[desertgirl351]

In 2 weeks we will be traveling to visit dh's family for a few days. MIL is very excited to see dd, who just turned 3 months. However, dd has just started being very attached to me. She screams murder whenever anyone else tries to hold her. Usually I don't mind, as I love holding her. But I was really hoping to be able to get some me time, as I haven't had any since we last saw MIL when dd was 4 weeks.

: Dh doesn't help out with dd, but that is another discussion. Is there anything that might help dd accept MIL for a few hours? I know it would help me feel so much better to have a little me time.
Thanks!

 

[~Shanna~]

I don't have any living children of my own, but I do remember when my dear nephew was young, his mama was really careful to give him vibes that the person who was about to take him was a great person to have hold you. She would always make sure to smile, relax her body muscles and do anything that would help convey to him that this was a good person to be with. He was a more mild-tempered kid than I think is average, so I'm not sure if the method worked or if he was just usually ambivalent

I also wonder if methods that have MIL gradually holding her (first have MIL sit really close to you while you hold her, have DD face MIL while you hold her, have MIL hold her for increasing periods of time) might help - this is purely theoretical, I've never seen anyone do this.

I wanted to give you a big

for working on this though. My DH and I are godparents to a little girl who hated being even looked at by anyone but her mom for a long time. It has been tough on our ability to bond with her, in part because the mom seemed kind of relieved that her daughter only wanted her. Your effort will go a long way towards their relationship, even if she still just wants her mama for a while.

 

[dawncayden]

I'd say take it slow. Whenever MIL holds dd, always be in sight, so dd is comfortable.
Maybe play a bit of peek a boo, so she see's you go away for a second then come right back.
My ds doesn't always feel comfortable in FIL's arms...so I do things beside him that he likes, like sing a song (fil will join in if we sing Old Macdonald), or tickle him or just make silly faces.

Dawn

 

[Hollin]

I agree with getting to know MIL slowly. My baby didn't get mama-attached until around 4 months, but I find if he can see me while he is being held by someone else it's much worse. If I'm out of eyesight he usually fusses for a minute or two and then calms down. If he can see me he won't stop crying until he's back in my arms.

 

[desertgirl351]

Thanks for the replies. DD is always the little charmer when I'm holding her. She smiles and talks to everyone. I will try to go slow and hope it works out. Her grandma just loves her.

 

[forest~mama]

Babies can really pick up on the other person's energy. My MIL thinks my dd spends to much time with me, and my dd picks up on this. My dd cries every time MIL tries to hold her, but not with other people. I think it can really depend on the person.