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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'd been putting off calling her for a while. I'm not sure why I do that. She's nice and supposedly doing well with her new baby (whew.) I got a message from Chris's sister's mother telling me to give T a call.<br><br>
It seems that his birth mother has cervical cancer. We're not exactly sure if it's just a possibility or if she's been diagnosed but according to his maternal grandmother it's stage 3. Which, if it's true, would be horrible. She's got a four-month-old baby.<br><br>
We're going to go see T and the baby tomorrow morning. I'm sure the visit will go well. Chris likes seeing her, although he doesn't appear to remember her as his mother. She knows the adoption finalized so I don't have to worry about telling her.
 

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Good luck - whenever I get nervous (which is strange, as we have NEVER had a bad visit, I don't know what I start thinking), it turns out fine anyway. That's so sad about his birthmom - sad about anyone, really.
 

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We're going to go on Saturday, instead so Grandma can be there, too. She wanted to raise her grandkids but realized that she couldn't.<br><br>
She might be able to give me some more answers. I want to know what's really going on. It's hard to know, based on past experiences.
 

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We went yesterday. Chris was so excited about going to Grandma's house. He had packed his backpack and hung it on the door knob. As soon as he woke up, he put on his backpack and wasn't thrilled that we weren't going anywhere at 6 AM.<br><br>
It turned out that Grandma ended up having to go to work so it was just us and T with baby S. It was a good visit. T really seems to be doing fine with the new baby, which is such a relief. She's on formula now, but with her health concerns and prior parenting history, I'm not worried. I'm so glad that she can be the mom to this new baby that she couldn't be to the older three. So far, so good. The baby sleeps through the night so that's a big help. Chris did a lot of playing with toys (and watching a little tv) while we were there. I think it was strange to be there and not have the whole focus on him (and his little sister if she was there.) The baby adds a whole new dimension to their relationship.<br><br>
T says that she has an appointment with an oncologist in two weeks. She really doesn't look well, although that could just be exhaustion from having a four-month-old baby. I know she had said before that the doctor was concerned during her pregnancy. I really hope it's not cancer, and if it is, that it's not stage four. I want her to have another chance to parent and for C, B, and hopefully big sister A to grow up knowing her.<br><br>
I know I should be getting past this but it still bugs me when she refers to herself as Mommy and me as Mommy Beth. I know our relationship but it still hurts a little. Especially when he accidently calls her Mama (which I can tell by his reaction is a mistake) or if he calls me Mama or Mommy and she thinks he's really calling her that.<br><br>
I do feel lucky that he has the opportunity to spend time with his birth mother, grandmother, and sometimes his uncle and his family. It's awkward sometimes, but in the end it's worth it.<br><br>
His younger sister's birthday/adoption party is on Tuesday, ten days before Chris's. If things had unfolded a little differently, I would have adopted her too, but things have worked out great the way it did.<br><br>
I guess we're lucky.
 
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