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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,<br>
Just wanted to bounce ideas off each other, was to ways to raise our sons to respect women. Just wanted to brainstorm some ideas. So, if you have any, post them!
 

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I think mainly in the way you conduct your own life, do you respect yourself? do you allow others to walk all over you? are you not direct in your communications?<br><br>
All of these things have the hugest effect in how they will feel about women.<br><br>
If they have a dad that has no respect for women, you are just going to have to trust that your influence will be influential in the long run.
 

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I think that starts with respecting ourselves and others.<br><br>
I left my first husband and became a single mama because I was not being respected (among other things!!!) .. and one of the things I SO admire about my current husband is the way he treats everyone with kindness and respect.
 

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I think exposing him to grown men who respect women is probably one of the best ways. My two are young yet but they do get some time each week with their grandpa and I am hoping that will rub off.<br><br>
I also think/theorize that showing mutual respect to our children is the best way to earn their respect... I'm trying anyway...guess we'll see how it went in another 10-15 years..
 

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I when he is younger just by repecting yourself, treating yourself right and only choosing to be around men that have complete respect for you. As he gets older I think you can talk to him about it. Also teaching him to respect himself, and starting conversations with him while watching movies or seeing people out in the world. It is weird, ex does NOT respect me. But Dp respects me more than anything. So my son will see both sides. But overall, he will see me being strong and secure when ex disrespects me. And he will see I made the choice to be with someone that love and cares for me, the right way.<br><br>
*feeling very respected at the moment as I just got back from a massage dp got me just to let me know he appreciates me. That is a not a sure sign of respectthough, it is the little things that really matter to me, but am feeling good noetheless!
 

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This is a great question, and something I've been thinking about a lot lately. My DS is only 4, but I really don't want him to grow up to be one of "those" guys.<br><br>
I agree about modeling behavior, and helping them build relationships with other men who are respectful.<br><br>
Actually I think my stbx is overall pretty respectful of women-- just not *this* woman.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>NolaRiordan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10821630"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Actually I think my stbx is overall pretty respectful of women-- just not *this* woman.</div>
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Same with me, in the past.<br><br>
I'd be interesting to study what went wrong when *those guys* were being raised. I'm sure it's not all environmental.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:
 

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Kinda OT, but teach them how to do household chores. My XH went from his mom's house to mine, and was never independent before we got together. He threw a fit if I asked him to unload the dishwasher.
 

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My solution is:<br><br>
Raise them as you would a girl.<br><br>
It's what I'm trying, anyway. Teach them to be sensitive, nurturing, gentle and kind.<br><br>
We'll see how it goes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I think teaching them to have respect for themselves is a huge thing. And to show them that people are whole people - even if they aren't in a relationship with someone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cjuniverse</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10823121"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My solution is:<br><br>
Raise them as you would a girl.<br><br>
It's what I'm trying, anyway. Teach them to be sensitive, nurturing, gentle and kind.<br><br>
We'll see how it goes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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<br>
Great idea!! I was talking to a couple other mom's who both expressed how great it would be to have another woman as a partner. My ideal man would be a homemaker, 50/50.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mistymama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10785728"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think that starts with respecting ourselves and others.<br></div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>twins10705</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10815039"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think exposing him to grown men who respect women is probably one of the best ways.</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Tilia</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10822622"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Kinda OT, but teach them how to do household chores.</div>
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For me, as a mom of 2 boys, it's a combination of all three of these.<br><br>
I especially think that the household chore thing is an important piece. I don't think men can really respect women if they have the idea in their heads that "women's work" is something that's beneath them. I want the boys to understand first hand how much effort it takes to run a household..... so down the road, regardless of who's doing that work in their family, they have an appreciation of it.
 
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