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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm sure this has been discussed before... But I'm way too tired to even search. (Does that tell you anything about last night? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) DS has always been an early riser, which I'm OK with. Well, he started off waking up around 8, then 7, then 6, then 5:30. 5:30 is my limit though. I'm pregnant and insomniac and am lucky to get two hours of sleep a night, and I'm in bed by 7 pm! But now he's starting to get up at about 4 am, and last night, 3:45. It's impossible to get him back to sleep because he will scream, loudly, not from being upset but for fun. (Yeah, some fun!)<br><br>
I always used to put him in the other room in the mornings for private crib time but I don't want to "train" him that it's OK to go to have crib time in the middle of the night. But I can't let him sit next to me either because he will just scream and laugh his head off for hours. He is wide awake and nothing will soothe him back until he decides it's time, a few hours later. And in the day he naps in 10 min cat naps, always has, so I can't get any sleep then either.<br><br>
DH is already very angry and since he is starting school next week baby and I are being evicted so he can get sleep. We have to go to my mom's house where DS and I will be sharing a bed, and there won't be another room to put him in for crib time either. And since I am pg I NEED more sleep. I'm at the end of my rope, and I don't have anyone to hand him off to, never have since he was born. (DH doesn't get up with him, not even my mother will be a help as she sleeps until noon and thus is no help in the early morning hours.) I am exhausted.<br><br>
What do I do? I've tried putting him in the other room, letting him scream by me, ignoring him, petting him, trying to rock him... nothing. When he's awake he wants to play... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I really don't know what to tell you but I hope somebody else does. My first reaction is to say that your dh needs to be a little more understanding and step in. I can't imagine going through that while pg. I hope things get better for you soon.
 

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How old is your ds?
 

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um, your DH is "evicting" you to another house? that's rather drastic.<br><br>
sounds to me like you need to have a come-to-jesus talk with your DH about nighttime parenting. you can't be the only one to do this, especially while pg. the fact that you say you've never had help since your babe was born pretty much says it all <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
my DH gets up with DD every morning that she wakes up before 7. i simply made a "rule" that i don't get up before that time, and he is cool with it. probably because i turn into a roaring insane person when i don't get enough sleep--you could try acting horrible when you're sleep-deprived, so that anything, even getting up at 4 am, is better than living with you on no sleep <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>readytobedone</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9027472"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">um, your DH is "evicting" you to another house? that's rather drastic</div>
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I'm also confused by this.<br><br>
this NYT article is interesting though.<br><br><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/19/opinion/19ekirch.html?ex=1188446400&en=4e43ae246cea6651&ei=5070" target="_blank">http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/19/op...ea6651&ei=5070</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
DS is 5 months (not time for molars yet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> ).<br><br>
And I was sort of joking about being evicted, but it's true that we are going away for a few weeks so DH can get into the routine of a new school. He can't get up at night, not because he's lazy, but because he's on PTSD medications that make him basically pass out. When he gets up at night he's basically sleep-walking. He won't remember what happened at night, and he's not even very steady on his feet, so I totally wouldn't want him caring for the baby at all. It's not an option to have him stop taking his medications.<br><br>
It sucks, it really does, and I'm basically a single mother 24 hours a day, who has a roommate (who is technically my husband) but no family or friends around for support. Functional marriage, right? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Seriously, he's a great guy, loving and faithful and supportive, but he has serious stress issues. BUT... you take the good and bad together. I've accepted that I have no help, and I'm going to have TWO babies and no help, but... you do what ya gotta do, and I'm sure ONE DAY it'll be better. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
OK I ramble. I just felt for some reason like I had to defend my DH because I guess I was making him seem like a lazy (*#&$.
 

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ARe you exclusively breasfeeding? If so, please think whats going into mamas milk that might be giving him a bit more energy. Also, some babies(my son was one of these babies) have to have it really really dark to switch off. My son slept in PITCH black until he was about 2, because he would be over stimulated by everything and couldnt relax. Once he woke at say 3, he could see *fun* things to do, but if it was dark, he couldnt and he would go back to sleep.,
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Hmm... we do have a nightlight, more for me than him. (I like to know where I'm stepping when I'm hauling my pregnant behind out of the foot of the bed and navigate to the door every few mins for pee sessions! (DH on one side and co-sleeper on other.) But maybe I'll try going without it tonight - if ya'll don't see me tomorrow you'll know a dire accident happened in the night! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
That was an interesting article too, btw (just saw the link above) and unfortunately we don't BF <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> so the caffeine isn't an issue...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>truemists</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9019639"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm pregnant and insomniac and am lucky to get two hours of sleep a night, and I'm in bed by 7 pm! But now he's starting to get up at about 4 am, and last night, 3:45. It's impossible to get him back to sleep because he will scream, loudly, not from being upset but for fun. (Yeah, some fun!) :</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>truemists</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9019639"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And in the day he naps in 10 min cat naps, always has, so I can't get any sleep then either.<br></div>
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Are you really in bed by 7 pm? What time is your ds going to bed? I assume it must be 7 pm or even earlier. You don't mention his waking repeatedly, so I guess he is sleeping from around 7 pm to around 4 am? That would be a 9 hour stretch and it sounds to me like that is all he needs for the night time sleep right now. I would suggest making his bedtime later. Maybe your dh could take him from 7-9pm before dh goes to sleep and you could go to sleep earlier? Or maybe you could go to sleep later and maybe end up with more restful sleep if that helps your insomnia and ds wakes up correspondingly later?<br><br>
How many of those 10 min cat naps is he taking and how late is the last one? If ds is taking more than 3 naps I would try to reduce the number of naps by (gently) encourgaging him to stay awake for a longer stretch inbetween naps. This might help him to gradually take fewer, longer naps. If he is used to sleeping for longer periods during the day, that might help him stay asleep into the morning too.<br><br>
Also, I second what some PP's said about making sure the room is really dark in the morning. My dd went through a period where she woke up really early and getting black-out shades helped some. Finally, my daughter was very sensitive to temperature changes. If the room got either too warm or too cold in the morning she would wake up. It took some experimentation with a programmable thermostat to find a temperature pattern that was best for her sleeping.<br><br>
I hope some of this helps. Sleep deprivation is awful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
Good luck! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Adele_Mommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9035612"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are you really in bed by 7 pm? What time is your ds going to bed? I assume it must be 7 pm or even earlier. You don't mention his waking repeatedly, so I guess he is sleeping from around 7 pm to around 4 am? That would be a 9 hour stretch and it sounds to me like that is all he needs for the night time sleep right now. I would suggest making his bedtime later. Maybe your dh could take him from 7-9pm before dh goes to sleep and you could go to sleep earlier? Or maybe you could go to sleep later and maybe end up with more restful sleep if that helps your insomnia and ds wakes up correspondingly later?</div>
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We start our bedtime routine at about 6:45, and he's 85% of the time fast asleep by 7 pm. And yup, I am too! (I have to stay there anyway because he has a few night terrors before he settles into deep sleep, but he barely wakes up for those as long as I pick him up.) I usually read a chapter of a book to wind down and then turn off the lights and listen to a meditational CD. He then sleeps soundly until midnight (usually on the dot) at which point he wakes up for a midnight snack and then he goes back to sleep immediately - until he wakes up.<br><br>
I love, love, love the idea of making his bedtime a little later, but the problem with that is that if I try (I've wondered how!!) delaying it by even 15 minutes, he gets SO upset and cranky that he won't wind down for another two-three hours of SCREAMING. I put his bedtime at 7 pm right from the start, and from about 2-3 weeks of age he has been programmed (ha) to expect sleep then. Even if I try to transition him past the magic 7 pm via soothing baths etc it's like a switch goes off and he turns into Mr. Grumpy. I've tried more naps, less naps, etc during the day, all to no avail... I just can't seem to move his bedtime... Do you have any tips??<br><br>
He used to be really spontaneous with naps but usually now he only naps once in the morning for about half an hour (or if we're in the car running errands) in the morning, a longer nap in the afternoon (this is a new development, maybe a good one?) and usually a catnap at around 5:30 or so, but he doesn't take this one every day. Then sometimes he dozes off nursing in my arms, but never for long.<br><br>
Thanks for the replies everyone!!
 

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Ok, if he is drinking formula, is he on any solids? It may be what he is eating making him wake up. Also, no, keep his bed time early. I found that the later I tried to put ds to bed, the more overtired he became and would scream the house down trying to sleep. Also he woke up more times in the night when I did this. Have you tried a sleepsack? I swear by them.
 

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i have no advice, but i wanted to chime in because i think we are living parallel lives (my DD got up at 3:15!! and my DH is on likewise meds so i feel like a single mother too. and i keep telling myself it has to get better one of these days right...). i am sooo tired... hugs!
 

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It actually sounds like he is overtired from not enough naps, not that he's slept enough from 7-4.<br><br>
This may sound nuts, but what if you put him down a little earlier than that, based on the "sleep begets sleep" theory?
 

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Have you tried switching formula? And if he's getting solids, you might try stopping them for a while (5 months is really too young IMO). Night terrors/nightmares, especially in a baby that young, can be a sign of food allergies/intolerances.
 

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Yeah, I agree with the previous poster about trying to put him down earlier and make sure he has quality naps during the day after no more than 2 hours of wakefulness. I tried this and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY, when I can get DS to take his naps. He still gets up at 5am, but that's because he has to poop... Sheesh, it's always something.
 
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