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...my DH doesn't agree that it's what is best for our child -- he's concerned about the "social issue", even though we have good friends who homeschool their kids (6 + 4 y.o.) -- and these kids are AWESOME (of course.) They handle themselves well in any social situation, no matter what age the group is, and yet he still thinks our kid will be better socialized by sending him to school.

I am a former elementary public school teacher with an M. Ed. in Special Education, so he knows I can educate our son better than anyone, but he still thinks it's the wrong thing to do. And because of my experience in the school system, I feel even more strongly that homeschooling is what I want for my child.

Luckily, DS is only 21 months old, so I have time to work on DH. Also, DH has agreed to keep DS out of preschool -- DH never went, and he thinks he's none the worse for it (he also sees it as a way of saving $15 grand!) I am hoping that by providing ample opportunities for socialization during the preschool years, along with DS's incredible aptitude for learning, DH will turn his view around and realize what's best for our child.

I guess my question is that if any of you have had to deal with the same kind of situation, what were some of the things that helped your partner see how amazing homeschooling can be?

Thanks for your advice...
 

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There is a list of resources to help reluctant husbands here .

A few books suggested - The Well Adjusted Child and Family Matters - are often good places to start. Dumbing Us Down by Gatto is a great book but it might be a bit too powerful as an initial read imo.

I don't think it is uncommon for mothers to be the ones nudging (or pushing and dragging
) their husbands towards homeschooling. Often approaching it as one year at a time helps. Getting to know homeschoolers including the Dads, getting involved in a local support group and starting to attend homeschooling activities can offset the socializing/socialization question.

I know of one woman who, when she reached a standstill with her husband, told him that she had thoroughly researched the options and was ready to sit down and discuss it as soon as he had put equivalent effort into really learning about what he was objecting to. The research is usually enough to tip the balance towards homeschooling assuming there aren't other issues at play.

good luck
Karen
 

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My husband has said many times that he worries our kids will become "homeschool geeks." He grew up in an area where homeschooling wasn't popular at all. I also grew up in an area where it wasn't done. (But I was in Massachusetts where we're pretty liberal in thought so I didn't think there was anything wrong with it despite having no experience with it). I'm a former public school teacher. I had my certification in K-8 multi-subjects and high school math.

I pointed out what DS was learning on his own. DS is an active kid and wasn't able to sit through being read one story until 4. He turned 5 a few months ago and has now started reading on his own. (We have a bunch of books with mostly three letter words that he can sound out). I went on-line and looked up my state's curriculum standards for kindergarten. DS had already covered them all despite no formal teaching. I got a book out of the library. I can't remember the name but it was about homeschooling. Some of the examples were out of DH's comfort zone and probably mine. But other examples of unschooling made perfect sense. I'm a SAHM, so it makes no difference financially if DS goes to public elem this year or stays home with me. Also, I don't have to document a thing until the first grade year.

So, I told DH that we'd do it on a trial basis. We're figuring it out as we go along. Right now, it's working for us. I do have an unschooling approach, though I wouldn't call myself a "radical" unschooler. We will adapt our style as needed as we go along. My kids may end up in public or private school at some point. (But not for elem or middle. I feel it's a waste of money that could be saved for college in those grades).

As for socialization, my DH sees how our kids interact with others when we're at the park, or the zoo, or a fast food playland, etc. He sees that our son is much more advanced socially than most of the other kids we come across. We both notice that our son does much better socially with older kids and adults than we ever did as kids too. (Our daughter is only 2 so it's still a bit soon to compare her socially with kids who had pre-k!)
 

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It may be helpful to understand exactly what your husband means by "socialization".

Does he feel homeschool will turn the kids into "nerds" (with weird interests that will make them stick out like sore thumbs in the cool crowd)?

Or is he mainly worried the kids won't learn basic social skills, like saying please and thank you and navigating social situations with ease?

Or perhaps he is really worried about how other people will view the children. "What will other people think?" or "Will our kids get bullied b/c they are "different"?" can be a big concern for a protective dad.

Some dads are nervous about homeschooling their own kids as it is not the norm in their family, and Dad worries about what his own parents or siblings will say.

And sometimes the socialization issues boils down to wondering how he will be a part of the whole thing. How will he interact with his kids when they are being raised much differently that he was? Homeschooling can throw people off when it seems really foreign.

I have friends whose husbands' concerns are similar to each of these to one degree or another. One thing that really helped the husband of one of my friends was going to a home school group activity and seeing the kids there and talking with the families, especially the other dads. Her husband could see what the families were like and that they didn't have two heads a piece
 

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Another thing you can do is find your local home/un schooling group and take a visit with your husband! Seeing all those wonderful families should do the trick
 

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Uggh, my DH is the same way. I'm really wanting to HS my DD this year, and he thinks she'll be 'weird'. School starts in 2 1/2 weeks, and I'm really hoping to convince him by the end of this week. LOL There's planning to be done!
I really appreciate the link above with resources to persuade DHs. Thanks!
Good luck to the OP!
 

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I agree that showing the merits of homeschooling is best, but for comparison and contrast, would your dh be willing to attend a ps for a day to sit in and watch? I think if he were able to see that ps children don't interact much at all with their friends (when do they 'socialize?) and that they spend the majority of their days waiting to do things rather than actually doing them (to say nothing of whether the things they are waiting for actually interest them individually).

With my dh, I was into this before ds1 was born, and it didn't take too long for him to be on board (maybe two years). I told my dh the same thing as a pp; until you have done an equivalent amount of research on this, we defer to my research, logically, so if you think there is cause for concern about us deferring to my research, then please do the work. Same for vaccination.

Now dh uses this line on his friends who all think our choices are ridiculous, but who have not done even a token amount of research on the same issues.

It hasn't been effective in inciting his friends to do the work, but it has ended potentially damaging discussions just-on-time.


If nothing else works, have him read Lord of the Flies (again, if necessary). I think it's one of the best examples of why we live and learn as a family over here (and why we don't worry ourselves about a 'lack' of age-segregated socialization).
 
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