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There are lots of topics here about the waiting that happens when you're trying to conceive but all I'm doing right now is waiting to conceive in the first place! My wife and I want to make sure we're more established financially before we conceive--she's a library technician and I'm a teacher, so we don't get much in the way of income, plus we're spending 40% of our monthly income on debt, so there isn't much room right now for paying for all the things babies come with. Plus we both have educational and career goals that we'd like to begin work towards, so we decided we'd try to start conceiving in summer 2017. This is all well and fine, but we've both had baby fever at about 140 farenheit since we were teens, and now we're both older than our mothers were when they had us. (We're not that old, though--we're 26.) I'm spending as much time as I can hanging out with friends who have babies and doing babysitting, and of course I spend every day with a group of fantastic third graders, but I want my own! The waiting is so hard. :( I'm not asking any questions, just venting, although I'd love to hear from people who have been in similar situations.
 

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I hear you! I feel like this whole process is waiting, and it doesn't stop. There's actually a lot you can do now as you wait. I spent about a year before we started getting as healthy as possible, boosting my fertility, and charting. I got to know my cycle really really well in that year so that when it came time to try, we could nail the timing. Timing is still incredibly hard, but knowing when you ovulate helps so much. (Knowing within hours, not just what day) I recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertilty, and also The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth


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I sure know what that's like! I started really, really wanting a kid when I was about 28 or 29. Now I'm 34 and there's finally one on the way! But it felt like a heck of a long time between then and now, especially because at first my wife wasn't sure if she actually wanted to have kids. To help with my impatience, I bought a TON of queer parenting books (mostly memoirs, both humorous and serious, but also some how-to guides and even some fiction), and I started a Tumblr where I could vent about all my parenting feels without getting them all over my wife. It helped a lot, and now we're finally where I wanted to be all those years ago! It feels kind of miraculous. So hang in there, and please always feel free to vent to us! Best of luck to you!
 

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@Magsbee and @potoo have great suggestions. Assuming that you're hoping to have a child through pregnancy, charting your cycle is super important, and the more data the better, so definitely get started now. Some other stuff you could get started on--- budgeting and saving money, learning about birth and breastfeeding and parenting if that's your route, stockpiling vacation days if your jobs allow you to rollover from year to year. researching the parental leave policies at your jobs and possibly even changing jobs if you find something with better benefits.
 

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There is also a Wanting but Waiting thread in the Fertility Forum that you could join if you would like to talk with other people who are waiting. Good luck with everything! There may never be a perfect time to have a child, but they are expensive so it's good to have some of your ducks in a row.
 
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