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Well, every child is so different when it comes to nursing, but here's what we've been doing.

When my ds turned 2 in May, we nightweaned. We had tried this 6 months earlier and it was a no go - he got too upset. But it went pretty well, and within a week he was pretty much no longer expecting to nurse when he woke up. I would still nurse to sleep and first thing in the morning.

This made his daytime nursing pick up, so I just went with that for a month or so. Just in the last few weeks I have started telling him that we are only going to nurse 1 time before naptime, and 1 time before bedtime (not including nursing to sleep for each). He still asks constantly, but 90% of the time he is hungry or thirsty or bored, so getting him something to eat or drink or other just playing with him usually solves it. I don't let him get really upset or anything, but I have definitely started setting limits on nursing just for the hell of it. He was doing a lot of nursing for 3 seconds and then popping off kind of stuff, which was starting to bug me.

Anyway, I don't know if we're truly on the path to weaning or not, but at 28 months he doesn't nurse in the middle of the night, he nurses to sleep for naps and bed (unless I'm not home, and then dh can put him down just fine), when he wakes up in the morning or from his nap, and then 2 additional times a day. This seems to be working pretty well for us so far.

But "don't offer, don't refuse" didn't work for me, because if I don't refuse, I would be nursing every 20 minutes! For us the greatest help was explaing each step to ds as we went, and reminding him again and again. And making sure that it was something I felt he was ready for.
 
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