[MamaAsheri]

Hi everyone!

I'm new here. I have one 18-month old son who I am still breastfeeding. I am very happy with this except that I still haven't gotten my period back and my clock is tick-tocking away. I'm 35 (and a half!) and would like to have more children (my dream is to have 4). My son nurses about every 4 hours day and night. The other day he went 6 hours between 2 successive feeds and I thought this was a great idea (because I want my period back - more than that really - I want to be fertile again) so I tried to keep him at a "every 6 hour" schedule but he cries and cries when he asks to nurse and I say no. It breaks my heart. And he started getting clingier and waking up more at night to nurse. (I give in more at night because I don't want sleep interrupted to the extent that I try to get him back to sleep in other ways besides nursing which is close to impossible when he's so set on that being what he wants.) Again I'm happy with the breastfeeding the way it is except that I want to get pregnant again. I guess I should also tell you that he eats food very well. I think the breastfeeding isn't really about food anymore and I can't seem to exchange cuddles for breastfeeding if that's what he's wanting because he gets it set in his mind that he wants to bf and that's all he'll take.

Do you wise mommies have any advice for me?

Thanks!
Mommy Wanting More

 

[SeekingJoy]

Instead of only letting him every 6 hours nurse around the clock, what if instead you started to gradually nightwean him so you can get a 6 hour stretch at night. All women are different, but sometimes a minor shift in nursing patterns can trigger AF to come back. For me all it took was for DD to drop one nursing session mid-morning. Otherwise she nurses/ed every 2 hours.

 

[Earth Momma]

you sound like me -- the clock is ticking but I got them all in (I'll be 37 in Jan)
night nursing (lack of) is the is the key to ovulation which you can have without a period!!
read anything on natural family planning or natural child spacing but use the info in reverse!
essentailly the less you nurse at night the sooner you will ovulate (let DH get up with him and give him a cup of whatever your into)

I'll use myself as an ex:
child one only nurse once per night (nursed at 10, nursed at 4, woke and nursed at 9) from age 3 mos on. Therefore ovulation came back quickly (no period) and I got prego when she was 5 mos old
child two nurse 5-6 times per night until he was 15 mos old and I got a breast infection and had to take a break - got prego on the break!!!
child 3 I pumped (cardiac condition) and eventually he nursed all night so I finally got a period when he was 18 mos and got prego the next mo!!

so I went from may 2003 to nov 2008 with no period, had one , got prego, my EDD is sept 13!!!!!

so reduce the night nursing and read up on natural child spacing

good luck momma!!!

 

[woodchick]

I agree that night weaning might do the trick. Herre's a link to a gentle nightweaning approach

dr Gordon

 

[MamaAsheri]

Wow! Thank you all so much for your advice and for the link on night weaning because that was going to be my next question.

I almost cry reading that I may still have time to have more babies!! Now to gear myself up for sleep interruptions and getting my DH's help.

I guess my concern now is...

He will cry right? And that's okay? I mean - ugh - I've been nursing on demand all this time so to all the sudden say 'no' when that's what he wants is hard. What is he thinking when that happens? "Where did my mommy go?"

Oh and natural family planning. Boy that's hard right? Is there a forum subject for that? I've never really gotten how to check the mucus and all that jazz.

Thanks again!!
One Happy Mommy

 

[MamaAsheri]

I just thought of another question! It's possible that cutting his feedings down at night will make him want to nurse more frequently during the day. Will this offset any benefit (namely, a return to fertility)?

Thanks again!!
Dana

 

[SeekingJoy]

He might shift some of his nursings to the day, but I think the key is your single longest stretch (often at night), not how frequently the other nursing sessions are bunched together.

 

[MountainMamaGC]

Just make sure he has access to snacks and a sippy in the day and he should not need to nurse anymore than usualy in the daytime. When night weaning, you can be there for him when he cries, you just dont give them boob. I was right by my DDs side when I nightweaned her. She cried and I rubbed her back. My DH and I took turns putting her back to sleep. At first she woke up more often as if to say "How about now?" then she understood that booby went night night and started sleeping 6 hours stretches, unless of course she is teething. Molars are the worst.

 

[KweenKrunch]

I wouldn't wean one child in the hopes it would facilitate another pregnancy. The current child gets priority, IMHO.

 

[mommyshanti]

i still havent gotten mine either lo is 13m. my other 2 i nursed the same in freq and came back around 9m. just wondering when i always feel llike its gonna come while im out and about

 

[Earth Momma]

yes he will wake up and ecpect to nurse since that is what he has done from the beginning - also he will be very confused if you're holding him but not nursing him at night.....DH will have to step up, with my last DS this only took a week maybe two and it was far worse on me then on DS!!

during the day if he tends to increase the requests, try distraction techniques - new or different toy or game, outings, avoid the typical spot where you nurse (one friend actually moved the furniture around)

I know you'll do great!!!! can wait to hear your prego!!

 

[bobandjess99]

For different reasons, I recently started weaning down my son, who was 18 months old...he is now almost 21 months old..it has gone REALLY well. The first month or so is the hardest, and I found that i HAD to continuously offer him other food and drink and...and I'm sure this will get my flamed nice and good, but I don't care, I'm sefl-confident and know i did what had to be done, weaning HAD to happen, ***I had to make sure that food and drink was MORE ATTRACTIVE than nursing***....so..he got a lot of treats, a lot of juice, a lot of snacks that weren't the healthiest...but...if i offered him a piece of carrot, he'd scream for boob...whereas if I offered him a cookie, he'd happily take the cookie and toddle off for another 20-30 minutes, and not ask to nurse for a while, etc.
We are now down to nursing maybe once per day and once per night.

 

[MamaAsheri]

Well so far the weaning is going well. I'm using that link that was posted. We've done 2 nights of nursing for just a few minutes but taking him off awake. He cries at first but then crawls up on me and falls asleep laying on me. That's his first night waking. After that he doesn't cry at all and just takes the little nursing and goes right back to sleep. The second 3 days is not nursing at all but just comforting to sleep. That may be the hardest! We'll see how it goes... One more night of this then onto the next step...

Thank you for the encouragement!

:

 

[SeekingJoy]

So glad that nightweaning is a route that might work for you instead of total weaning. This way your LO will get all the immunological and nutritional value of nursing, while you get your AF back.

 

[MamaAsheri]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeekingJoy So glad that nightweaning is a route that might work for you instead of total weaning. This way your LO will get all the immunological and nutritional value of nursing, while you get your AF back.

Thanks! That's what I was hoping for.

Where in NC are you? That's where I'm from! Currently I live in Tanzania, East Africa (where public, extended breastfeeding and babywearing are the NORM

)

Dana

: who has been dying to use that emoticon just because it's cute

 

[Earth Momma]

glad to see things are going well - keep up the good work Momma!!!

 

[SeekingJoy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaAsheri Thanks! That's what I was hoping for. Where in NC are you? That's where I'm from! Currently I live in Tanzania, East Africa (where public, extended breastfeeding and babywearing are the NORM ) Dana : who has been dying to use that emoticon just because it's cute

I'm in the Triangle, where although extended breastfeeding and babywearing aren't the norm, at least I am not the ONLY one.