Weekly Chat: May 31st - June 6th

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Another Gemini! Cool.

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Yes, definitely. I get out of breath if I talk on the phone and walk around the house at the same time! DH notices it a lot.

Ditto on the BH contrax! Only I think mine are a little stronger.

IT's MOVING WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : :
Not quite everything is in boxes yet. We're picking up the truck on Friday mid morning and then leaving on Saturday. I got all the utilities cancelled for down here and will call to start service up there tomorrow. That still makes me feel like I've accomplished a lot. Oh, and I've filled out most of our "we've moved" address cards to send to f&f. Ds isn't sure what to make of it all. He's enjoying the new nooks and crannies created by all the boxes strewn about the house. But between all the moving stuff we've been doing and the night weaning in process (just couldn't take it any more... I'm a better person/wife/mother when I get more sleep), he's just a little confused. Poor guy.

Have I mentioned how excited I am that I'm finally leaving the south??? (no offense to those who live down here ) I'm just ready to be around people who make sense to me again. (really, the town I live in is a little backward and this move has been a long time coming.

I've already met some other MDC mamas who in the town/area we're going to be. And one of them even has a dc my ds's age!!! Yay. Moving is always a hard transition for me so I think that making friends right off the bat will be a good thing. I don't want to be cooped up inside all summer because I'm not sure where to go and what to do with my toddler in a brand new town.

On another bright side, I'm feeling much better overall. Not nearly as nauseous as before. And I think my appetite is starting to return as well.

Alright, enough of my long post. My clouds all have their silver lining polished and ready to go.

Amygirl, I was really breathless with my first pg this early on, but not this time around, yet.
Pg does weird things to our bodies!!! :

I'm here!

I've been experiencing the breathlessness, too....can't even walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing!

I think I overdid it last week--had a long day at work, then went to a concert (Alison Krauss & Union Station--they were fantastic!!). The next day, we settled on our new house. Between all of that, I was exhausted and had the worst headache. Spent all day Friday in bed with an icepack on my head. I really need to limit my activities and take it easy.

I think I'm finally showing--had my first comment today from a stranger and my first belly-pat from a co-worker! So I guess it's official! :LOL

Have a great week, mamas!

It's wonderful to hear that I'm not the only out of breath pregnant chick. We have 45 stairs leading to our house & they nearly kill me everytime. It sucks, really, but I tell myself it's good exercise, some days it's the only exercise I get! Haha. And ditto the walking & talking on the phone thing, I get all huffy & puffy when I do that, too.

Before my shower today I noticed I'm getting a linea negra on my belly & I'm so excited!! :LOL Hee. Just another pregnancy symptom to get excited about.

Beachbaby, I've been getting terrible headaches too. They seem to be related to stress & "overdoing it" for me too. It's so strange to go from an active bouncy person to a huffing & puffing person that gets a headache just from an afternoon of running errands in the sun.

Good luck on your move willemsmamma!!!

Reading that you all are feeling kicks, braxton hix, and stuff makes me almost jealous b/c I have not felt ANYTHING, yet. On top of not feeling anything, I am barely showing...and I have not had a drop of morning sickness. Am I really pregnant? Haha Don't get me wrong, I really am so thankful to not be sick or throwing up. Just funny not to "feel pregnant", you know? Oh, actually my breasts are bigger...how can I forget that?

I look back at the ultrasound pics and remember hearing the heartbeat when it seems that the physical symptoms (other than my free boob job) are not here.

I felt exhausted for a while there in the beginning but now have energy. I feel very social and want to go places and do things. DH and I went to a movie tonight which has not happened in months. We are going to a concert this Sat. (Tift Merritt) and next Wed. night (Ryan Adams) which I am so excited about!!!

So, don't be surprised when I flip out at the first sign of movement.

Don't feel bad - this being your first pregnancy you aren't going to show or to feel movement anywhere near as early as someone who has already had a few kids. I completely understand wanting some "symptoms" to hurry and show up, but four months is really still so early on. I honestly feel kind of freakish having a stomach as big as mine is at this point. Also, I normally don't get any morning sickness either and have lots of energy - that is a lucky trait during pregnancy, definitely enjoy it!

FWIW, I could still fasten a pair of normal jeans on my first wedding day with my first pregnancy- 21.5 weeks. The next day I popped and I had to go shopping for maternity clothes on my honeymoon. That was late, but not exceptionally so by all accounts.
Nothing new is happening here- Isaac still has chicken pox, Alex still hasn't got chicken pox, there's constant tears and tantrums because Isaac is overtired, but we're getting through it. The pregnancy is still textbook, but s/he is a wriggly little thing- I feel like a human hamster wheel. It's nice, but very VERY tickly at times.

Beachbaby and Zjande, I hear y'all on the huffing and puffing and headaches! I haven't figured out my "new limits" yet -- spending 15 minutes outside during the brightest, hottest part of the day is enough to get my head throbbing, and walking up a *slight* hill makes me breathless before I even reach the top. I have taken to slowing WAY down, and then trying to deal with the feelings of frustration at the disparity between what I could accomplish in a day four months ago and now.

I'm also trying to get rid of a really stubborn, low-level UTI. My midwife and acupuncturist/homeopathic practitioner are both friends and friends with each other, so I have this great feeling of being watched over by really wise women who are squarely on my side -- there's a whole list of things we're trying in order to avoid antibiotics. (Not all of them taste so good, but hey, it's worth it!)

And last week I finished both Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Peggy Vincent's Baby Catcher. I LOVED them, but both of the books made me super-conscious of the power of postive thinking and the mind-body connection. I'm starting to think of my complaining -- even just my complaining to myself -- as counter-productive to my overall health and enjoyment of this pregnancy. I'm not in the stage where I no longer feel the need to complain, though, just the stage where I feel self-conscious and somewhat guilty about it. (See complaints about minor physical inconveniences above.)

Moving begins this afternoon! Solidarity with my box-schleppin' sisters!

Teresa

Yay, moving! I'll be sending all my lifting and organzing vibes your way!

Hooray DID! That's wonderful! We meet with our prospective doula on Monday and I cannot wait! By the by, my birthday is on the 12th; we're practically twins!

OK mamas, I really need to ask for your help on something. I would start another thread but DH sometimes lurks and I would rather have a little privacy until I make some progress on this issue. It's not that uncommon really; I am just really uncomfortable with my MIL. I am so resistant to her being a part of my life, and even more freaked out about having to "share" this baby with her, or the experience of birth. I have irrational fears about her coming in and taking over the mothering, etc.

The truth is, she is a kind person and she hasn't done anything totally inappropriate regarding this baby. Part of the problem, I hate to say, is that I just don't really like her. I don't feel comfortable around her *at all* and she is generally trying to make us have a closer relationship, which I don't want at all.

Another piece of the puzzle is that I have pretty severe "mother" issues. My mother essentially abandoned me and my older brother when we were young (I was 7) so we were raised by our dad, whom I love to death and have a great relationship with. I finally stopped talking to my mom about 3 years ago and don't regret it at all. DH's mom, unfortunately, reminds me of my mom in many ways (in terms of personality and mannerisms) and there isn't much I can do about that. Also part of this whole picture is the fact that I was married before, and my ex's mom was *extremely* controlling and always made everything about her. Our wedding was about her, all vacations were about her, just everything. There were many things I felt were "taken away" from me by her, and I am still pretty scarred by that relationship.

I have been in therapy for the past year to try to deal with all of this (though I can't see my therapist anymore because he's 3 hours away, and not covered by my current insurance), and I've made peace with my issues with my own mom, but I just not sure what to do about DH's mom at this point. She seems to want to be HUGELY involved with this baby (whom she is already calling "her baby" which just makes me grind my teeth) and if I had it my way, I would not want her involved at all. DH definitely knows about my feelings, we've talked about it so many times, and I feel bad because he is kind of in the middle of this power struggle. Because of my own insecurities, I am just as guilty as she is in continuing the competitive aspect of our relationship.

My MIL does live about 1500 miles away, so I'm not worried about her dropping in or being here all the time or anything, but I am concerned about the feelings of possessiveness I may have when she is here. DH already explained to her that she cannot be here at the birth and that no one is coming until around a month after the baby is due, but I just have this feeling that I am not going to be gracious AT ALL when she is here, and I really don't want to be an insecure, possessive bitch! I want to be kind to her, and make her feel involved, because the truth is that I know she is a good and loving person. I wish MY issues didn't exacerbate this situation! I do believe that if I stopped pushing her away so obviously, she would settle down and stop trying to insert herself into the middle of this whole thing, ya know? Rationally, I know all of this!! I just can't seem to get ahold of my feelings though, and I would really like to make progress in this area before Babe is born.

So...do you guys have any insight you can share? I know that dealing with MILs is pretty universal, and maybe some of you who already have children have found successful ways to handle these kinds of things.

Hope you don't mind me hijacking the thread. Thanks though. I really need some support on this one.

I really just need to share some of the weirdness of the last few days, though it kind of goes back into last week. Because it helps explain my current state of mind. So this is gonna be long...

But first - yes, I get out of breath, too! Did with Sam, too, and it kind of makes me crazy, huffing and puffing all over the place.

First...flash back to Friday. Long weekend, got to get out of work early. First though I had a big meeting with my boss, which was fine, except that it was sort of about my future and for some reason I completely freak out when either talking about my professional future or presenting in front of a large group of people. Serious anxiety issue. I do great at interviews, but start talking "officially" about raises and stuff, and it all goes out the window. The whole deal - can't breathe, trembling, sweating, you name it. It just stinks. Everything was ok, but I really need to figure out how to get over this, especially if I intend to get any of the things I want here (any ideas???)

Then, my mom took me birthday shopping so I got a bunch of nice maternity clothes, and then I went home and was hanging out and DH was going to play poker. That night, the kids in the apartment next door had a party, which at about 3:30 in the AM resulted in threats of people shooting other people, someone going to the hospital, the cops coming, at least 2 kids getting arrested...Now, they are RIGHT NEXT DOOR, so I'm thinking, ok, how many walls are there here and will a bullet go through and kill me and my son? Fortunately it all got taken out of the building, but I coulnd't get back to sleep. I'm still pissed about it and want to move but there are a lot of reasons, mainly financial, that we can't do that until sometime next year. So that was all delightful.

The rest of the weekend was great.

Yesterday was really nice, too - my colleagues took me out for birthday gelato and DH made fantastic dinner, so it was really nice. But we got up too early this AM - Sam is having a growth spurt so he woke up at 6AM ready for breakfast....drank 1.5 yogurt shakes and then had a huge bowl of cereal. So I head off to work and the subway was crowded, but there was a seat, so I ask the lady who is takin gup 2 seats if she'd kindly move over so me and my unbalanced pregnant self can sit down (a simple, pardon me) and she begrudingly moves, but then the train lurches and so I sort of fall into the seat between her and the woman on the other side of the empty, and both of them get all pissed off, and then the woman on my right decides to yank her shirt out from under me where I fell - without saying excuse me or anything - so of course her shirt rips. I would have given her some money to get it stitched or whatever, and I apologized and she just started muttering under her breath about how that's what I get for sitting on her , and the truth is that to a certain extent I DON'T care because she shouldn't have pulled her shirt out without letting me know so I could lift my butt, but it was just bad karma.

Now today is going to be crazy at work with meetings and new programs and stuff, and then at least I get to look forward to my MW visit at 5 at my house.

And I'm looking forward to the weekend - Sam and I booked a cool vintage train tour of Staten Island, so we'll wake up early on Saturday, head down to the ferry and then go on the vintage train and tour old train factories out there and stuff. he hasn't been ont he ferry ever yet and he loves trains, so I'm super psyched!

samsmama sounds like you have had some interesting days..

i woke up feeling like Crap.. i stayed up past midnight watching a movie with my sister.. it was great ( i love huckabees) but when i woke up i felt like i was hung over and hit by a train.. i have a headache and im queezy.. blah! i did manage to choke down some breakfast ( some yogurt, half a toasted bagel and some nourishment tea) but i feel even worse now. the sun is out after 3 days of rain and i feel like i should take elwynn out and about but i want to sleep all day. tomorow i have to clean house for my elderly and sick grandmother who doesn't know im pregnant yet and its a lot of hand and knees scrubbing and if i feel like this tomorow ill probably pass out.. elwynn dad was around for a few days visiting with him but he called me yesterday saying he had some sort of sickness ( barfing and headachy) so i hope i havnt caught anything from him.. :

this weekend im going to take elwynn to visit friends on the sunshine coast.. its a quick and lovely ferry boat ride and i will get to meet my friends new baby, so im pretty excited.. i just hope im over this. she has 5 kids and there is no way id go if i thought i might get them sick. it is also the waldorf spring fair which i dont want to miss out on.. but we will see..

i guess ill odse up on homeopathics and try to take it easy today..

i hope you are all well

Amy, sounds like you are pregnant... and your pregnancy seems to be magnifying the sour sounding relationship you and your MIL have. I sort of have the same concerns. We'll be moving to withing a 1/2 hour of my MIL who is a combination of being annoying, controlling, forgetful and sweet. I have my reserves but in the end if she oversteps her boundaries (it's ALL about boundaries) it's best to just tell her. I know it's hard but you can't let her subvert your motherhood. Calling your child "her baby" would irk me too. As confrontational as I get when I am pg I would just tell her that it is MY baby, that she already raised HER baby, and that it really bothered me so if she cared about my feelings she would try and use another endearing term for the little one. That's kind of the nice thing about being pg... you can always blame confrontations on the hormones and people are usually pretty understanding.
I also understand the whole mother issue. I've been in counseling for it too... and am not even talking to my parents during this pg. It's all about boundaries. My therapist always says that no one or nothing can affect you unless you let them. And she also always says, it's only a thought and a thought can be changed.
You might like the book "A Mother is Born" by ? some long name. It was written by a psychotherapist about the changes (mostly emotional and psychological) that a woman goes through due to/during pregnancy.
If you feel like being a posessive b****, go ahead. It is your baby. www.unhinderedliving.com has an online childbirth class that has a page about instructions from new parents to friends and family. It might be a little more over the top than what you are looking for but look it up anyway. It might help you see that how you are feeling is actually a positive thing. Your baby has only YOU to look out for its best interests. And your intuition will tell you what those best interests are even if you can't rationalize it. Honor it and Follow it... it's the power of being a woman and mother.

MamaFern, I feel EXACTLY like how you described.

BeTheEarth, I felt the same way during my first pg. I had a pg notebook and wrote out tons of pg/labor/birth affirmations that I read everyday aloud and then had my friend read to me during my 5 hour transition. I think it really helped put my mind in a more positive state. www.empoweredmama.com and www.freebirth.com have some good ones to get you started if that's something you are interested in doing.

As for me, today has been a weird day. Besides not really feeling too well i had quite a bit of anxiety after talking to the midwife we are thinking of using. As most of you know, I still haven't seen anyone yet... a combo of the morning sickness lasting so long and the fact that we are moving out of state, it just seemed pointless. Anyway, it wasn't her, the MW, it was that she told me about the whole alegal situation with MW's in PA, where they could get thrown in jail if something went wrong and actually how doctors/hospital in the town we are moving to aren't really receptive to homebirth. so should something happen (during the pg or labor) to a mother who was using a MW the dr/hospital would give the mother a hard time. Whatever that means. But I just didn't want to hear that. I just want to live in my little bubble where pg and birth are normal processes that don't require intervention etc etc. I really hate having to deal with people who are going to "give me a hard time" just because I think and therefore act differently than most. :

Does anyone else feel like completely crashing after a meal? I have been feeling a lot like that lately. Like I literally have to lay down and then I get so tired that I just fall asleep for a short nap.