[LydiaJW]

My DD is 17 months. I really wanted to nurse her until the WHO recommended 2 years, but our new baby is due on her 2nd birthday, and I really don't want to tandem. Also, my nipples are killing me!! And instead of being less interested in nursing, like I thought she may be, now she wont sleep unless she's latched on the WHOLE TIME. Its killing me, it hurts so bad!! I want to wean her, but not sure if I should, or when I should. My nipples are aching even when she's not nursing, and when she latches on it hurts so badly. I'm trying not to be a baby about it and put her first, but I just don't know what to do!!

Any advice would be so helpful!

 

[Savmay]

Weaning is such an individual choice and just know that whatever you decide to do, no one can make this important choice but you!
That being said, one of the most difficult times to wean is right before the new baby arrives. This is often traumatic for the toddler b/c they feel they are being replaced by new baby. They are not give the breast but shortly see a new little one who does get to nurse! If you are not going to tandem nurse, it would be a good idea to think about weaning sooner rather than waiting until the end of pregnancy. Also, weaning can be a longer process than sometimes you might imagine, especially if you want to do it gently!
I weaned my son around two years old b/c his father and I were planning to split up soon and I didn't know if I could handle nursing the stress of moving out, ect.. I had thought I might last longer, but at times we have to really think of our own sanity. Also, I had noticed that I often felt resentful while nursing and this was not the kind of energy I wanted to nurture my baby with.
I have worked with many families who have both a toddler and new baby (I was a postpartum doula) and noticed that the toddler could really enjoy the role of "big sister/brother" when given the opportunity. If you decide to wean, that could be an important focus when your toddler sees the new baby nursing!
many blessings to you!

 

[Wild Flowers]

I would really reccomend going to a LLL group in your area. Or seeing if you could check out Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower. It helped me a lot. I did stick through it because I had such sweet thoughts of tandem nursing. And it was sweet. I really think it helped my dd adjust to a new baby. But it is YOUR choice, and I agree you need to do what is right for your family. The book/LLL should help you sort your thoughts and give you ideas on how to wean if that is what you decide. I wish you luck. I have weaned my dd now down to just morning and night nursing because of sore nipples. It isn't easy, but that is about all I can handle right now. It does help if I read or practice my breathing while nursing. To get through the pain.

 

[amj'smommy]

Man can I commiserate on the sore nipples...... OUCH!!!!! My ds is 22m and shows no signs of weaning anytime soon. During the day I'm trying to distract him with activities or something to eat/drink when he wants to nurse. He still does nurse to sleep for his naps and at night. We co-sleep and he does wake up 2-3 times to nurse.... not for long periods of time though. I'm kinda hoping he might self wean due to the pregnancy.... I do still have milk though so we'll see what happens there. I guess I really don't have any advice just sympathy.
btw.... I clicked on your signature.... you're gorgeous!!!

 

[coffeetastesgood]

Maybe wait until your milk supply drops... at some point in your pregnancy your milk will probably dry up. At that point maybe you can use that to your advantage if it is really bothering you.

 

[sparkprincess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by coffeetastesgood Maybe wait until your milk supply drops... at some point in your pregnancy your milk will probably dry up. At that point maybe you can use that to your advantage if it is really bothering you.

This is what I'm planning on doing. My ds is 25 months right now and I wouldn't mind not nursing for a while before the new baby comes. Having said that, if my supply doesn't drop or if he is persistant, I'll probably keep going and end up tandem nursing just because I want the weaning to be super gentle.

Sigh. I totally know where you are coming from on the pain. I dread each nursing session.

 

[cinnamonamon]

I feel your pain. It's worse sometimes than others, but when it's bad, it's BAD. I'm at the point where I'm actively hoping to dry up soon. Of course I'm also nursing my 3 1/2 year old (at bedtime & at wake-up only). I honestly can't wait to wean them both. I feel guilty about not giving ds2 the extra year, but he's so different from ds1 I can see him being very aggressive with a baby -- he doesn't like to share the nursies at all! He's also way more attached to dh than ds1 was/is, so it's easier to hand off a bit of the nighttime parenting to him (which is when the most determined nursing happens).

I think he's also upped his nursing during the day as an attempt at increasing my supply (not to mention for pain relief from getting his 2 year molars).