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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
He flips and flops. He pokes, pinches and pulls. He rolls. He jerks. He bangs his head. He hits us and laughs. He blows zerberts on my tummy (which makes me laugh but mad at the same time!)<br><br>
It takes at least an hour, most of the time an hour and a half to get him to sleep. The only time recently its taken shorter than that was DST (Sunday) when he didnt take a nap at all. He usually only sleeps from noon to 2pm. We start bedtime around 8:30 or 9:00. He used to nurse down (it still took an hour or more) but I weaned him due to cramping when he latched on. (I am pregnant) He gets to pick out 4 or 5 board books to read in bed before lights out. We take a baby bottle and a sippy cup of water. He only takes a bath 3 or 4 times a week because he has really really dry skin.<br><br>
I cannot take it anymore. If I put him to bed after 45 minutes I start to get rough. I force him to lay down. I hold him there. He cries.<br><br>
I am SO ready to just put him in his crib (which he has NEVER slept in but it is up in his room) and be done with it. I HATE IT! I dread doing bed time. I should say sometimes my dh does it and he ALWAYS falls asleep before ds.<br><br>
I need some things to try. I dont need any "It'll get better" posts. I need, "Try this:___________" posts.<br><br>
Please help me before I hurt someone.
 

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OK, only two suggestions:<br><br>
Could you sidecar the crib so he has own space to sleep in?<br>
Can your DH put him to bed at night? Or at least take turns?
 

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Have you tried:<br><br>
later bed time?<br>
earlier bed time?<br>
dropping the nap?<br>
letting him stay up until you go to bed?<br><br>
good luck!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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Have you tried:<br><br>
- wearing him (say, on your back in a mei tai) starting around bedtime?<br>
- taking him for a walk outside in a stroller or in a sling?<br>
- looking for and waiting for signs of sleepiness before trying to put him to sleep?<br><br>
You have my sympathies, DS was a rough go-to-sleeper, he would sleep like a log but would resist falling asleep with the most crazy acrobatics. I confess that many nights I ended up holding him down until he 'gave up' because I just didn't know what else to do. This was even well after he'd moved into his own bed and we had troubles for years.<br><br>
Now that he's older we know that he's hyperactive and has a sensory processing disorder -- so being tightly held was actually probably GOOD for him. I wish I'd known about it then, it might have given me more patience.<br><br><br>
And I wish I'd known about babywearing. When DD gets fussy and won't settle quickly to sleep just by nursing, I pop her on my back and go about my business. Works just about every time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
thank you for your suggestions.<br><br>
I have a few questions.<br><br>
He hasnt really been worn since he was 14 or 5 months old. All I have is a sling, which really wouldnt be condusive to going to sleep. Do you think it would be worth it to get something for him now?<br><br>
Walking outside would be me absolute dream to get him to sleep, but it is still pretty chilly here, again, would it be starting a bad habit to bundle him up to walk for 30 minutes? Or do I just do what works and worry about the next step when its frigid again in November? (and by then we will have a new baby)<br><br>
He does stay up some nights until we go to bed. The only nights he goes to bed earlier are the nights he "Acts tired" by lying his head on the floor, rubbing his eyes and such. It just doesnt seem to matter when we try. But the one thing we havent tried is going to bed way early. Maybe we can give that a shot for a few nights.... although I am leaning towards the stroller.<br><br>
TANKGIRL73: What are your sons signs of hyper activity? I wouldnt be suprised if we have some of that for sure.....
 

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I went through the same thing with my ds when he was about 15 months old, when he became miserable to sleep in the same bed with and I need him to fall asleep without nursing. There is actually an alternative to getting upset and holding him down to fall asleep, which is being very calm and relaxing and singing and rubbing their back or arms or belly, and still holding them down until they fall asleep, which is what we did. He won't like it much for the first couple of days, but after that, if you are calm, and consistent, he will understand that it is not so bad to fall asleep in his bed, or your bed, without a fight. I know this is probably at odds with lots of the moms on this site, but we just felt like it was time to learn to fall asleep in his bed, because I was very tired. Good luck, hope this helps!
 

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Many people swear by the earlier bedtime thing, and I would suggest that you try that...<br><br>
Here is my .02-- I tried for a while to get DD to sleep at a reasonable hr (according to everyone else... 8pm) and it would take like 45 min. I mentioned this to my girlfriend and she very matter of factly was like, geez, that's a lot of work. If my kids don't fall asleep within 15 or so minutes, they're not ready. So I started w/ that. DD gets tired, sleepy and sometimes a bit cranky atleast an hr before I TRY to get her to sleep. I usually start bath when she starts to show some signs (on nights she doesn't get a bath, we lay on the bed and read and play silly stuff...) and then we do our little routine... and she is generally asleep very fast w/ little effort. If she is fighting it after 20 min or so, I put her down and we do a little more quiet play. I just get over it, ya know?<br><br>
the other thing that is great is to do a little massage after bath or books... I have baby massage oil and I rub her little chunky legs while talking really calm and nice to her, rub her feet, her back, her belly and it is calming to her.<br><br>
HTH.
 

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I found that a bath before bed was actually too stimulating for dd. So we moved it up during the day, and don't take baths as often.<br><br>
I was surprised, that when my dd was just about 2, and i couldn't lay there with her forever for her to fall asleep, I explained to her that I was going downstairs to go pee, then came back. Then I said I had to wash the dishes, and be right back. She handled it well, I just kept checking in. And she falls asleep on her own. She protested for a few minutes the first day. But, when you hold your child down and they cry, I feel that is making your child cry, and not much better than leaving your child to cry for a few moments. But it turns out my dd actually liked a little bit of down time to herself - I never gave it to her. So your child may be ready.
 

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I would try earlier bedtime. Maybe start the routine at 6 and get him in bed by 7. The first couple of days you could skip the nap so he's sure to be tired early, then add it back again if you think he still needs a nap. Also, back rubs work wonders.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
So we left the house in the stroller tonight about 7:00 pm. He fell asleep around 7:45 and is out for the night. I know its a crutch, but I will take whatever I can get at this point. Thanks for all the suggestions. It was nice, I got an hour of exercise and he fell asleep peacefully.<br><br>
Tomorrow night its supposed to rain here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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For the stroller, since it is weather dependent, could you walk him inside? When DS was about 5 months old, he would get SO fussy in the evening, adn we didn't know about babywearing then, so we brought in our umbrella stroller and we would wheel him around the house. Kinda boring for us, but hey, we kept our sanity and DS would calm down. It might be worth a try if the weather is bad; if it doesn't work you are no worse off.<br><br>
Kelly
 
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