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I am just so irritated. I just did our bills (alone, even though I think H needs to take some of the responsibility, he never has time for it) and I feel like we will never, ever get ahead. I had to take a pt job as a nanny because we just couldn't make ends meet. And I feel like now that I am working, H thinks we have all this extra money, so he just spends it. I know he's not the only problem, I spend, too. But it just feels like as soon as we get a little extra money, it all goes to dd's new carseat, a new this, a new that. A present here, a present there. I'm just so tired of struggling. It's so hard to buckle down when I want to go out to breakfast, too! And living like we have no money puts just as much a strain on us because it feels like we can't do anything. We take advantage of all the free activities we can, but even they end up costing money. We went away to IL's land for a free weekend away, but we still end up spending on gas there and back, food, coffee, etc. I think part of the problem is that H gets paid on fridays, and by the time I sit down on sunday/monday to pay things, we've dipped into our bill money for some fun things. But we need SOME fun! I'm just so, so, so, so, so tired of struggling. Is it worth SAH if the stress of being so broke just leads to such a tense relationship? Isn't that worse on dd than if I worked and we had some money? I mean, I know we'd still argue, but it just feels like right now 99% of our arguemnts/problems are due to our lack of money. I don't know what to do! I don't know how to ever catch up! I don't know how to stop spending! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br>
I'm sorry, I just needed to vent. I know that our situation is a lot better than many, so I really shouldn't even be feeling sorry for myself. But I am. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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Oh honey, we're right there with you. We just applied for state aid temporarily to help us pay our overdue bills.<br><br>
I'm so frustrated and tired of borrowing money from our family for things like fixing cars we just bought and replacing a dying refridgerature.<br><br>
Hang in there. I'm trying to get DH to help with looking at bills too. I feel like he'd take more ownership if he was able to see where the money went. Right now, he dreads payday because there's nothing left when I'm done paying bills and he doesn't know where it went.<br><br>
Jen
 

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Have you tried direct deposit and online bill paying? That was/is a GODSEND for us. Because I hear you - if you're home, all you see is things you want to replace staring you in the face all. day. long. So a little extra comes in, and wham! out it goes.<br><br>
I also found making a schedule to help. So we do maybe 1 weekend of housework (without the trips to Home Depot!) 1 weekend of fun that costs money, 1 weekend with friends that isn't money and 1 weekend of yard work. You might also check out the frugal living section and see if they have any more suggestions.
 

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Do you and DH do a budget? If you had a budget in place you would know exactly where all the money needs to go before DH even gets paid. You would know exactly how much money is to spend on fun stuff and on bills, etc. You and DH could sit down and do this together so you both feel like it's something that will work for each of you and your family.<br><br>
I just started reading The Total Money Makeover (lots of mamas on the Frugality and Finances board LOVE this book!) and there are great ideas about budgets, getting out of debt, etc etc.<br><br>
FWIW, I am just starting on the journey towards managing our family's finances and it's making me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:. I totally know where you're coming from. On one income it's so much work to stretch every last dollar!
 

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Well, for me, being a SAHM is worth it. I think, yeah, I could get X, Y, Z if I worked for pay, but so what? I know MANY SAHMs that struggle with money, whether they have an income of $150K or $45K . . .and many that do not even if they have an income of $45K.<br><br>
ITA with the pp . . .a budget is a must. First, make one. Then, STICK to it. You will have to find a system to track your spending-- this is a very important step.<br><br>
Budget everything, including money for fun. Since we are in the processing of paying the cc down (we used to have no debt and it was sooooooo nice), we are not putting anything into savings. We still have a small amount of savings, but not adding to it. Then, we have 2 main categories: the fixed/monthly expenses, and then the irregular expenses. We contribute to the irregular expense fund automatically (online everything here!) . . .as though it were a car payment. Same for the cc payment.<br><br>
The irregular expense fund is a must. Those expenses like the car seat, the gifts, repairs, etc. WILL come up so you have to plan for them by contributing a percent of the paycheck every time (or monthly, depending on how you want to do it). It will give you such a sense of relief to know that when something annoying like an oil change comes up, it isn't extra money out because you've planned for it. For us, we have personal money. DH and I each get a set amount. Since we are tight with $ now, things like haircuts, clothes, and whatever else (not groceries) come from this. Our DC also have personal money (taken out each paycheck). This pays for clothes, memberships to children's museums, gifts for their friends, etc.<br><br>
Now, we have no money to spare (when we take those irregular expenses into account) and planning ahead made this really hit home with us. That means we had to sit down and prioritize-- how much were we willing to spend on gifts? On going out to eat? On classes? On groceries? How much could we TRULY afford?<br><br>
DH was resistant at first but now he's on board all the way . . .he had to come to the conclusion on his own that change was needed.
 

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Our rent takes 50% of our income. We have no money left over after we pay bills and buy groceries. Both cars just broke down. I hear ya on the not getting ahead thing. We are sinking further and further into poverty. It is hard not to question my staying home with this happening.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">Our rent takes 50% of our income. We have no money left over after we pay bills and buy groceries. Both cars just broke down. I hear ya on the not getting ahead thing. We are sinking further and further into poverty. It is hard not to question my staying home with this happening.</div>
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Any possibility of moving? Our mortgage (and utilities) takes more than 50% of our income, too-- but we are NOT getting further into debt anymore, not now that we are strict with ourselves.
 

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Calculate what you need for bills before you get paid on friday. Know what needs to be paid and what you need for groceries, gas, etc. The subtract that from what he gets paid. So if he gets $1000 amd up you know you need $900 for bills and food, then you know that you have $100 left to spend, save or whatever. If you work with exact number it's easier to evaluate your situation and spend a more appropiate amount.
 

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we look at it in two parts:<br><br>
1. what our means are and how to live in it; and<br><br>
2. how we want to live and how to make that possible.<br><br>
for the first part, there are things that we can 'cut' in order to fund things that are more fun. no, i'm serious. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> our entertainment/fun gift fund went up by a lot when we stopped paying for cable 7 yrs ago. when we cut back on a few other things (no long distance, we use our cell for example), that allowed us to put more money over here verses over there. we were able to get rid of a number of bills entirely--that was fabulous.<br><br>
for the second part, we know that we want to live in certain ways. they aren't major. over a year ago, we knew that we wanted to go all organic with our food. WE priced out what the difference in our food bill would be from as it was (partly organic) to what we wanted (fully organic). We learned that with proper planning, we could go all organic for a mere $50 more per month. My husband went in--off raise season--and asked for a raise that would give us an extra $100/mo. his boss was happy to do so, and within 6 weeks, we had an all organic lifestyle because his finances increased.<br><br>
right now, we're looking at a larger project. we're budgeting for kids, and we know that we'll need $X per year above what we earn now--and we'll be loosing my income (i teach yoga; i don't earn much, but it helps--we mostly invest it). So, we know how much we'll need to earn to be a SAHM and reach some of our projects that we want to do.<br><br>
So, my DH asked for another raise (and got it), which helps us with some of those other projects--and he's looking for a job in a new area (we do want to move too), where he'd get paid X amount which will support us at a basic level (where we are now, plus kid expenses for a couple of years)--and this sets us up and 'gets us ahead.'<br><br>
seriously, it works. Also, we ask for money at christmas, birthdays, etc. Straight up, we ask for investments like CDs at the bank. It's great. I take all the money and pool it up--we get a good deal of christmas money--and then we plop it into a high-interest CD and after so many months, we have so much more money. We drop that into our money market account, and then by next christmas, we're well ahead. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Yes, you can get ahread. but you have to make a pln that works for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>weeirishlass</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6459075"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I feel like now that I am working, H thinks we have all this extra money, so he just spends it. I know he's not the only problem, I spend, too.</div>
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When I was working out of high school and earning $7/hr manual labor, I wondered how the electrician could be broke at $30/hr. He said: "When you have more you spend more". If this is your husband's philosophy and it seems like it is from what you wrote, I don't think it will matter. You'll buy newer cars or 2 cars. You'll spend on meals out more instead of from scratch. You'll buy at full price because you don't have time to shop/compare/scour the Friday yard sales. I think you will just see your daughter less and have different stresses.
 

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Our phone was just shut off and they need the whole $280 to set it back up again. Thankfully our DSL usually lasts a few more days than the phone so I'm happy there. We have a $500 bill with our electric/water/sewer that is due Monday and I haven't paid rent in two months. I also have another $290 bill that is due the 15th.<br><br>
I'm so frustrated. I'm trying so hard, I just haven't started getting transcription checks until this week and the first one went to pay overdraft fees in my bank account ($150).<br><br>
DS is teething something fierce and just cries and cries. I don't know what to do with him. I've tried Rescue Remedy, Chamamilla and I've been nursing non-stop. He just is so upset and restless. I just put him down and hollered at him b/c he wants in my lap, but then squirms to get out. I feel horrible. He's screaming now.<br><br>
I have no gas to get into town to try to sort this whole thing out and beg the phone company for service. I emailed DH and he said he called them, but it was a no-go. He's being snippy at me, but of course, he gets to to play pool tonight as that is something we promised not to cancel b/c of money. Its only $6 a night, once a week. I want something fun too. I want a break.<br><br>
I feel so alone right now. I have so much work to do & I can't b/c of DS. I just want to cry. I applied for some aid from the state, but I don't know what the status is b/c I can't call them.
 
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