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Hubby and I are thinking of not finding out the gender this time. Problem is, I am SUCH a planner I have no clue how to plan for a surprise. I didn't know the gender of my first baby, not by choice, and I sucked it up and he wore a lot of yellow & green. I am not a big fan of yellow & green.<br><br>
Most of everything can wait until the baby is born to buy, but I will need some gender neutral clothes. How much did you get to last until you went shopping? DH and I plan on saving some money and just making a trip to the store to get pink or blue after s/he is born.<br><br>
I have a sling, I have NB diapers, I have breasts, I have blankets in pink and in blue. I will need a co-sleeper, a dresser, a car seat, and a swing. The first three can be gender neutral, the swing can wait. But what about my gift to the baby? My mom always makes a baby quilt, and I am thinking of knitting a baby blanket, but I am not a fan of neutral... do I make my mom wait? Do I knit two blankets and just give one to something like project linus? I am *still* working on DDs blanket and she is two, so I worry about the ability to make two. I did make DD a tie blanket, which is how I justify not being done with the knitted blanket and it is an easy pattern, but is a tight & time consuming pattern.<br><br>
So what advice would you give to me about waiting to find out the gender?
 

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We did not find out the gender for ds. I was really into having the experience that women have had for a 100,000 years and part of that was learning the gender when baby arrived.<br><br>
We aren't big fans of pink or pale blue, so for us it was a big plus that we weren't inundated with that stuff ahead of time (plenty of blue came later). My Mom knitted an adorable baby blanket with animals and letters on a white background. Clothes included prints with animals, bold stripes, and tie dye. There were also a few pink and blue things and that was okay with us.
 

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We didn't find out the sex with DS, but we will with this baby. I didn't find it a big deal to prepare for DS when I didn't know if I was having a boy or a girl. Lots of newborn clothes come in gender neutral colors/patterns. Neither DH or I have the patience to wait until the baby is born this time <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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We didn't find out with #3 or #4. It was fun. Kind of like opening a present that was sitting in front of you for months.<br><br>
Even though we already had a boy and a girl we had gotten rid of all of our baby stuff. We ended up just buying a handful of outfits until after the baby was born. With #4, he was 7 weeks early, we only had 2 preemie outfits for him (which were too big). We survived with only the 2 outfits for more than a month but we had to wash 1 while wearing the other. We also used just plain white bodysuits.<br><br>
FYI, babies don't care what color they are wearing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SumnerRain</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15385599"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My mom always makes a baby quilt, and I am thinking of knitting a baby blanket, but I am not a fan of neutral... So what advice would you give to me about waiting to find out the gender?</div>
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I would go for something other than standard pastel baby colors then you won't be stuck with such a limited choice of colors.
 

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We found out with #1, but the rest have been surprises. Honestly, I much prefer the surprise. I think it adds a special extra element to the experience. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
It's never mattered much to me what my babies wear when they're tiny, so gender-neutral, or pink on boys or blue on girls is a-ok with me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I have found out with all 3 so far and will this time too. I'm not really fond of surprises and it is a big enough one at 18 or 20 weeks. I just CANNOT wait. LOL
 

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Maybe I will go with cream and brown for my colors and then after the baby is born we can do a lilac color for a girl, or turquoise for a boy. That way the bulk of the quilt & the blanket I knit can get finished in the prgnancy, and after birth we can add a gender specific color for the edging if desired.
 

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I am pg with my 3rd (sticky vibes!) and with my 1st, we wanted a surprise, but then caved, but her legs were crossed, and still got to find out when she was born.<br><br>
Then the second child, we wanted to know, so we'd know whether all the clothes we still had were fine, or whether we'd need anything. We found out he was a boy, early, and that was good too.<br><br>
This time, we want a surprise, and I think not knowing will be much more bearable than it was that 1st time.<br><br>
I have learned to buy good-quality boots, snowpants, coats, etc in colors and styles that are just kid, not the usual pink-and-purple for girls, so they can be passed from DD to DS to now, the little bean.<br><br>
But for baby clothes, it's nice to have a few things that are gender-specific, and I agree, with my 1st, I got awfully tired of yellow. One nice way around that is to consider all pretty bright colors good, and try to find things that arent' just exclusively boy or girl. Also, certain things like white cotton newborn shirts, buntings, etc, are genderless and usually white. You can also get them in prints, like little giraffes and elephants, frogs, etc. so they can be cute without being so stereotyped. I bought a blue blanket with a cute orange lion on it when pg with #1, and loved it for her as a girl also.<br><br>
It surprises some people to learn that before WWII, pink was for boys and blue was for girls. Pink was considered light red, and red was considered a masculine color, and blue a pretty, feminine color.<br><br>
There are plenty of cute things that are neither pink-and-purple, or all-blue with sports themes, out there. I have seen chocolate brown with multicolored pastel spots, rainbow colors, etc, as a nice alternative to the boredom of "everything green and yellow".<br>
I totally got sick of yellow and green that first time, and completely sympathize!
 

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Found out with my first, wasn't going to find out with the second, then found out at 23 weeks it was twins and felt like that was all the surprise I could handle at that time and had no boy stuff, but it turned out to be girls so no prob there. Did not find out with #4 and it was awesome. Loved it and felt like it gave me some incentive during labor and I had the best birth of all 3 so far! Not finding out with this baby. The only reason I might consider is if it turned out to be twins again. (I still don't have any boy stuff!) With two I would want to be a little more prepared for the first year because I know from experience how hard it is to get anything done once they're born. But with a singleton I have enough to get by for a while.
 

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I didn't find out with either of my girls, and I would prefer not to find out this time either, but the mister and I are still in negotiations. I'm not a real pink or baby blue kind of person, though. I tend to gravitate toward yellow/green/red/brown/navy for my girls. I don't have ANY baby stuff left, as we weren't planning on having a third child, so anything I buy or knit will be neutral colours.<br><br>
I think it's a fun surprise, waiting until the birth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Well I had my sons in 1977 and 1980 and ultra sounds were only for high risk , etc. So I never had one. Ultrasounds were just coming on board at that time. They were very expensive and used at a last resort. This was also a time, well where I lived epidurals, and interventions were also a last resort, as were pain meds, etc. I gave birth naturally, no meds, etc. and my sons, were both surprises, and to look back at it now, I would not have done anything differently! It is that since of wonder and awe, about what you are going to have! It was so much fun, everyone who was predicting what you were going to have! Now everything is so invasive. Back then you could labor as long as needed, no pictocin, ruputuring of membranes, seems now every thing is a rush as far as labor is concerned. Sorry for my rambling, please forgive this grandmother!
 

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I hear ya, LVale,<br>
I call what they do in standard practice in hospitals now, "Feedlot Birth" because they want you to sit down, shut up, take your pitocin and your epidural, and if it isn't out in 8 hours (sometimes far less) you are to be overjoyed that you will be whisked away for a quick convenient (for them!) cesarean! Then you can kiss your chances of VBAC goodbye thereafter, unless you are very lucky, or planning a homebirth.<br><br>
It's all about maximum number of units processed in minimum time, with as little staff as possible, and that means that waiting around for a woman to labor naturally is something that they will not do willingly. Way more money in cesareans and NICU stays anyway, and once you get that first cesarean in, you almost guarantee the gravy train keeps rolling, since most women don't then go for HBAC, or in many states now, can't legally have a midwife attend an HBAC, and many hospitals are attempting to claim they have the right to BAN VBAC! So they get you coming and going.<br><br>
I am lucky not to live in a state where they have aggressively protected their market by pushing homebirth midwives nearly out of practice... I had an HBAC last time and never looked back.<br><br>
But the cesarean and high-intervention, induced and epiduraled labor cash cow need slaughtering, in my opinion. It puts more jingle in hospitals' pockets at the price of higher risk and higher infant and maternal morbidity, yet there are doctors out there today who would actually like to see vaginal birth made illegal, and who compare it to riding a motorcycle without a helmet.<br><br>
Scary times, hopefully the strong grassroots movements to protect birth choice and women's rights to medical and bodily autonomy will overcome all this nonsense before it's too late. The establishment won't take it lying down though, and the hit dog is howling, launching anti-midwife legislation and propoganda right and left. If good people do nothing, I fear for my daughter, and whether she will come of age in a world where onc she is pregnant, she will have no say over her own bodily functions, and the State, instead, will dictate to her what she may and may not do, "in the interest of the Child".
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SumnerRain</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387500"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Maybe I will go with cream and brown for my colors and then after the baby is born we can do a lilac color for a girl, or turquoise for a boy. That way the bulk of the quilt & the blanket I knit can get finished in the prgnancy, and after birth we can add a gender specific color for the edging if desired.</div>
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Awesome idea! I love browns for boys and girls. I was thinking of brown and lilac for a girl if that's what we have. I found out with ds1 and swore I wouldn't find out with #2. it was WAY too tempting for me, so I found out, and since I've had two boys and have all boyish stuff, I will find out for this one as well, so I can do yard saling this summer if it's a girl. I also like to hit sales racks ahead of time to stock up, so for me, it's too much to not find out! Good luck if you decide not to find out!
 

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We didnt find out at all with #1 (girl) and with #2 we said we didnt want to know either...during the u/s as the dr put the jelly and the u/s wand on my belly, it happened that the first image that came up, was of between baby's legs. So we "thought" we were having a boy, as it seemed pretty obvious...but we didnt have it confirmed. And we kept it a secret through the pregnancy. He was indeed a boy! #3, this time, we're not finding out again. We love it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lmevans</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15394744"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We didnt find out at all with #1 (girl) and with #2 we said we didnt want to know either...during the u/s as the dr put the jelly and the u/s wand on my belly, it happened that the first image that came up, was of between baby's legs. So we "thought" we were having a boy, as it seemed pretty obvious...but we didnt have it confirmed. And we kept it a secret through the pregnancy. He was indeed a boy! #3, this time, we're not finding out again. We love it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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LOL That is what happened to my sister, her son was just SO proud to show off his parts that he ruined the surprise.
 

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we have never found out before the birth and i think it is exciting. Once you have not found out the sex before the birth you already have enough gender neutral clothes to get by until you can grab some more specific things.
 

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I didn't find out with my first and won't with this one either. The only drawback for us is that when we checked the gender at birth, I was completely shocked, I thought I was carrying a boy, and even though I remember being blissfully ecstatic upon discovering she was a she, my voice on the birth video sounds disappointed. I wasn't disappointed, but it sounds like I was, and I hope it doesn't give my DD a complex when she is older. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Ahhhh! You all are making me not want to find out!!! My dd, who is 4, will KILL me if we don't find out. I'm thinking we should find out bc she is so in love with the idea of having a sister. If it's a boy, I think a few months of prep for her would be crucial. Or not...? Definitely something to think about!!
 

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I am really started to get excited about the prospect of not finding out now! The hardest part is going to be to not peek during the 20 week anatomy scan!
 
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