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Ok I was at the post office w/DD and there was a long line for packages but DD was in a good mood so I decided to pick mine up (the wait was like 15 min) so 2 people behind me is this lady with a toddler on foot and a newborn in a stroller as soon as she gets in line the baby start crying not crying screaming his lungs out like hes going to die and I pay no mind I figure she'll comfort him and everything will be fine.<br>
not so.<br>
After 10 minutes of hearing screaming like I've never heard before I leave my place in line ad go back to ask if there is anything I can do to help her, as I am at the point of tears and can't take it anymore and she says no he jut doesn't like being in the carseat and so I say I will do anything you need me to do so that you can comfot your child and she says no hes a baby and they cry and so I said well she(dd 8mo) has never cried like that and I was concerned, so then I turn around and the lady in front of me gives me an apriceative look and lets me cut her. Then I hear the lady saying to someone else hes a spoiled brat and screaming isn't gunna get him out of that seat, we're talking abot a 2-4 week old not a toddler.<br><br><br>
So was I rude or was she rude for exposing a long line of people to a screaming baby for 15min.... DH said I was kinda rude but I thought I was just being nice.... I'm just so sad so that little angel.
 

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That poor poor baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed">
 

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You weren't rude, that lady was.<br>
We recently heard someone say to their screaming infant, 'Quit that f***ing crying or I'll give you something to cry about', same age range.<br>
I don't get it, when my boy even whimpers, my breast start pouring <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Wow I tear up thinking about that...I feel horrible if my 2wk old even gets to the point of crying (the LC at the hospital told us if he cries for hunger we've missed 5 other cues - so really try not to let him get to the point of crying). I fed him and changed him in a variety of places alreadt and we haven't eve been out much!<br><br>
The poor baby!!! I would be hard pressed not to say something myself...I think the way you went about it was fine - if it was me and I really did need help I would have been so greatful!
 

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No, you weren't. I would have been though. Maybe not at first but when she called her babe a spoiled brat...oh I would have said something. Poor baby!!
 

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You weren't rude you were kind. How were you to know she didn't want to comfort her baby. There were lots of tyimes when my dd was a baby that I had to much to hold or something I couldn't handle out in public and I would of loved for someone to help me.<br><br>
The problem here is just the culture of CIO to teach babies a lesson<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
On a side note when ever my 2 year old hearsor sees a baby crying she says : "Oh a baby is crying her mommy and daddy will love her so she can feel all better."
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nannymom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8155554"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You weren't rude you were kind. How were you to know she didn't want to comfort her baby. There were lots of tyimes when my dd was a baby that I had to much to hold or something I couldn't handle out in public and I would of loved for someone to help me.<br><br>
The problem here is just the culture of CIO to teach babies a lesson<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:</div>
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I agree!<br><br>
Look, one of the main reasons I ever started looking into baby carriers and slings was because ds needed to be held so much. I caught a lot of flack and rudeness from people who thought I was spoiling him. They seemed to think that a 4 week old can really learn some kind of lesson by "working it out" (read "CIO"). You were not rude at all--in fact, had it been me, I would have been touched that somebody (a stranger at that) cared enough about me struggling with a small baby to try to help me.
 

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You did the right thing! IMHO our culture is so obsessed about everyone "minding their own business" and staying out others' lives but sometimes, it's only natural to "butt in" a bit, but in a good way, if that makes sense! Sorry, I may not be coherent yet, haven't had enough coffee this morning yet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I was in a similar situation in Babies R Us just yesterday. They were short-staffed and the lines were very long and in front of us was a women with a baby like 2-3 weeks old in the bucket SCREAMING her poor head off. I mean turning red and head shaking, the whole thing. It was killing me! The mom was sort of jostling the carseat and rocking it and going "shhhh" but not in a nice way, kind of in an annoyed "why-don't-you-be-quiet-already" kind of way! It was so sad. The mom looked around like she was embarrassed so I said to my kids, "Aw, that baby needs some nursies! Her mama's stuck in this long line. That happens to us sometimes, doesn't it?" I guess I was thinking it would be nice for her to feel like she's not alone and not be angry at her baby? I don't know....maybe I should have been more direct like you and offered to help, but I had own baby in the sling and my other kids running all over!
 

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<span>no you weren't rude, you were just offering to help, what that woman said about her baby was awful <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></span>
 

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you weren't rude! you handled it very well!!!!<br><br>
i feel so bad for that baby!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I was at a store last week and I heard the sound of a crying newborn. I was starting to get tense as I got closer to the sound of the crying but then I heard the baby's crying start to abate. I turned the corner to see a mom of three trying to get shopping done and she had let her older dd (about 8?) cuddle the baby. I thought that was pretty sweet and smart thinking.<br><br>
No real point to my story except that I was worried I'd come upon a newborn being ignored and be in the position of saying something/trying to help and maybe being rebuffed. To the OP, I'm glad you tried! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I agree with PPs -- you were kind.<br><br>
The only reason I can think that someone might think your offer of help was rude is because there was no real way for the woman to decline without looking callous and uncaring. (Which I'd guess she realized, hence her defensive verbal reaction afterwards, about the baby being a "spoiled brat".)<br><br>
But jeepers, I think it's way better to offer someone help when you can than to avoid doing so because it might make the recipient look bad in some way.
 

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so sad for that baby.<br><br>
I would have been rude. "You should always comfort a crying baby - or he'll just keep crying. He's not spoiled, he's not manipulating you, he's expressing a NEED. Pick him and comfort him, and we'll ALL be much happier!"
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>treqi</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8155069"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Then I hear the lady saying to someone else <b>hes a spoiled brat and screaming isn't gunna get him out of that seat</b>, we're talking abot a <b>2-4 week old</b> not a toddler.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yikes">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/scared.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="scared"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="jaw2">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>_betsy_</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8157614"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">so sad for that baby.<br><br>
I would have been rude. "You should always comfort a crying baby - or he'll just keep crying. He's not spoiled, he's not manipulating you, he's expressing a NEED. Pick him and comfort him, and we'll ALL be much happier!"</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod">
 

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You did the right thing. Poor babe!
 

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I agree with the rest of the PPs. You weren't rude in any way - I have done the same thing myself. Sometimes I hope that maybe the mom has just had a hard day and barely has anything left in her, so I offer to help out. Like, say her baby cries all the time, whether or not he's being held, and she really needed to get her PO stuff done etc...<br><br>
I think that she was rude to not recognize your kind gesture and of course, completely rude and disrespectful of her baby's needs.<br><br>
Kudos to you for trying to help! And to the other lady in line who supported you!
 

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I don't think you were rude. I think people have a warped sense of what babies are able to understand and when.<br><br>
It's not possible for him to be spoiled, he's not old enough to understand that complex of a concept.<br><br>
My DH keeps worrying that my 6 month old should be learning that she can't always get what she wants. I told him that I understood his concern, but that right now, she's at the age where she has to learn to trust that mommy and daddy will always be there.<br><br>
Learning about complex concepts like sometimes you have to earn things will come later...<br><br>
It's really sad how fast some people want to "train" their children about "how much life sucks."<br><br>
Let your baby be a BABY, for crying out loud. He'll never get the chance again.
 
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