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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I thought I was ready to move on and TTC, my DH is soooo ready, and then there was another loss.<br><br>
In our group of friends (about 7 families with at least a 2-3 yo) there has been 5 m/c's this past year and only one birth (brn 3-08 yay!).<br><br>
First friend had two m/c, then myself in Feb, then first friend again (that makes three for her). Then just a couple of weeks ago after I decided I was ready to TTC (DH was ecstatic) another friend in our circle had a m/c. That was the "straw". I can't handle it all over again. I'm just so sad. I am so close with these people and it's just so much loss. I'm crying now, just sharing this.<br><br>
I want another baby (I have a 3yo DD), but I can only handle so much grief. I wonder if I will ever be ready to try again. I look at my DD and think she's all I need, but it's not quite true.<br><br>
The worst part is I haven't been able to bring myself to talk to DH about it. He's my best friend and I've never really held anything back from him, but I am having trouble opening up to him now. It's actually making me feel quite lonely. Especially since we just moved to another state away from all our buds a couple wks ago.<br><br>
We thought I might be PG a few days ago, but the test was neg which was so dissapointing to him. I was actually relieved though, and that made me even more sad. I just wanted to feel dissapointed too.<br><br>
I am so torn between wanting to have another lo and being so afraid that it will be another lo I don't get to hold. Sometimes I think that the whole m/c experience was too traumatizing and now I'm just damaged.<br><br>
Anyone out there relate? Thanks for listening.
 

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Big hugs to you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Losing a baby is always damaging and everyone heals at different rates. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> There isn't anything wrong with you, you are still grieving. Talk to your dh. Tell him how you feel. There was a lot I kept inside and I think I shocked my dh when I finally let it all out to him. Some things I only recently shared with him and I'm a year from when I lost my dd.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you. I talked to my dh this morning. I think after getting some of my feelings out here I had an easier time understanding what I wanted to say to him.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> So glad you got a chance to talk to your DH. Hang in there it has been a tough year. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Such a tough year for your inner circle.<br><br>
I'm glad to hear that you've talked to the hubs, take it day by day.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss, and the losses of your friends. TTC seems terrifying to me right now, I can definitely relate.
 

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terrifying for me too. I hate this. a LOT
 

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I am so sorry for your loss, and the losses that are around you. I too have anxiety about TTC again. I feel as though the emotional stress will cause damage. I think I will know when I am ready. I am pretty sure you will too. There are days where I want to jump head first into trying, and other days where I get sick thinking about it. I hope you find your inner peace soon. My thoughts are with you mama!
 

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I'm not sure I'll be much support. But know that you aren't alone in your feelings. I'm so scared to get pregnant. I want a baby so badly...but I'm just so terrified. And I know that if I did get pregnant that it would be a pregnancy full of stress and anxiety and I wouldn't enjoy it at all. And my dh is right there with me. We're both wanting a baby, but not sure if we want to risk our sanity. We've had 2nd trimester losses that ended in very dramatic/traumatic births so it's hard to see something positive. So, we wait. And we haven't made any decsions either way. I'm at peace with that. Hugs to you....
 

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I'm right there with you as well. I don't want to make a decision about it, but the whole birth control issue is very frustrating as well. We get pregnant really easily, (just can't seem to keep them very easily), so if we do nothing, we might get pregnant. But we can't talk about it very much. Do we want another kid? Yes! But the road there is one that more times than not has caused enormous marital strain, painful hurts and been a test of faith that we're not sure we want to go through again. Ugh! I sure wish I could have a pregnancy that was full of ignorant- bliss!<br><br>
Confusing message, I know, but I can't make it much clearer as this is such a confusing issue for me.<br><br>
Anyway, support your way!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thank you all for answering my cry for support. It really is helpful to be able to connect with people who "get it". Thank you ladies and here's a big hug to all of you and the ordeals you are facing.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 
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