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Originally Posted by Mom4tot
I would disagree that this describes CLW. A mother must be sensitive to her child's needs and how he or she responds to limits being set. There are many decisions mothers make through the day and night in nursing their child, and some will encourage the nursing relationship and others will discourage it. How each child reacts will be different also.
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Agreed. But this is describing a respectful
nursing relationship, not a weaning. This could have been addressed on the late great Ext Bf board. There is now confusion whether this kind of scenario should be broached on the "Breastfeeding" forum or on "CLW."
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Arbitrary? I guess you mean, going by the calendar, not by the child's needs. Or, perhaps, a mother's need to leave the child to go to work or school.
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| patterns of feeding solids, night-weaning, all of these things can lead to premature weaning. |
Yes, and I would add one more: pregnancy.
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| Child- led weaning is simply that...the child leads the way. If the child needs to nurse several times a day, s/he does. |
I still think it is a mis-nomer. That child is not leading the way. The mother and child are making decisions together. It is a
relationship.
In no way would I let my child make all the decisions for her upbringing. Past the age of 15-18 mos, bfing included. I will respect and honor her input but the final decision (in bfing and in every other area), as a mature and aware adult, is mine.
Say Mom thinks it is time to go to library story hour with your 18 mo. Her child's opinion is it is time to sit around in her pjs and nurse on Mommy. It is Mom's right to decide, No, we will get dressed and washed up, put on our coats, get strapped into our confining carseat and go to the library! The child may object, but it ultimately makes for a more pleasant and educational and less stressful day for Mom and child (and the rest of the family).
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| If the child reacts negatively to giving up the 2 am feeding, even at age 2, then they continue to nurse until they are ready and able to give it up. |
This is a child respectful aspect of the bfing relationship, does not pertain to weaning, and could have been dealt with in the late great Ext Bf forum.
Define "negative reaction." We must differentiate between habit and need. A slight objection that goes away shows the desire to nurse was only a habit ready to be left behind.
Also, sometimes the child may have no desire to bf, but the mother encourages it b/c it gives her a little more time on the phone, computer, to watch her TV show or read her book. But this is part of the mutually beneficial bfing relationship and has nothing to do with the end of the relationship, ie: weaning.
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To me, it is a mindset that does not need a timetable, or a set idea of when weaning should happen. Many moms think about it and start out with certain 'comfort levels' ("we will nurse until he is 2"), etc., but that is expanded according to the child .
Most importantly, the child's needs are respected and honored throughout the nursing relationship. |
And I think we should strongly emphasize that there is a difference between a need and a habit. Sometimes a child may nurse extremely frequently b/c she is bored out of her skull. She
needs to have a different activity, but her behavior may make a mom who is "commited" to CLW allow the overly frequent and ultimately dissatisfying, for both parties, bfing continue.
The mother offers the option of not nursing and doing something more interesting, challenging and fun.
But again, this has nothing to do with weaning.
I feel the relationship of nursing is the important part. To have a forum focused on the
end of the relationship is confusing and is mucking up mothers' perceptions of MDC's values, I think. Other mothers have also expressed this to me privately.
