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Hi,

Some of you may remember me. Last year around this time I had a miscarriage. The fetus died at 12 weeks and I had a D&C at 16 weeks. In August I got pregnant again and had an early miscarriage at 5 weeks. I'm pregnant again, five weeks actually, I am feeling feeling very scared and paranoid.

I really want this baby but I feel sure that I'll miscarry. I'm so pesimisstic. I feel like I'll never have another child.

I did have a successful pregnancy with my child who is now three years old. It was a complication-free preganancy which makes these miscarriages very confusing for me. I feel cursed.

Becky
 

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I'm so sorry you feel this way.


It can be hard to get past losses. It can be hard to get past the fear. Sadly, there isn't much we can do. Worrying does nothing but make us sad. Fearing does nothing but rob us of feeling joy.

It is a hard place to be and here you can talk about your fear all you want. We all understand. We've all been there.
 

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Becky,

I wish there were some magic words that I could say to ease your fear. You're not cursed, your babies just came for as long as they needed to be here. One lesson I feel I'm learning as a parent is that our children have free will. Unfortunately they don't always consult us before making decisions we wouldn't agree with....and maybe they choose to leave before we're ready for them to be born.

I have always just tried to be grateful for my pregnancies and babies for as long as they were with me. My miscarriages also made no sense to me, so I didn't know what else to do.

I know subsequent pregancies can be so difficult...sometimes the fear can be overwhelming. So many mixed emotions to process. Please know that you're never alone and try as much as you can to experience the joy this new life has to share with you....for however long the baby is with you.

I'll be thinking of you and sending peaceful thoughts.
 
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