Weeks/Days along: 7 weeks 6 days (8 weeks tomorrow
Appointments: next appt: n/t screen on May 18 followed by OB visit
Symptoms: huge swollen sore boobs, bloated, gas, woozy/queasy off and on, cravings, smell aversions, moody, tired
Food: for the first time ever I am craving sweets, I try my best to abstain from eating total crap, but yeah, Cold Stone Creamery Cheesecake Fantasy is my weakness. I crave cherry taffy, blueberry or cranberry muffins. I try to choose healthy alternatives, but the only real healthy foods I want are strawberries and grapes, I can eat them both by the pound!! I am not thrilled with craving these things since I am already starting this pregnancy overweight (153 at 5' 2") and I have always struggled with body image issues so I am nervous.
Exercise: I took my youngest DS for a long walk in the bike trailer yesterday, it was more for my mental health than anything else though.
Body changes and other milestones: highly unattractive belly bloat, suddenly oily hair, constant gas
Thoughts: I have a lot to think about. I think what freaks me out the most is that no matter what happens, I am scared of it. So how do you deal with that? When every single possible outcome scares the crap out of you?
Plus right now there are more questions than answers about this baby's health. I had an abnormally high hCG level, higher than normal for twins, but only one baby on u/s. I have an asymptomatic subchorionic bleed between my cervix and amniotic sac. My progesterone isn't high enough (19 at 7 weeks 1 day), but if I take my suppositories nightly as prescribed, I become inconsolably depressed, unable to function. Today I just found out that my parvo titer came back + indicating, apparently, a past or recent infection -- who even knows
what that means. Certainly not my nurse, nor myself (also a nurse). So yeah. How do you deal with all the unknowns? Do I take the progesterone and make myself and everyone around me miserable to possibly prolong a pregnancy that may or may not even be healthy?? I don't know what to do. Right now DP and I have decided to leave it all up to Divine Discretion. Because I am so lost, and he doesn't know what to do or say or think about any of it. I pray a lot. Not for one thing or another, but just for peace with it all and whatever comes. Because I am so scared.