[Eyelet]

I apologize if this is in the wrong place, I'm not sure where to put this.

For the last year or so I've had the baby bug bad. I *really* want another one. My heart tells me my family is not done, however my head is telling me I'm being ridiculous. My two older sons are ASD (autism) and I worry I'm 'wrong' for possibly bringing another one into our family. My husband feels more done than I do - he worries about money and being able to handle a 3rd child (I do too, but for some reason this isn't swaying me??)

I've been told I'll snap out of this wanting another, but this urge feels so strong and I can just let it go however much I want it to sometimes..

Sorry is this is pointless, I just need to get this out and know if other moms have felt the same way?

 

[Right of Passage]

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[HappyMommy2]

I feel the same way. All the logical reasons in the world say we are done with our family. (financial too)

But I can't help that my heart wants one or two more!

 

[harmonyhobbit]

I struggled witht this, too. I have had 2 sick babies (one with SPD) and we are discussing bankruptcy. However, we decided that we'd rather not limit our family at this point. Fertility is so temporary. We'd rather make whatever sacrifices we have to for a child than to miss out on having another person in our home to love. Our finances are going to suck, with 2 children or 3. For us, it's worth the risk.

Do you feel like you personally could handle another child with ASD? There is no guarentee one way or the other, so you must be prepared for another spectrum child. If this is holding you back, would you consider adoption?

How secure are your finances? Is it a matter of bare survival, or is it a matter of lifestyle choices? Would you be willing to make the financial sacrifices necessary to welcome another child?

I don't think you will "snap out of it". I don't think it works that way. I do think you can make peace with your decision, whatever it is, if you really think it through and decide what is really right for your family. I wouldn't try to wait it out and hope it goes away.

 

[PGTlatte]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaki My heart tells me my family is not done, however my head is telling me I'm being ridiculous.

This is exactly how I have felt since DS2 was born 3.5 yrs ago. The feeling has never gone away. And it's driving me crazy.

 

[muttix2]

I've been feeling this way as well. When dd was born, I felt for awhile as though my family were complete. But for awhile now (weeks? months? I can't remember exactly when I began to feel this way) I've wanted another baby. Logically, we're not having anymore kids. But that doesn't stop the craving feeling. I want another pregnancy, another baby, another child. But I know that I won't ever have another. And that knowledge makes me almost unbearably sad.