Wait, where did his sex drive go?

546 Views 6 Replies 6 Participants Last post by Verity, Jun 2, 2005

KermitMissesJim

Discussion Starter · May 31, 2005

Dh and I have always had differing sex drives--his being much higher than mine. About 3 weeks ago, he says it's changed. Shortly after that, he had an unknown episode with his heart (they aren't really sure what happened, but it was not a heart attack). His drive has not returned. He is 27, eats OK (not great), works out several times a week, and is not cheating on me.

I know the drive goes down eventually (well, that's what I've heard).

So, when did your partner's drive decrease, or did it? I am pg right now, and I never got that 2nd trimester horndog phase with this pg, sadly. I guess if I had it I'd be pretty frustrated right now. :LOL

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velcromom

· #2 · May 31, 2005

I'd ask his dr about it, what is worrisome is a sudden major change in such a young man. Especially since he just had a cardiac event of unknown nature, who knows what effects that may have on his system.

Maybe it's totally unrelated but it's worth asking about.

I think a normal decrease in libido doesn't usually happen for men til they are much older than 27. My dh is almost 40 and while he is not exactly the same as he was seven years ago when we met, he is still extremely interested.

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allgirls

· #3 · May 31, 2005

Is it possible that the episode with his heart didn't just scare it away? Maybe he's afraid to exert himself that way and that stress is keeping his libido away...stress can certainly affect libido.

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LoveChild421

· #4 · May 31, 2005

I would definately talk with his Dr. about it and make sure the doc doesn't dismiss it- that radical of a change coupled with a heart problem seems alarming- maybe he is having circulatory problems still and needs further treatment- many men can't get an erection or don't get aroused as easily if they are having issues with circulation. Doesn't just seem like a change in hormones kind of thing to me- is he on any meds? maybe it is a side effect?

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OnTheFence

· #5 · May 31, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by KermitMissesJim
Dh and I have always had differing sex drives--his being much higher than mine. About 3 weeks ago, he says it's changed. Shortly after that, he had an unknown episode with his heart (they aren't really sure what happened, but it was not a heart attack). His drive has not returned. He is 27, eats OK (not great), works out several times a week, and is not cheating on me.

I know the drive goes down eventually (well, that's what I've heard).

So, when did your partner's drive decrease, or did it? I am pg right now, and I never got that 2nd trimester horndog phase with this pg, sadly. I guess if I had it I'd be pretty frustrated right now. :LOL

I think your husband needs a work up and have his testerone levels checkes. My husband had a testicular cancer scare last fall. (we celebrated that he didn't and the reward will be here in 3 weeks) During that time I read more about mens health than I ever cared too. A sudden decrease in sex drive can mean that his testerone levels have dropped, it can also be caused by stress or his heart problem that he recently had. Depression could also be the cause.

While my DHs sex drive has decreased through the years (mine hasn't) its not been overly dramatic. However one of my BIL has nearly died and it started in his late 20s. However his testerone levels are low. Very low.

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KermitMissesJim

Discussion Starter · #6 · Jun 1, 2005

Thanks, mommas!

He has a follow-up appointment today, to discuss all the results of his testing. We will be addressing his sleep apnea at this appointment, and I will bring up the decreased drive as well (if he doesn't, which he probably will not). He is not currently on meds. He just finished the most stressful semester of school last month, so maybe this is all delayed reaction, who knows?

I feel like an idiot because part of me used to wish his drive would decrease just a *little*, and now that it has, I'm all freaked out.

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Verity

· #7 · Jun 2, 2005

I often wonder if there is an age at which it is normal for a man's sex drive to decrease noticeably. I read about elderly couples who still have sex, but I tend to believe that's the exception, not the norm. In other words, I think it's normal at some point to have a much-decreased interest in and desire for sex. Still, I don't know what "normal" is in this area, for women or for men. We read so much about how sex should be "for life," but I tend to believe that's not what nature intended, that it's just marketing (for things such as Viagra, hormone creams, etc.) at work.

None of that addresses the OP's situation, though. I think it may have something to do with getting a little bit older, but I tend to agree with pps that it might stress-related.

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