, I'm getting the usual crap from friends and family, that I'm coddling her, she's manipulating me, I should have trained her earlier, and I should just put her in her crib and let her cry... blah blah blah. Even though I'm desperate for more sleep, I will not.<br><br>
Do you think there is <i>any</i> hope that she'll get better at this, maybe when all the molars are in? Does anyone have any suggestions, or does your child seem to have this kind of screwy sleep?<br><br>
Is it possible that this kiddo is just one of those people who has weird sleep schedules, and I should just get over it? I keep thinking that it's my fault somehow, that I've fostered bad habits.<br><br>
Thanks so much for reading all of this. I appreciate your time.
 

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I am so sorry. i can tell that you are frustrated. and exhausted. Your feelings are normal. being sleep deprived and pregnant is no fun.<br><br>
My daughter was an awful sleeper. she did get better, at say 18 months. this just happened on its own, so i cant tell you something specific to try. i agree, her lack of solid sleep is probably affecting her mood. it affects ours, right? i started putting my 5 yr old to bed an hour earlier, and kept him out of big brothers room (who has the TV on), and voila! he's a much nicer kid, more easily redirected.<br><br>
About the teething, have you tried tylenol or motrin before bed time? i know medicating kids isnt big on MDC, but maybe if she took some of the pain and inflammation away, she would sleep more peaceful.<br><br>
About the breastfeeding....you have to let it go, now! to hang on to the fact that you couldnt nurse, that possibly you could have avoided allergies is a waste of your emotional energy, and right now, you need all that you can get. i am in now way minimizing or discouting your emotions in regards to not being able to nurse, but at this pint, and with real medical reasons for not being able to, there isnt one thing you can do right this minute!<br><br>
There are alot of moms here that will offer you support, and some solid advice. dont sweat the not co-sleeping. my daughter hated being in bed with us and slept like a lumberjack in her crib....but only with the door shut and light off! (this is when she finally did sleep). to this day, and she is now 16, she has to have the room completely dark, and door shut tight. my second son was the same way, only he was a better sleeper, and started much earlier! only my now 5 yr old loved cosleeping, and did it for years!
 

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I know that lack of sleep is difficult. I can relate.<br>
My oldest was a TERRIBLE sleeper. He would wake up almost every hour & a half for the first three years of life. I can't tell you how many times I held him, drove him or whatever to get him to sleep. He rarely slept longer than 2-3 hours at a stretch. It was exhausting.<br><br>
Then he turned 3 and suddenly, he slept 12 hours straight!<br><br>
It will get better -- I believe that. When? I don't know. It sounds like you've had quite a struggle so far. You must be a strong woman.<br><br>
Hang in there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
You ladies are so very very sweet.<br><br>
After having been through this, would you say that one should do whatever it takes to get them to sleep?<br><br>
(just got back from a blissful drive on the highway... our exit to the next and back... she's asleep)
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">About the breastfeeding....you have to let it go, now!</td>
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ITA and I've been telling her that for a year now!<br><br>
Just wanted to offer (((HUGS))) to you. Hang in there, this too shall pass.
 

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I really feel for you. I do believe that you should do whatever it takes for you both to get the rest you need, especially with a new baby on the way. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I too am guilty of drugging my child with Hylands Teething Tablets or tylenol/motrin during teething times. Really, I think it's a bit cruel not to. It HURTS some kids, and I know I can't sleep when I hurt. That has helped us.<br><br>
We too were giving 23 mos ds a bottle of milk (long since weaned) when he woke at night. It got ridiculous. He was wanting 2-3 8 oz bottles a night sometimes, and certainly doesn't need it. It was comforting for him to be held, rocked and given a bottle. We told him a few weeks ago that he isn't getting any more milk at night. He was pretty PO'ed the first couple nights that he didn't get any, and now is ok. He'll go to sleep again (in his crib- he won't sleep with us, and we really don't want him to anyway) if I pick him up, hug him, and tuck him back in.<br><br>
Is dd napping at all? Other than the car/stroller rides? I am able to sleep when he does, still, but I feel for you. I really don't have any suggestions there. It'll get better someday!!
 

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Hi! Our babes are of an age.............<br>
I bet you are beat. Hang in there! Someday when our kids our 16, we'll think back to this period of time and wonder if it ever really happened. Water under the bridge. Mine just slept through the night the past two nights.....this coming from a child who up to this point has only slept all the way through 3 other nights in her little lifetime. We're just about weaned, and I think that this has made the difference that I'm seeing this week in her sleep patterns; she's gaining independance and is learning to soothe herself. So anyway, I just wanted to say that breastfeeding doesn't make a babe easier to put to sleep, so please stop kicking yourself. And yeah, the teeth are probably keeping her up. Have you looked at the dental discussion board on this webiste? It's great.
 

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BananasMom<br>
I feel so sorry for you and your family. Please stop feeling guilty for not bfing. I hope that you'll keep up on looking into your dd's diet. Sometimes there are still other hidden allergies in a very allergic person. I wonder if she's still in pain from allergies or perhaps her sleep patterns are upset because of past pain. I can only imagine how you are coping. I went through a very depressed time when my twins were around10mo. They were so active in the day and didn't sleep at night. I can't believe how patient my dh was with my mood swings.<br>
I hope you are able to take naps with your dd. Please do so if you can; you need your rest and eat well.<br>
Maybe eliminating sugar from your dd's diet could help. You may even find a dietition helpful because she's so allergic and could be sensitive to foods, but you want her to have good nutrition and also be comfortable.<br>
I'm sorry to ramble, but I feel so sad for you and your family. This should be a joyful time with a new baby on the way and all. I wish I could help. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br>
~Amanda
 

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Just a note about the allergies--<br>
Ds 34mos (also not a great sleeper until a few months ago)<br>
Has a milk allergy and we bf'd for 2 1/2yrs- so don't worry about that part--You can't control everything. Also he rarely fell asleep nursing (the opposite of dd)and when he slept with us he usually pushed us out of bed and/or kicked dh where it really hurts every time!<br>
o.k. I know you're Bananasmom, but do you know that bananas can make you calmer? If I can't sleep myself I will grab one in the middle of the night. Maybe your dd would benefit from something like that.<br>
ITA with the Tylenol or Motrin or Hyland's teething tabs before bed. Ds would calm down with just the taste of it. He know that it would make him feel better and that relaxed him and helped him to sleep a little better.<br>
I know that the lack of sleep does a number on us. I'm not pg and it makes me moody and crabby as hell! I'm sending lots of<br>
{{{{{hugs}}}}} and letting you know that you can get through this. Can you get away, or at least have a friend come during the day so maybe you at least can get some much needed rest--even just one day a week? Or some help with anything else so that you can conserve what energy you have?<br>
Just my .02<br>
Kelso<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hippie.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hippie">
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'm sorry I didn't stop back to thank the other posters who responded about my daughter.<br><br>
Thank you so much!<br><br>
Just knowing that there are other families out there, with similar problems, helps me. I don't know why - misery loves company? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I figured that there were other mommies who have dealt with this, but nobody talks about this. It's like good sleep is the measure of a good parent in our society, so I'm sort of afraid to talk about this IRL.<br><br>
Her sleep habits still aren't any better, she's only slept through about 3 times ever, but we are dealing with it better. I told my husband the other night, "we have done everything we can, our only other choice is sleeping training (CIO)." That just isn't a choice that we will make, so we just keep plugging away at what we are doing now.<br><br>
There is one thing that lulls my babe to sleep, and that is TV. I am rolling my own eyes, can't believe that I do that. You'd think 40 minutes of being rocked in mommy's arms, a binky and a blankie would do it - but no. I don't mind the car rides, but we live in Pittsburgh, PA and the winter weather will be upon us soon. I can't keep that up. So, if we have to resort (a last resort, I must say) to a taped Dora program now and then, I'm not going to freak out. I think we have to do what we can do.<br><br>
Again, thanks so much for responding, sharing your advice and support. I really appreciate it!
 

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OT, but that's so interesting about bananas!<br><br>
We traveled overseas this summer and, while we were adjusting to the time change, we fed dd a banana several times when she woke in the middle of the night. We had no idea that they were soothing, but they did put her right back to sleep.<br><br>
peace, Beth
 
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