I've never posted in this forum before, so I hope this okay.
Up until recently, my diet was terrible--no fruit or veggies, lots of sugar, lots of junk. I'm need to lose weight. I had a lousy response to an IVF attempt and also read a book about improving brain performance and preventing Alzheimers (it runs in my family) so I decided it was time to make some serious changes.
I completely overhauled my diet. Organic, preservative-free, whole foods, lots of F&V, no trans-fat, low sugar, no caffeine, no junk. And when I follow it, I feel great! I dropped about 10 pounds the first two weeks (don't want to keep up that pace, of course!). Now I actually crave apples and sweet potatoes!
Here's the strange part--I can resist most of my 'old' foods with no problems, or eat just a little bit, like have just a little piece of chocolate and let the rest sit out so long that it goes stale. But a part of me WANTS to want the junk food. I don't want it, don't even like the stuff that much anymore, but I feel like I WANT to make myself eat the bad stuff, not the good. It's hard to explain.
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Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like there are two people inside battling for dominance! This feels different than self-sabotage.