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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
And now I am having second thoughts.<br><br>
Here's the scoop: I bf my 4 year old for 2 years, got pg a month after weaning and now my little boy is 18 months and I'm just SO TIRED of not having my body to myself anymore. It has been almost 5 years solid that I've been pg or bf and I just feel DONE. PLUS, he has a corn and a dairy allergy, so I've had to really restrict my diet and I don't want to do it anymore. Plus, it would be really nice to get some feeling in my nipples again! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> Sorry if I sound like I'm whining. (I am)<br>
He's not vaccinated though and I feel like I should keep going to keep him as healthy as possible. My husband thinks he's gone long enough (although he's been extremely supportive) and says he will be fine. I'm sure he will, I'm just having second thoughts and I'm still somewhat engorged, so I know I can still change my mind if I want.<br><br>
Do you have any thoughts or wisdom for me? I would appreciate it.<br><br>
Thanks,<br>
Stephanie
 

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You chose to have babies, it's not their fault you have to "share" your body with them. You're the mommy. It's your job! Suck it up <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> and do it! Two years is the BARE MINIMUM your child should nurse.<br><br><a href="http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/detwean.html" target="_blank">http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/detwean.html</a><br><a href="http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/dettoddler.html" target="_blank">http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/dettoddler.html</a><br><a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html</a>
 

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I agree with the above poster. Why don't you ask your dh to do some stuff around the house, or take the kids out for abit so you can take a bubble bath or do something totally for yourself once a week no matter what and stick to it, so you feel like you have your body 'back' at least a little. YOu will be more rested and get some much deserved pampering. It sounds like you don't really *want* to wean or you wouldn't be asking here. Don't do something you will feel bad or guilty about. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Suck it up! It will be over before you know it and you will miss this time. Your babies are only babies once, for a short time, it is worth these times of tiredness and frustration to give your child what they need.<br>
Lauren
 

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Seriously, SUCK IT UP <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"> ?! I can't believ you guys are saying this to her! OP: If indeed stopping is what you feel is best for your body and sanity, do so; 18 mos is a GOOD run of breastfeeding no matter what anyone may try to tell you. If you're actually not happy you made the decision, you should reexamine it. I suppose, never having tried to do this, that you could reintroduce the breast to your child.
 

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You have done wonderful for your baby. If you feel like you need to stop, no one in their right minds can criticize you for doing so! It is your body, and your decision. And at least now, if you do decide to start up again, you can probably get your toddler to nurse less often, freeing up your body for yourself a little bit more. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Don't fret too much over your decision; but if you seriously think you will regret having given up bfing earlier than you did with your other child, then you may want to consider nursing longer. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Nursing is a relationship that has to work on both sides for it to work out. I think nursing your baby for 18 months is awesome, and if you stop now you have nothing to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of. I don't think you should start nursing again if you're going to hate it and feel resentful of your ds the whole time; the breast should be a loving and nurturing place for him.<br><br>
Have you read any of the books like Mothering Your Nursing Toddler, How Weaning Happens, or the Nursing Mother's Weaning Companion (or something like that, by Kathleen Huggins)? I'm reading the first one right now and it's really good.<br><br>
How does your ds feel about the weaning? Does it seem like he really needs to nurse still? Has he transferred his affections to a bottle or a binky (meaning he probably still needs to nurse) or is he fine without nursing? Does he seem happy or sad about the situation?<br><br>
Good luck, mama.
 

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Could you limit it to once or twice a day? Like naps and bedtime? Then he gets a small amount of milk to keep the immunities going, but you get 98% of your body back? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Or maybe you could pump once or twice a day just to get a little into him, but maintain more control over your body and the boundaries?<br><br>
My son is 18 months too, and while I haven't been nursing almost 4 yrs nonstop, I do understand that it's tough. I'm nursing him and there are days when I want some SPACE!!!!! Mental, physical, psychic--any space! For me, though, he's probably my last, and he's partially vaxed, so I do feel a need to nurse him until he's 3 or 4 to keep up the immunities.<br><br>
Best of luck, whatever you decide.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I really appreciate all of your posts and I didn't feel like "suck it up" was a bad thing to say. Sometimes it just needs to be said. My favorite line (to myself mostly!) is "Buck up, Buckey!". I should have come here for support before I decided to quit, but I figured I'd get talked into bf longer and I just didn't want to do it any more at the time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer"><br><br>
I did start to bf ds again. I feel like I've had a nice vacation and I'm ready to go the duration. I think I just needed a BREAK and I was thinking that weaning was my only way out.<br><br>
So a new day begins (with a new attitude, the most important part right?) and we will continue our bf journey.<br><br>
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support. Also, thanks for anyone that was thinking of me even if you didn't post. (I do that all the time!)<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br>
Stephanie
 

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Stephanie, I just wanted to commiserate with you on the corn and dairy allergy and all that goes into it. I don't think anyone here could understand it unless they have gone through it. We had corn, milk, and yeast plus some fruits (apple, pear, raisens, grapes and something else, I forget). It made our whole family miserable, extended family miserable and it was so difficult all around. I am so thrilled for you that you got a break and that it's not too late seeing as you seem to want to continue. Breastfeeding through allergies is tough. I commend you with the fullest respect!!!
 

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Stephanie,<br><br>
I've never heard of a nursing vacation, but if that's what worked for you, great!<br><br>
I've often felt "touched out", and I'm only on year 2 of pregnancy/breastfeeing. Some things that have helped me cope:<br><br>
DH does night duty for a night. He'll bring Karen to me when she wants to nurse, wait for her to finish, then he TAKES HER AWAY. I often find that two nights of this makes for a whole new mommy.<br><br>
I go out for a walk by myself. Again, I seem to need to do this 2-3 days in a row for me to feel like ME again.<br><br>
It's great to have support from others who have been there and can reassure you that you are doing the best for your baby. Can you attend a LLL? I call the monthly meetings "Breastfeeding Cheering Sessions." I generally come home feeling a lot better about our decisions. Our group has a meeting for dads as well once every 4 months.<br><br>
I hope you can get some time to yourself soon!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks coleslaw, a little respect always feels nice! It is hard sometimes and I forgot to mention ds (and me!) can't eat peas, raisins, grapes or strawberries. These are the easy ones, it's the corn and dairy that are IN so many things that make life difficult.<br><br>
Geofizz- I wish I could attend a LLL meeting. We live in a town of about 700 people with even smaller towns around us, so there aren't any that I know of. I could drive to our nearest city, which is about 30 minutes away, but that doesn't seem worth it. I would like to go though. I'll see what I can find out.<br>
Luckily, I don't have to worry about night nursing, ds has been sleeping 10 hours a night for about 2 months now, thank goodness! You're right, you feel like a new person with a good night of sleep.<br><br>
Again, I thank you for your support, this is THE BEST board I have ever been on.
 

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(((((((Steph))))))))<br><br>
I am sure it is incredible difficult to nurse through allergies. You are giving your child the best defense against having allergies later in life by nursing.<br><br>
We all get touched out and exhausted and I certainly wouldn't hesitate to offer another mom sympathy for feeling streched thin.<br><br>
Have your dh take care of the bedtime routine, like baths, brushing teeth, reading while you read or try and relax a little. I know how hard it is to get through one of those rough bumps. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I should have said in my first post that no only do I think that it's awesome to nurse past a year, but awesome to cosider that weaning wasn't the best choice. I hope my post was gentle and supportive as well as motivating, the way I meant for it to be.<br>
Lauren <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Steph,<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> To you girl, for making it to 18 months! Truly awesome in a world where a lotta Mama's don't make it past 6 weeks!<br><br>
You have given your babe the BEST possible start in life. You've gotten some great advice here. I just wanted to add this:<br><br>
In order for us to be good mommies, we MUST take care of ourselves. This goes waaaaaaaaay beyond putting ourselves first, which as Mamma's, we seldom do. I read this analogy in a parenting journal and it is sooooooo apt, so we adopted it in our house <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">! It's the 'PUTTING ON YOUR OWN OXYGEN MASK' one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">. You know how they tell you in the airplane safety routine to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting your children? This is so that you don't pass out and become unable to help them. Dh will look at me as I gulp down a MUCH needed glass of water, while ds whines at my foot, wanting some as well and say 'Putting on your own oxygen mask dear?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">.<br><br>
If you feel it's time to wean, after making it this far, no one should judge you for it! You know your baby and I'm sure he will let you know if he's REALLY not ready to be weaned. You have to do what's best for EVERYONE involved. You'll make the best decision for you and your little guy, Mama!<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> to you and yours!
 

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Steph, I would urge you to drive that 30 minutes. LLL is definitely worth it, if you can swing it and your kids can stand the car ride (or leave them with your dh).<br><br>
I can't imagine the limitations you must be under diet-wise to accomodate your son's allergies. Bravo to you! 18 mo is great.<br><br>
When I read postings like yours, I realize how easy my own nursing life has been so far (knock on wood).
 

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It can be hard to do the elimination diet thing for an extended period. My DD reacts to dairy, soy, wheat, rice, corn, peanuts, almonds and onion (and possibly other things that I haven't discovered yet). I've also been pregnant and/or nursing for the past 6 years 4 months. I've been nursing two for 3 years 7 months, and I've been nursing three for the past 7 months. I understand where you're coming from. I really do! I'm not taking the challenges lightly. Sometimes it sucks. You're still the mommy, and you still have to do the right thing for your kids.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Yikes! Now I feel like I don't have any milk. Does anyone know of a way to get my supply back up besides lots of water? I hope it's not too late. Thanks everyone!<br><br>
Steph
 

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Expect it to take 2-3 days to increase. The best thing is just to nurse as often as possible. Try lying on the bed with a boob hanging out a couple of times a day (seems like no nursling can resist the breast in plain sight, no matter how recently they've nursed), or take a bath together.<br><br>
You could "cheat" and take herbs like Fenugreek for a faster boost. I took Fenugreek and Alfalfa when I was working and pumping.<br><br>
Also check out <a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/low-supply.html</a> and <a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/fussy-while-nursing.html#flowpreference" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...flowpreference</a>
 

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It will come back, don't worry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Fenugreek and alfalfa definitely help, and there is Mother's Milk tea, I think Weleda also makes a nursing tea. Good luck, I have faith in you- you are doing a great job. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br>
Lauren
 

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I am glad you are feeling better. I just wanted to add BF is the BEST thing you can do for an allergic child. My son is dairy allergic, and I am so relieved he is BF! (24 mo) Soy or rice milk just don't have the fat a young child needs for brain growth! And BM coats the intestinal tract making it harder for allergens to pass through and cause a reaction. So if your little one accidentally got ahold of something with dairy or corn in it the recaction would be worse if you were not BF, and the body would produce more antibodies. Also, BF and avoiding the allergens is his best chance to outgrow the allergies! Many children do outgrow them. So hang in there mama, you are doing a great thing!!<br>
Karen
 
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