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Weaning and Mom's Feelings

599 Views 4 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Gagesmom
My 16 mo ds has not nursed for the last 4 days. When I ask him if he wants nursing, he says no. He's happy, active, and content. I on the other hand am a mess. I feel like crying, is it the hormonal change? I was prepared to do this for years! He used to be such a nursaholic. I have such mixed feelings about this because it is good timing with a surgery I have coming up next month where I will be away for 4 days, on the other hand I'm so depressed about it. Ugh. Thanks for listening.
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Serenity, I always chalk things up to the hormones!!

Know that no matter what you have given your child a great benefit by bf as long he wanted. And most things in life work out for a certain reason. Don't be surprised if ds comes back for a couple of sporadic feedings. And even if he doesn't, how cool that your child already knows what he wants. What an excellent job of mothering you have done. Blessings to you!!!
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It could be hormones I guess, but I dunno. I tend to hear that as a way to discount emotions so I don't like it. I think you need to acknowledge that something very important and very special to you is passing on. It's okay to be sad about that. It's okay to discuss it for what it is, without "excusing" it. Breastfeeding my daughter is still very, very important to me at 3 y/o. I have friends at LLL who have weaned their youngest at 4 and 5 and they get a little misty eyed when it comes up. Your feelings are valid and normal. As long as you aren't using them to coerce your son I see no problem with them.

All the best to you and your boy!
Thanks guys, I guess I was just surprised at the intensity of my feelings when it seemed like it should be more about him. I mean, I was doing this for him and if he doesn't need/want it anymore I feel like I should be okay with that. And I guess I am, but I was surprised at how sad it made me. I guess with AP though you are following the child's lead and he's letting me know what he wants. Just trying to talk out loud and make sense of my feelings. Thanks again for listening!
I'll never forget the last time my son nursed. He was 22 months old and he nursed for about 30 seconds before he fell asleep. I was 7 months pregnant and thought I would be relieved when he weaned, but I was surprized to find that what I really felt was wistful and sad.

My DD was never a great nurser and I have been having major health issues since she was 4 months old that have had me in and out of the hospital. She started taking supplemental bottles at 5 months and by 9 months she weaned completely. The last time she nursed I happened to not have a top on after a shower and was on the floor with her, and she reached up for me and latched on and nursed for about 10 mn, with a big grin the entire time. She never showed interest again after that.

I think it's partly hormones but also just a realization that that special time that only you and your child can share is in the past. It is sad.
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