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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a 10 year old brother who was not circ'd at birth because thankfully my step mom disagrees with infant circ. Everything was fine but when he was 7 years old his penis got very red and sore so she took him to the ped and he reccomended circ, they then went to a urologist who said that he had adhesions and the foreskin would not retract so he reccomended circumcision as well, he said that if they didn't do it then it could get worse and he'd likely have to have it done later when he became sexually active if the foreskin still didn't retract on it's own.<br><br>
My step mom did not have access to internet researching and she was very sad about it but she followed the advice of the urologist and had my brother circ'd at the age of 7. My brother doesn't remember anything about it and did not complain too terribly of the pain afterwards, thankfully.<br><br>
Anyways, I just found this all out yesterday and I was so disturbed. Personally I would have gotten more opinions and done my own research, but I am not judging my step mom as she is still against routine circ.<br><br>
SO, do you think that in this case circumcision was the only option? What could she have done to avoid surgery. I want to know because my son is not circ'd and I am very anti-circ but I want to be prepared in case we are ever faced with this. My son has never had his foreskin forcefully retracted (though some ignorant nurse at the hospital insisted we needed to pull it back and dig around with a q-tip every time we bathed him!!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> ) - what age does a boy's foreskin normally retract? Does he do it on his own? Is there an age where it should have been retracted by?<br><br>
Thanks for your answers. My first reaction is to be very angry at the urologist for reccomending circumcision as a first resort, but I really don't know enough about the situation.
 

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I'm sure I won't be the first to say that it is perfectly normal to not retract until puberty at least, and I've also heard or read until adulthood.<br><br>
How sad! I'm so sorry!
 

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Expert Medical Advice for Parents:<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/10-0-0/html/10-1-0/10-1-protectuncircson103.shtml" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/10-0-0/html...rcson103.shtml</a>
 

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It's important that your brother understand that he was not one of those "had to be's" that we hear about. His circumcision was abolutly avoidable and the fact that he had "problem" is not proof that he, or his foreskin was flawed.<br><br>
First, if he had some sort of infection that could be dealt with ointments once the source of infection was understood.<br><br>
girls get infections all the time, they don't cut pieces off when it happens.<br><br><br>
Second- adhesions on a 7 year old are absolutly within the range of normal. Go to CIRP and look up the study done by Oster.<br><br><a href="http://www.cirp.org/library/general/oster/" target="_blank">http://www.cirp.org/library/general/oster/</a><br><br>
Third- apply logic...in order to circumcise him- they had to get those adhesions unstuck from his glans in order that his foreskin was not hanging like a shred of flesh? So if they could get the adhesions off his glans in order to CIRCUMCISE him... how come they could not get the adhesions off his glans in order to solve the "PROBLEM" WITHOUT circumcising him?... doesn't make sense does it? That's because they were treating him as if his foreskin was part of the problem and as if the circumcised penis was the normal that he needed. There was no need to do that, and if the Dr had been from anywhere other than here- they would NOT have circumcised as a part of releasing adhesions.<br><br>
Fourth- get ahold of his medical records and put them in a safe deposit box for his 18 birthday and think about helping him get legal help to make a lawsuit when he turns 18... it will be here before you know it- and he should sue for malpractace and grevious bodily harm. Make sure his records don't take a walk.<br><br>
Fifth- steroid ointment is very effective in releasing adhesions without surgery... was that tried? was it even OFFERED?<br><br>
Be sure that he is well informed about circumcision issues so that when he has kids he does not base his decisions on the way he was a victim of malpractice.<br><br>
Sorry to hear about what happened. Share this info with your step-mom too.<br><br>
Love Sarah
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for your answers ladies, it is as I feared. That mothering article was excellent! Thank you.<br><br>
Tragically my step mom was not offered any other options for treatment, the only answer they gave her was circumcision. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> Wonder how much $$ the doc made off of butchering my brother!? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying">
 

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JewelsRae:<br><br>
This was only 3 years ago, not in the information deficit of 15 years ago. All of the correct information was availale to the doctors from their medical societies as well as from numerous other sources. These doctors were working on out dated archaic information because they were too lazy to keep up with medical trends and information that was available at their finger tips. This is clearly a case of medical malpractice at the least if not coupled with greed. The surgery would cost between $1,000 and $1,800 (US) for a 45 minute or less procedure. It was a financial home run for the doctor.<br><br>
Your brother was showing classic symptoms of his adhesions separating and was in the begining stages of retractability. If nothing had been done, the redness and swelling most likely would have gone away in a few days and all would have been well. If not, his symptoms would be treated in the same way a girl would be treated for the same type of symptoms.<br><br><br>
RE: "SO, do you think that in this case circumcision was the only option?"<br><br>
Circumcision wasn't really an option, it was malpractice.<br><br><br>
RE: "What could she have done to avoid surgery."<br><br>
She could have gotten out of those doctors office like they were on fire.<br><br><br>
RE: "I want to know because my son is not circ'd and I am very anti-circ but I want to be prepared in case we are ever faced with this."<br><br>
It is unlikely that anything that could affect yor son's penis would be life or death. Step back, take a deep breath, research the issue and most likely by that time the problem will have passed. If not, consider what you would do if it were a daughter and the chances are about 95% that you will be right. It is only after repeated attempts to resolve the problem and all other methods have failed that circumcision should be put on the list of possible options.<br><br><br>
RE: "what age does a boy's foreskin normally retract?"<br><br>
Normally before the age of 20. If it doesn't retract by then, there are gentle stretching exercises that can resolve the problem in just a few weeks.<br><br><br>
RE: "Does he do it on his own?"<br><br>
Well, yes. I don't think it would be a good thing for a mother to be trying to retract her 18 year old son's foreskin. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br><br><br>
RE: "Is there an age where it should have been retracted by?"<br><br>
2/3 will be retractable by 6 years old, 90% by 10 years old and the rest by the end of their teens. Several medical sources have said 3 years old or 5 years old and thus the many erroneous diagnoses of phimosis. Actual cases of pathological phimosis are extremely rare. The vast majority of boys who have been circuumcised for "tight foreskin" or phimosis have been needlessly subjected to surgery.<br><br><br><br><br>
Frank
 

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JewelsRae, the quick answer is absolutely not. As others have pointed out, you stepmom was mislead by the dr and your brother a victim of malpractice.<br><br>
My son suffered a similar fate many years ago ( he is in his twenties now ). We had been instructed to gently retract at each bath ( I know - wrong !!), and by the age of 5 he was about halfway retractable with adhesions preventing any more than half his glans being exposed. Then one night when he was 7, he pulled his foreskin back and got a couple of little slits in it, which obviously hurt. On asking the new family Dr, he advised us to just leave it alone. Fast forward to age 11. My son had gone for a pee in the middle of the night and yelled out in pain. The urine was stinging, and he was crying and squeezing his penis so only a dribble came out. At the clinic the next day (weekend) he was diagnosed with a UTI and prescribed antibiotics.(I actualy think it was balanitis - infection of the foreskin). This cleared the infection up in a day or so. At the appointment with the (another) family Dr it was revealed that his foreskin had closed right up and had the appearance of a newborns - not retractable at all. He made an appointment with supposedly the best urologist in town, several months away. I suspected what was comming down the pipe and franticaly tried to find information that I could use to prevent a circ. I eventualy found Rosemary Rombergs book in a library, through that made contact with Marilyn Milos of NOCIRC, and through her contacted Dr John Taylor (who was in the middle of his research) and also Dr James Snyder. The latter sent me an abstact on baloon dilation of foreskins being done in China. The fateful day arrived and in I went , armed with what little I had been able to get (no internet then). The urologist was an arrogant a**, who insisted circ was the only answer and discretited the material I had brought. DW wanted DS problem fixed. I had serious reservations about him being circ'd and refused to go back. The end result was that Ds did get circ'd. He recovered quickly and did not seem to be in much pain.<br>
In retrospect I wish I had not given up, but fought harder, and I feel very guilty. I have apologised to him several times, and he is O.K. with it, saying he is just glad to be able to pee without pain. Since I have got internet access, I have discovered that there were several options that likely would have preserved DS foreskin, if only they had been offered. I am exremely angry that we were not offered any other course of action.<br>
The good thing is that my son realises that it is not a good thing to circumcise babies, and as some of his friends become parents, should the subject arise, he is willing to tell them that.
 

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JewelsRae - I wanted to add that if yiu have any questions, please pm me, as often I am on the road and miss a week or so of the board.
 
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