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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 4 year old has taken to biting my 2 year old and it must stop. We already do the "bite a carrot not your sister thing" and give him something to bite. We talk about it and reinforce that even if she does X it does not give the right to do Y.<br><br>
Anyway... I'd like to better explain the possible medical consequences of biting so he has a deeper sense of what biting could do to someone.<br><br>
I want some pictures and a simple list. My initial google search was not very enlightening. Anyone have any pointers on where to start?
 

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I don't know where anything like this is, but I feel that you might want to rethink this before going ahead with showing your 4 year old human bite pictures. I'm a social work student and as part of a class had to view images of children with bite marks. It made me feel squeamish and edgy. I think it could be damaging for a young child to view such images. Maybe you could visit the gentle discipline forum for some other ways to get the point across? I'm much more into doing time outs for stuff like that, but I know that not everyone agrees with time outs.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>wemoon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10754010"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't know where anything like this is, but I feel that you might want to rethink this before going ahead with showing your 4 year old human bite pictures. I'm a social work student and as part of a class had to view images of children with bite marks. It made me feel squeamish and edgy. I think it could be damaging for a young child to view such images. Maybe you could visit the gentle discipline forum for some other ways to get the point across? I'm much more into doing time outs for stuff like that, but I know that not everyone agrees with time outs.</div>
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Ditto this.
 

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The most I would do is show him pictures of his sister's bite, so he has a better understanding of what he did to her. I wouldn't show him random human bite marks, though. I also don't know how much a 4 year old is going to grasp the medical consequences of a bite, beyond "it hurts and leaves a mark".
 

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I would not give him a carrot to bite. It is not like he has some sensory-based need to bite at this age. His biting is aggressive and by giving him a carrot, you are reinforcing the behavior. Also, just saying "bite a carrot, not your sister" is not going to stop the behavior either.
 

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The current research project of my dh and his students (he is a computer science professor at a state university) is putting together a human bite mark database for the FBI to use like they do fingerprints.<br><br>
Believe me... you do not want to show a small child pictures of what one human can do to another human with their teeth. Find another way to teach this lesson. Occasionally seeing the pictures dh uses to do the mapping calibration makes my adult stomach turn and gives me nightmares. I can't imagine what it would do to a young psyche.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the replies...<br><br>
I guess my thought behind showing him pictures is that words seems to go right through him (think the adults speaking on a Charlie Brown show) at this stage, and images are something he is interested in so in my early thought process looking at pictures together would be a foundation for an engaging conversation re the possible consequences of bighting in the way he learns best right now.<br><br>
The carrot thing was from a list I am on, but is probably more appropriate for my two year old than my four year old.<br><br>
My son is 4.5 years old. He a usually a gentle and affectionate kid, just started preschool in January and loves it (good behavior there). We're in this fuzzy place re discilpline right now. We like natural and logical consequences... but seem to need something more to curb this recent aggression.<br><br>
We've considered:<br>
a return to co-sleeping<br>
reducing daycare hours in our home (I offer part-time care. He has not been aggressive with the other kids, just his sister).<br>
adding a more predictable routine to our day<br>
making sure he gets some weekly one on one with each of us<br>
giving the kids their own rooms<br>
even trying time out - in the past I have considered it not the right thing for our kids, but I am at a loss. I need something gentle, yet effective because I need to keep his younger sister safe.<br><br>
I would love more thoughts on how to stop this biting thing. Its like he is testing it out to see what we will do.
 

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Do you have the children's book "Teeth Are Not For Biting"? It's a good one.<br><br>
I'm not a time-out fan in general, preferring gentle discipline of course, but there are exceptions. And I think time outs would be appropriate in this situation. Not as punishment, per se, but as a way of setting clear physical boundaries. If your son can't be physically close to his sister without biting her, then a logical consequence is that he spend a bit of time in a separate room/part of the room until he has calmed down, so that his sister can continue to play/do whatever without being hurt.
 

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Try this book:<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FConnection-Parenting-Through-Instead-Coercion%2Fdp%2F1932279768%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_sr_1%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1205615853%26sr%3D1-1" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Connection-Par...5615853&sr=1-1</a><br><br>
Also, talk to him from his perspective: "What would it feel like if someone bit you? Would you be mad? Would it make you unhappy? Would it hurt? That's how your sister feels, too. We don't bite people in our family." (Said in the nicest tone possible.)
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
we've done the talking bit - "how does/ would it feel?" etc. and he keeps lashing out anyway.<br><br>
just ordered both books - Thanks!
 
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