week of June 14

Piglet68 · Jun 14, 2004

October Mamas Roll Call <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/belly.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="belly"> 
momtol&a 
snugglebutter 10/01 
mirthfulmum 10/03 BOY! Harrison Eliot Smith 
TracyK 10/04 
mhurst 10/04 
kraftykathy 10/04 
Jillerina 10/04 
water 10/06 
Proudly AP 10/08 
mayasmama 10/08 GIRL! 
FutureMama 10/09 BOY! 
bluehalo 10/10 BOY! Noah Daniel 
allformyboys 10/11 
Lucysmama 10/12 
bendmom 10/12 
momadance 10/13 
Mandi 10/14 
rhemp 10/14 
wannabmommie 10/15 
krnflwr 10/16 GIRL! 
gmvh 10/16 TWINS! BOY! and GIRL! 
Piglet68 10/18 BOY! Sasha Adam 
MommyMuse 10/19 
BeansMomma 10/20 GIRL! 
CourtneyandLogan 10/21 BOY! 
EmbersMOM 10/21 BOY! Oakley 
Stanleymama 10/23 BOY! 
gottaknit 10/24 
3boyz4us 10/24 
Ctmom70 10/24 
Kim22 10/24 BOY! 
aspiring mama 10/25 
truebluexf 10/27 
Soogie 10/27 
ameliabedelia 10/29 
flitters 10/30 
BeauGeek 10/30 
AnnR33 10/31 
guinnessinu 10/31 TWINS! BOY! and BOY! 
Hello, everyone! Hope you ladies all had a fab weekend. I took DD for a walk in a local park (yes, I discovered there is actually a pretty lovely park not far from us!) and it felt great to get some exercise. I felt "good" fatigued at the end of the day. Question of the Week: Any plans for father's day? For those PG with their first, will you be celebrating? 
I haven't decided what to do yet. I will get a card, of course, but the budget doesn't allow for much of a gift. I'll be looking for clever ideas from you all! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

kraftykathy · Jun 14, 2004

We had a nice weekend too. Isn't it great to finally be getting some summer weather (if you are a northern dweller like me that is, lol!) 
We took the kids to a civil war re-enactment on Saturday which was lots of fun. I was a little worried as my son has some mild sensory integration issues and doesn't like loud sounds, but he covered his ears and was able to stand the skirmish. My daughter is very interested in history so she especially enjoyed it. And I love re enactment people, they are such a wild bunch! 
I think we will get dh something for the garden or yard for Father's day. Maybe a tree of some sort? We just moved to this place in January and it has such a fantastic yard and garden, we both have tons of ideas to expand on it. 
Since yestarday the baby has been so active! I think it is because of the position the baby is in now. Baby's head down today I think. So I'm getting lots of activity you can easily see and feel. The whole family can get a chance to experience the baby's movements now which is so nice since I've been feeling the baby already for 8 weeks, lol! Plus fewer bumps to the bladder which is always a good thing, hee-hee! My 9 year old daughter was lying with her head on my lap and got kicked, she was so amused! I love this part of pregnancy! 
Kathy

Wabi Sabi · Jun 14, 2004

Nope, no Father's Day plans. Silly question, but when is it? I had thought that it was yesterday. Is it not until next week? 
Both my father and my husband's father (as well as our grandfathers) are dead, so we don't really ever have reason to do the whole Father's Day thing. My husband acted like I was crazy when I asked if I got to celebrate Mother's Day this year ("Huh? Why? You're not a mom YET!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> ) so I guess I won't be doing anything for Father's Day for him. 
I'm on vacation this week and it is wonderful! I flew down to Austin, TX on Saturday to visit my best friend who moved here last year. She's been nagging me to come visit for a while, now that the baby is on the way I finally made time to come because its pretty much now or not at all for a long time! I'm flying home tommorrow, my husband will pick me up from the airport and then we're going camping for the rest of the week. This will be the first non-backpacking camping trip we've taken together and since we'll be car camping, my pregnant self insisted on a full-sized air mattress this time around! 
As for the posts late last week about African-American babies, I've had some unusual dreams myself. I haven't dreamt about having a Black baby, but a couple of nights I had a dream that I was an elderly Black man with my wife out working in the fields when a white man started beating me for suppossedly having relations with a white woman. I woke up upset, then went back to sleep only to dream that I was a little Black girl, maybe seven or eight years old, being beaten by the principal of my school. Bizarre and disturbing, eh? 
On a lighter (and funnier) note several weeks ago I had a dream about struggling to nurse my newborn baby. I woke up topless clutching my little 9 pound dog to my breast- He seemed quite content to be snuggled in between my bare boobs! All I could do was laugh, and when I woke my husband he laughed and poked fun at me for trying to breastfeed the dog!

bluehalo · Jun 14, 2004

We had a nice weekend too. 
QOTW: Father's Day ... Ethan will make DH a card, and I bought him a grilling cookbook. Definately nothing big budget. We'll probably cook out and have our families over, but that's about it. Grandpas get cards and small gifts too.

mayasmama · Jun 14, 2004

So far no plans for Fathers Day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> My parents are having their annual party on Saturday so we will go to that, but as for a gift, I have a feeling I will be going out on Friday to find something <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> 
I am feeling pretty good. Lots of movement and some definate pelvic achiness that goes away with support from pillows when I lay down.

ameliabedelia · Jun 14, 2004

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Yesterday I totally thought was Father's Day. I kept thinking, I need to call my dad. So, I called my parents, my mom answered and I just told her that I called to tell dad Happy Father's day. She was like "Father's Day is next week" I kept saying "are you sure? are you sure? I am sure it is today?" Than I went and looked on my calendar, and sure enought it is next week. LOL. Gotta love pregnancy brain, my whole brain is all muddled and foggy! 
Anyway, we will make DH a card, and probably I will bake him some cookies (the kind with m + m's in them), that is about all we can afford. And, I will call my dad and send him a free e-card. 
Futuremama, that is tooo funny about nursing the dog. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

Lucysmama · Jun 14, 2004

FutureMama- I've been having breastfeeing dreams, too. In one I dreamt I had a son, and totally forgot to feed him till day 5. I wondered why he was crying so much! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"> I am also having dreams about having latch problems, which was my major problem with dd. Those suck. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It's just like it was with her...the baby is screaming and arching its back, and refuses the breast. I am fumbling and frustrated and crying. Not fun. 
QOTW: I don't know what we will do for Father's Day, if anything...dh will probably have to work. Maybe we'll go out to dinner, maybe give him a card and something small. I have taken a lot of portraits of Lu lately, so maybe I will frame one for him. I don't know. 
Piglet- hope you get your heart-issue figured out!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Are you worried?

gottaknit · Jun 14, 2004

We're buying a gas grill for Fathers' Day. We've been thinking of getting one for a couple of years anyway (we currently just mooch off of the neighbors whenever they fire up their BBQ). I'm hoping that if there's an open flame involved then DH will be more excited about helping out with the cooking! :LOL 
He had some nice weather over the weekend and I completely over did it on the gardening. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Achy achy back. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">

Jillerina · Jun 14, 2004

I also had a great weekend with DD and DH. We went to the park a few times and played in our courtyard. DH pulled out the hose and had DD in fits of giggles running through the shower. She kept laughing and then yelling "all wet!" like it was a surprise each time. 
I would love father's day to be just like this weekend- relaxed and fun. DH and I don't do gifts for mothers day and fathers day but we both help DD make a card for each other. I'll probably cook something he really likes for dinner that night. 
I wanted to ask if anyone is experiencing the same kinds of disturbing thoughts/dreams I'm having these days. They are always very morbid and involve DD getting seriously hurt or even killed. For example everytime DH takes her out on the bike now I start thinking about them having an accident and running through these awful situations in my head. I think my dreams are also morbid though I don't always remember them but when I wake up in the middle of the night I feel this terrible pain in my gut like when something awful happens. Is this normal hormone related pregnancy thoughts or is something messed up in my brain? I hope to God that none of this is premonition or prophecy, but I have to admit it frightens me a lot. Here's hoping it is just a result of all the chemicals roaring through my body right now!

Lucysmama · Jun 14, 2004

Laurel - 
I get dreams/thoughts like that too....I think it's because I am fiercely protactive of dd, and I have a lot of added hormones, too. 
If I am holding her while I stand next to a balcony, I think, "Oh god! What if I tripped and fell and she went sailing over the balcony?!?! Would she be ok?!?!" And usually picture it in my mind. It's not something I fantasize about at ALL, but something that pops in my head and makes me tighten my grip on her protectively. I also fear her running into the street, getting in an accident with dh, etc...always with this fear and panicky feeling. 
I think I am just feeling a lot of Mama-Bear feelings due to hormones lately.

Piglet68 · Jun 14, 2004

Jillerina, I too had some very disturbing dreams. But I assumed they were triggered by a book I'm reading. In the book ("Mother Nature" - it's about the evolutionary and biological origins of maternal behaviour) there is a passage that describes infanticide in humans. They've already discussed it in primates, where bands of invading "outsider" males kill the infants so the mothers will go into heat again. But the description of human infanticide was horrific. It was an eye witness account from a tribal woman in South America whose tribe was invaded. I can't even write it here, it makes me sick every time I think of it. I have had a hard time getting those images out of my head. Last night I had a bad dream about something happening to DD. I don't even remember what it was now. But even awake I find these images coming into my mind. I feel so lucky to live in a time and a place where the chances of that happening are remote, but it blows my mind to think of how many women throughout history have watched while their children are brutally murdered in front of them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"> 
I'm off to the heart clinic soon. I'll let you all know. I'm a bit worried, probably b/c I study this stuff and know how serious it can be. But I also know it is not uncommon, and since I felt good after my walk yesterday, I'm more reassured. There could be a very benign explanation, and the docs think it is unlikely to be serious. I'll let you know how it goes!

mirthfulmum · Jun 15, 2004

I too have been having very morbid thoughts about Alias. It comes up all the time now. When I'm driving and he's in the car I often think about what I would do if we were in an accident. Or at the playground I envision him falling off the top of the jungle gym. Or when we go for a walk I imagine that a car could come up onto the sidewalk and run him over. I now find myself checking in on him during nap time to make sure he's still breathing. I have to stop and remind myself that I'm thinking crazy. I feel like I'm on high alert all the time. I agree with you all. It must be that our momma instincts are just reved up into high gear. I hope it dosen't get worse when the newest little guy arrives. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"> 
QOTW: I have been trying to think of something to get DH for Father's day for a few weeks now. I'm going to help Alias make a picture card of the two of them, but I really don't know what to get him from me. I'll probably just end up at a book store frantically looking for something at the last minute, like I did last year. 
I don't know if I've mentioned it here but this weekend I'm heading out of town, all alone <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!">. For Mother's Day, DH surprised me with a five day trip to Massachusets (I think that's how it's spelled) to visit a friend who manages the box office at Jacob's Pillow (a dance festival). So on Thursday morning I fly off to attend the opening Gala and see a few events and DH is taking the 5 days off of work to be full time dad. As Dh told me when he gave me this gift, this is my last chance in for a while to relax and enjoy some 100% me time before Harrison arrives. I am so nervous about leaving Alias. I know that he'll be alright without me. He'll be with his dad the whole time. And Alias has twice now experienced his dad leave on a trip for a few days and come back. And other than asking me where daddy was every few hours, Alias did very well. But this time it's me, his mommy, who is going away. I keep thinking that this is a huge mistake and that I should cancel my trip. But a little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me I'm over-reacting and that my son wil be fine without me. Dh has so many fun activities planned that Alias will probably have a blast. I have a couple of friends who have taken short little trips without their kids and left them with grandparents and they tell me everything went great. But they're not really AP parents (they're great parents, just don't follow the same parenting philosophy of co-sleeping, breast feeding more than a year, slinging...). Has anyone here ever taken a short trip without their children? I just hope I'm not crying hysterically as the plane takes off.

Piglet68 · Jun 15, 2004

22 weeks! 
Wow, I'm sort of glad to know these morbid thoughts aren't just me...It definitely must be some kind of maternal instinct overdrive thing. I think we have these thoughts partly to keep us on our toes, and also I think sometimes it's my way of registering my deep love for her. As if somehow imagining something awful happening, and the intense emotional reaction to that, is a gauge or a reminder of how deep and amazing this love is. Oh heck, maybe we're all just a bunch of hormonal mamas! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> 
Mirthful: that is amazing! what a gift! I know what you mean about being nervous though. Five days is a long time if its your first separation. But I'm sure Alias will have fun with his Dad. Emily didn't even ask for us when we left her with Grandma a couple weeks ago for our "first date". She had dinner with Mum and everything. Kids do surprise us. I'm sure you'll be calling home alot, and knowing he's happy will reassure you. I'm envious: I lived in Boston for a year and I love Massachusetts so much! 
Well, I went to the heart doc. My ECG looks totally normal, heart rate and BP are excellent. I'm now wearing an "event recorder" and I have to push a button when I feel my heart doing it's "skippy beats" thing. It's very reassuring to have this. I'm sure to have an episode within a few days, and then we can take a look at where it's coming from. At this point, everybody is sure it is nothing serious at all, since everything else is measuring so well. I'm mostly just looking forward to putting my mind at ease for good! My biggest fear now is being put on some sort of bed rest as the pregnancy progresses. I don't have time for that, lol!

blessed2bamommie · Jun 15, 2004

uhhhhhhhhh yall...I'm on the floor about now after a *several* hour call with my mom! (she's in the next city; but, its expanded local and I have the monthy flat rate thank God!) OK...where should I begin.... 
Well, she just asked me point blank if I'm having a natural birth. I asked her why? She said she knew my pain threshold. I kept asking her why. (was she onto me? did her best friend slip?) She said she just wanted to know. I said yeah in the water. She got reaaaaaaaaal quiet. She said is dh gonna get in and I said yeah. She said in the hospital? And I said yeah. I asked her what she was gonna do b/c she's back in school teaching. She said what? I kept asking her and she kept saying what and I said well, b/c I'll have the baby when you're in school. She said she felt like it should be between a husband and wife. That's what she did. Noone. She even came home to noone. Nanny asked if she wanted her and she said no. She said military people (I was on the base) respect that and there was noone as daddy ran sitz baths for her every four hours to try to shrink her bleeding hemerrhoids. She told me how daddy cared for her and me and I was crying. I haven't heard her talk about daddy like that. (he was killed when I was 12- drunk driver) She said she feels like that's the way it should be. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yikes">: She wishes MIL respected our wishes. 
OK! theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen she asks am I gonna use "real diapers?" I reluctantly say yeah. She said well you were in them you know? *insert faint* Did you think I used Pampers? I say yeah! She said NO! She used prefolds and pins. She liked them and she loved to fold them and put in the disposable liners and wash them and hang em up. (my mom's a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hyena.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hyena"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yikes"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I told her how things have changed and she was like WHAT! And she said well prefolds are cheaper and you don't have to change sizes. She said she liked to fold them and the baby will have prefolds when he's there! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> We talked about detergents b/c she loved the smell of them with Ivory Snow. I told her I was buying some from WAHMs to try. She was intently listening and asking questions. (I'm gonna score some diiiiiiiiiipes! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> ) 
OK, then I ask her why she didn't bf. She said daddy looked at her tiny tits and said maybe u better not! :LOL She said if she had me and little sis's (she says I got them down the road from my father's family), she wouldn't have hesistated. OK! Theeeeeeeeeeeeen she says she needs to get a rocking chair. I say well, I don't have the room now but I'll just use a pouch for movement for now. Mama: I had one! Me: on the floor again She put us on her back when she'd cut the grass and wore us on the front too! (I'm grabbing my pouch to show her too....) 
My mom rocks!!! 
I was soooooooooo afraid she'd think I was a freak! My mom was an aper before she knew it was AP! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> 
I'm so pumped I'll have to come back later for the QOTW!

mirthfulmum · Jun 15, 2004

Piglet - I'm so glad to read that your appointment went so well. Hopefully in the next few days you'll be able to get concrete proof that there's nothing to worry about. You've had more than your fair share of false alarms this pregnancy.

bluehalo · Jun 15, 2004

Piglet ... so glad your exam went ok ... I thought about you several times today! 
Mirthfulmum, I've had several shorter overnight trips without Ethan ... actually, I've only been away from him one night at a time (aside from when I had surgery when he was about 1.5 years old and was in the hospital for 2 weeks ... but DH brought him to me every day.) ... but for *fun* trips I've only been away for one night. Ethan's coped surprisingly well with each of the instances. I had a horrible time when I was in the hospital, I missed him so much <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> When I'd call and her him in the background I'd just start sobbing, esp. during the end of the two weeks. We cosleep, and he's never had a problem going to sleep w/ DH -- if I'm not there ... if I'm in the house, DH just won't do <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: Anyway, I hope you have a great time and don't worry too much! 
Re: morbid thoughts and dreams ... I too do the bad "what if" scenarios in my head re: DS ... DH and Ethan went up to Washington DC yesterday to meet my inlaws for a day at a museum ... I had a date with a girlfriend to take her to lunch for her birthday, so I couldn't go ... and I worried about them on and off throughout the day. I always send off a little prayer to the universe to keep him safe when DS goes off somewhere without me. Then again, just about everyone that knows me calls me overprotective. So be it.

OakEmber · Jun 15, 2004

I've also had some of the dreams too that you have mentioned, however I have a different theory (amatuer wannabe psycholigist that I am:LOL), I was thinking because everyone worries (subconciously) that by they will not have enough love for their second, that sort of thing, so I think it stems from a worry of replacing your first...make sense? I don't know if I have explained myself well...but I did notice that all of us with these thoughts/dreams our pregnant with our seconds. Of course hormones would have major influence on us too but I think that part of it is psychological. Worried that we somehow damaging our children, and the symbolic death of our relationship with them never being the same again. That's my take on it anyway, very interesting to see that it is a common thing. 
QOTW- For Father's Day, Dh chose his own gift...a new fishing rod. Since I know nothing about fishing rods he got to pick it out :LOL....we also got my dad one as they go out fishing together. He will have to wait until then to use it so Ember and I can "give" it to him. I think we will have a nice dinner together with my parents and my sister's family like we did on Mother's Day. Probably stuffed mushroom caps and whatever the men feel like eating. Maybe fish that they went out and caught...or something from the seafood store.

Jillerina · Jun 15, 2004

I have to admit I'm pretty relieved to know I'm not the only "morbid thinker" for lack of a better term. I've had all the same thoughts that were described and have also had to willfully shake them. OK, I'll just accept that this is part of my role as protective mama right now. Thanks guys, hearing it happens to other mom's really does make a differnce to me. 
Piglet - good news on the ECG. It is obviously important to check these things out even if they amount to nothing in the end. Peace of mind is soo important! 
Wannabe - that is wonderful news about your Mom. I imagine this information is going to make you two even closer after your babe is born. Respect for parenting is so important. I'm lucky I have it. 
Mirthful Mom - we are planning a 3 day weekend away from DD in 2 weeks. Clara has only been without DH or I one night before and it went super well. As a result we went ahead and organized this trip to an out of town wedding. We'll be spending much of the time in a car but who cares, it will be time alone for DH and I. I'm really confident that Clara will do well. She'll be seeing some of her favorite people in the world over those 3 days and I know she'll be kept so busy. I expect her to ask for us (I hope she does anyway!) but with so much preparation I'm sure she'll be fine with the answers she'll get. I've started talking about the weekend already, telling her what is going to happen and all that. It really seemed to help a lot last time so I'm sure it will be good this time as well. All this to say that I'm sure Alias and his dad are going to have an awsome time without you. So go, enjoy yourself and make the most of 5 days all about YOU!

Jillerina · Jun 15, 2004

Just read your post EmbersMom. What an interesting theroy on the morbid thoughts idea. I'll have to think about it some more to see how it feels for me. Who knows where this stuff comes from!

AnnR33 · Jun 15, 2004

Finally off to Seattle this weekend to buy a house! Yeah!! Ironically enough we were there for Mother's Day too-wierd. So I guess he'll be lucky to get a card... 
Things have been a bit crazy lately with all this moving stuff and I don't think I've been able to enjoy this preg nearly as much as the others. My 5 yr old DS comes to me and "hugs the baby" often so that's when I get to pause and enjoy it but otherwise it's a constant battle to keep the house clean to show and take care of moving details-schools, finding a mw and dr and trying to potty train DD-ya right LOL 
My only bright spot is fluffy mail lately-small dipes are soooo cute! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> 
Hope everyone has a good week! 
Ann

week of June 14

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