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<a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/sussex/6572613.stm" target="_blank">This</a> is so devastating<br><br>
I told an acquaintance that bullying was one of the reasons why I pulled my kids off school here in England. They told me: "You can't wrap your child in cotton wool forever, you know! They need to learn how to toughen up"<br><br>
I wonder what they would say to this article! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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Sad and frustrating.<br><br>
I can't believe the kids and adults involved are NOT being held responsible in some way....<br><br>
If that bus driver helped propagate this... why would they even consider allowing him to drive children ever again?....
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>polihaupt</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7948289"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/sussex/6572613.stm" target="_blank">This</a> is so devastating<br><br>
I told an acquaintance that bullying was one of the reasons why I pulled my kids off school here in England. They told me: <b>"You can't wrap your child in cotton wool forever, you know! They need to learn how to toughen up"</b><br><br>
I wonder what they would say to this article! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:</div>
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The fundamental flaw with that argument (and I've had this discussion over and over with my brother) is that the "toughening up" isn't valid for adult life. That's not how adults normally treat each other and we shouldn't try to convince kids it is.<br><br>
How horribly sad. I remember when I was in the (I think) 5th grade a kid in my class hung himself. He was a real dick but he was often picked on, was terribly poor and was probably abused. I hated the kid but it still made me intensely sad.
 

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This is so sad.<br>
I am trying to figure out what I can do when one of my children becomes the target of bullying, just like dh and I were. Is there any way to stop it, or can I only make them feel secure in themselves and help them through it?<br><br>
My middle school vice principals and counselor all told me and my mother not only that I had to toughen up but I was responsible for changing myself, essentially becoming more socially adept, so I was not the target of bullies. No one ever disciplined the gang of boys who were in my face harrassing me in full view of teachers in the commons area every lunch period for two years. No one discliplined the boys who physically harrassed my dh at his school. Some of my bullies, not suprisingly, were the sons of bullies. I know that because my father was one of their targets.<br><br>
My state is considering bullying legislation, but the last I heard people were pushing for specific language limiting it to bullying based on certain characteristics. This is only a tiny part of the bullying that occurs, and I am afraid the legislation would only encourage schools to ignore the bullying based on social groups, clothes, etc.
 

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Not that I am excusing the behavior of the bully(ies), but I didn't get a clear picture about whether mom and dad knew something was going on prior to that day. Did they know he was being picked on by the school bus driver? I feel really soory for the mom and dad and especially for that little boy, that's horrible.<br><br>
Namaste,<br><br>
Michelle
 

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That is such a shame.<br><br>
I really wish society would succeed in teaching respect. At the end of the day, it's the only value that matters...<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle">
 

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I cant help not to dwell on this part:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">He then went to his room, where she heard him sobbing like she had never heard him crying before.</td>
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Could she not go to him in this situation? Why did she leave him alone?
 

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The bus driver also called him names? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: Wonder how HE'S feeling now?! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>barose</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949806"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Could she not go to him in this situation? Why did she leave him alone?</div>
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We don't know the boy's personality. Some people get MORE upset if someone tries to comfort them. I do that sometimes. Usually when I'm crying, I like to be left alone. The mother was probably trying to give him time to calm down and work out some of the frustration before going to talk to him.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>barose</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949806"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I cant help not to dwell on this part:<br><br><br><br>
Could she not go to him in this situation? Why did she leave him alone?</div>
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It's hard to know what to do. Maybe he refused her comfort then or in the past and she thought he wanted to be alone. Sometimes kids that age want to be alone when they are upset. I hate to judge someone based on such limited information.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kate'smommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7951178"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's hard to know what to do. Maybe he refused her comfort then or in the past and she thought he wanted to be alone. Sometimes kids that age want to be alone when they are upset. I hate to judge someone based on such limited information.</div>
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ITA<br>
All I am thinking about is the sorrow the mom must be feeling for not having gone in sooner in time to save her boy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kate'smommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7951178"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's hard to know what to do. Maybe he refused her comfort then or in the past and she thought he wanted to be alone. Sometimes kids that age want to be alone when they are upset. I hate to judge someone based on such limited information.</div>
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I get what you're saying. I was thinking about my own experience---I would so want to be consoled/held in that situation. Just remember thinking about how lonely and sad I was when I wasn’t. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
But everyone is different.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">In a joint statement, West Sussex County Council and Tanbridge House School said steps were taken at the time to address the <b>"occasional difficulties"</b> Ben had had on the school bus.</td>
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ummm.....<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Mrs Vodden told the inquest that Ben had previously confided the explicit nature of the name-calling to his father, who called the company, C and L Coaches in Lancing, but no-one was available to speak to him.<br><br>
When he alerted Ben's school the following day, Mr Vodden was told to speak to West Sussex County Council, while the school said it would deal with the bus firm.<br><br>
But Mr McCullogh denied the allegations and no further action was taken because it was the driver's word against Ben's, the inquest heard.</td>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: It happed ONCE TOO MANY.<br><br><br>
My heart goes out to this boy and his family... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle">
 

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is anyone else getting a gay connection with this story? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> What were the "explicit taunts" being hurled at him?
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mama ganoush</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7958528"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">is anyone else getting a gay connection with this story? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> What were the "explicit taunts" being hurled at him?</div>
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That was my thought. Just like the little toddler boy who was encouraged to fist fight with his somewhat older sister. I believe *his mom* and the other women were calling him a gay slur. Thank heavens he would have no idea what it literally meant.<br><br>
Unfortunately, the boy from above would. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>polihaupt</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7948289"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I told an acquaintance that bullying was one of the reasons why I pulled my kids off school here in England. They told me: "You can't wrap your child in cotton wool forever, you know! They need to learn how to toughen up"</div>
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I am so sick of hearing that crap. Good for you for doing what's right for your kids.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kate'smommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7948693"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My middle school vice principals and counselor all told me and my mother not only that I had to toughen up but I was responsible for changing myself, essentially becoming more socially adept, so I was not the target of bullies. No one ever disciplined the gang of boys who were in my face harrassing me in full view of teachers in the commons area every lunch period for two years. No one discliplined the boys who physically harrassed my dh at his school. Some of my bullies, not suprisingly, were the sons of bullies. I know that because my father was one of their targets.</div>
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This totally sucks. I'm so sorry you had to go through it. It makes me absolutely furioius that no one disciplined the bullies.
 

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<span>Thats awful <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
poor boy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle"> r.i.p<br>
unfortunately it happens way too much, i remember hearing about a boy about 14 i think, who lived not that far from us, who hung himself because of bullying <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></span>
 

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That poor Mama and boy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle"><br><br>
I hate that whole "toughen up" attitude or fear of becoming a sissy. We really do a disservice to our boys with that attitude.<br><br>
I remember being teased, although nothing physical. I too thought about suicide, to be honest... but never told anybody. I did have a big brother, though, who when he found out kids were bothering me on the bus, boarded it when I got off and went and threatened the boys harassing me. Helped a lot, actually... although the school called my family. My Mom told them, "You weren't doing anything about it... shouldn't her big brother stick up for her?"<br><br>
I'm really surprised that an 11 year old even knows about hanging himself. I guess at that age, I wouldn't even know how to kill myself.
 
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