I have a new baby boy and I am questioning if I need to see the doc for well baby visits. He isn't going to be vaccinated and I know they will be putting pressure on me to do it. I know they do other things like weigh and measure him, but can't I just do that at home? My question is that as long he is healthy, why does he need to go? Any advice or comments would be appreciated. Thanxs.
Well Baby Visits
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The main reason we go is to cultivate a relationship with our doctor. If something comes up, we're more likely to get in right away and he has a clear view of what DS3's history is like so that he can help him better. He also knows how I parent and respects that and therefore is better able to work with us to find a solution that we can both agree on. He also learns from us - because DS3 is my fourth I have the strength to say what I believe and stand up for it. I like to think that it may help another mother in the future. I know that he does use me sometimes to show his med students how to deal with difficult situations (asked me about vax in front of his med student even though he knows my feelings and it wasn't a visit where we needed to discuss them - I could tell right away what he was doing so I just went along with it so that the med student could see that perfectly educated, normal, middle-class people choose not to vaccinate).
So that's my main reason. I also like going to get all the compliments on how healthy and cute my baby is!
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So that's my main reason. I also like going to get all the compliments on how healthy and cute my baby is!
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Welcome to mdc!
Here's my take on well baby visits...first, as long as your babe is healthy there is NO MEDICAL REASON to go. Especially if you don't plan on vax.
That said, I do take my children to well baby visits. I found a wonderful family practice doctor (they did my pregnancy care with dd1, and they care for our whole family now). They are homebirth advocates, support co-sleeping and exclusive breastfeeding till at least 6mo and extended breastfeeding as well (one is still bfing her 2.5 yo between office visits, and they have great LC on staff), are ok with selective/delayed/nonvax families, promote wellness and alternative health options, have gobs of information on nutrition, and they are wonderful with the way they respect and care for the children they see. My children love going to the doctor and some days when we walk by the office my 2yo will ask to go in just to say hello...and the office staff loves these mini-visits too, making dd feel welcome and loved!
But why do I go to well baby visits? Basically in case of an emergency. If something happened (a broken bone, a serious infection, a car crash or major fall off the playground slide, serious allergic reaction to something, whatever) and either of my children wound up at the hospital I want someone on the medical staff who knows my parenting philosophy and will support me (yes, I have final say as the parent but you can bet the hospital staff is going to listen more closely to a pediatrician than to the supposedly "uninformed/emotional parent"). I want my little one to see a familiar face there in the hospital...not just an on-call ped but the doctor she knows and trusts from happy office visits. I want to have a positive relationship with an individual in the medical community and I want my children to have this too. Just in case. And also so my kiddos know that this sort of relationship is possible...I want them to know that they can work with a doctor as a partner and that this is the sort of relationship they need to look for and demand during their adult lives.
Obviously, it took time and effort to find this family practice office...and if you ask around your local AP or natural family living community and just can't find a ped who will treat you and your decisions with respect then there probably isn't much to gain from well baby visits! But for the reasons I mentioned I do think well baby/toddler visits can be useful/helpful/important. And it's worth the effort to find that supportive partner if you can. Even if they don't agree with all your choices, as long as the respect is there...
Anyway, I'm rambling! Welcome to mdc!
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It's not just to have someone supportive of your philosophy. In case of an emergency that isn't immediately life-threatening, such as a broken bone, often one gets faster treatment at the hospital if admitted by the ped or family practice doctor rather than through the ER.
Originally Posted by wombatclay 
But why do I go to well baby visits? Basically in case of an emergency. If something happened (a broken bone, a serious infection, a car crash or major fall off the playground slide, serious allergic reaction to something, whatever) and either of my children wound up at the hospital I want someone on the medical staff who knows my parenting philosophy and will support me (yes, I have final say as the parent but you can bet the hospital staff is going to listen more closely to a pediatrician than to the supposedly "uninformed/emotional parent"). I want my little one to see a familiar face there in the hospital...not just an on-call ped but the doctor she knows and trusts from happy office visits. I want to have a positive relationship with an individual in the medical community and I want my children to have this too. Just in case. And also so my kiddos know that this sort of relationship is possible...I want them to know that they can work with a doctor as a partner and that this is the sort of relationship they need to look for and demand during their adult lives. |
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we dont do wbv....because we have a not so good ped who is into scaremongering about non vaccinating. i suppose though, once my son can get off of medicaid and we get into this non vax peds office that i have been wanting to go to....we will go just for the heck of it
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i dont really think the whole establishing a relationship with a ped thing is relevant, because in any emergency, you can always go to the ER and any doctor will treat you.
i dont really think the whole establishing a relationship with a ped thing is relevant, because in any emergency, you can always go to the ER and any doctor will treat you.
We don't go to the doctor. If it is an emergency , of course we go but I think that the "doctor knows best" mentality starts hen children are very yng and it just doesn't work for me. That said, my husband and I are both very good in emergencies. We don't fall apart or become emotional and we're both pretty well informed on the basics we'll fall into in an ER, like only signing consent forms with an added "with informed consent" after every clause. I don't feel that a pediatrician is going to help me fight the system, they may even encourage me to follow all protocol because they care about my child and trult believe that the system is best. I guess if you find an amazing pedi and feel really trusting of them, but otherwise, I don't sweat it.
I didn't and still don't do any well visits for DD1, who is 4y now, and has seen a doc a couple of times for various issues. I've never really done well baby visits for DD2 even though she has been inside the pedi office many a time, but she has some health issues. I've been on both sides of the issue, never had a a doc for DD1, and it worked very well for us, we never needed anything. DD2 has kept me hopping, by sheer chance I agreed (on DH's insisting) to take to her a pedi I had heard about, a week or so after she was born for an appointment. The pedi was nice, but I never thought I would see her again, but that wasn't the way it turned out. I was in and out of that office more times then I can count for 6 months. I do see how having a great relationship with a doc can make life much easier, we were able to go directly to the pedi floor on the times DD2 had to be admitted to the hospital, she would sit and actually listen to me, ask if I thought I could manage DD2 at home, and take my advice and opinions. I have someone I can call and knows our history, BUT if DD2 hadn't of been so ill then I never would of had this relationship, and I can't see still ever doing well child visits.
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We went to 3 WBV's. The first was with a pediatrician before we moved, and I loved her! She knew we weren't vaxing, and respect us for it. But the one we have now is...horrible toward us... And we're not going to any more WBV's. We don't need the stress, and the "care" they give can be done just as well and better by us and our ND.
we found a wonderful D.O. who is VERY pro BF and while I think she would prefer we vax, she goes thru the list with us on what she thinks is important. All she asks is that we read her literature and decide from there. We love her, she recommends teas and herbs for sickness and is pretty anti biotic. So visiting her is just fun! Its like a chat with a friend. Try and find a ped like that!
We do WBV's. We don't currently vax, although we may do some delayed and selective ones.
We go for the following reasons:
they make my husband feel better, and he's tolerant of a lot of my parenting ideas, so this is something I am tolerant of from him.
I like knowing that we're building a relationship with our doctor, who sees ALL of the family, so that if anything goes wrong medically, we're comfortable with her and how she works. My son also likes her, so he'd be more likely to do ok with her if he needed treatment.
I like knowing that we're on record with a doctor and that again we have a relationship with one, so that if anyone ever calls us in to CPS (no reason to worry, but yes, I am paranoid), we have a doctor on our side and records that we've been seeing one.
I do enjoy seeing how much my son has grown from one visit to the next, and hearing my doctor tell me how healthy and beautiful he is.
He does have an undescended testicle, so she's been keeping an eye on that and is referring us to an urologist.
That said, I wouldn't be so ok with going if we hadn't found a family practice which we love. The whole office is full of friendly people, they will schedule appointments within our family back-to-back (even 3 in a row if all 3 of us need to be seen) and all in the same room, so we can handle Isaac together while getting our medical needs seen to. Our doctor is supportive of extended nursing (even if she has some outdated advice and information) and supportive of parents making parenting decisions, even if they go against her advice. She did suggest nightweaning at 4 months, but after we made it clear we weren't doing that she said that (of course) it was our decision, she only advises. She never brought it up again, even when noting that our son still slept in our bed and woke at night at his 12 month checkup. It was a notation, nothing more. She's supportive of any vax schedule we choose or choose not to do. The office is great when we call in for worries after hours. Our doctor answers e-mails in a timely manner. She is also quite happy to NOT pump any of us full of drugs needlessly. She's great about looking up the safety of medications for nursing before giving me anything.
and she never retracts my intact son, and referred to retraction as "torment" when I mentioned how glad I was that she didn't.
We go for the following reasons:
they make my husband feel better, and he's tolerant of a lot of my parenting ideas, so this is something I am tolerant of from him.
I like knowing that we're building a relationship with our doctor, who sees ALL of the family, so that if anything goes wrong medically, we're comfortable with her and how she works. My son also likes her, so he'd be more likely to do ok with her if he needed treatment.
I like knowing that we're on record with a doctor and that again we have a relationship with one, so that if anyone ever calls us in to CPS (no reason to worry, but yes, I am paranoid), we have a doctor on our side and records that we've been seeing one.
I do enjoy seeing how much my son has grown from one visit to the next, and hearing my doctor tell me how healthy and beautiful he is.
He does have an undescended testicle, so she's been keeping an eye on that and is referring us to an urologist.
That said, I wouldn't be so ok with going if we hadn't found a family practice which we love. The whole office is full of friendly people, they will schedule appointments within our family back-to-back (even 3 in a row if all 3 of us need to be seen) and all in the same room, so we can handle Isaac together while getting our medical needs seen to. Our doctor is supportive of extended nursing (even if she has some outdated advice and information) and supportive of parents making parenting decisions, even if they go against her advice. She did suggest nightweaning at 4 months, but after we made it clear we weren't doing that she said that (of course) it was our decision, she only advises. She never brought it up again, even when noting that our son still slept in our bed and woke at night at his 12 month checkup. It was a notation, nothing more. She's supportive of any vax schedule we choose or choose not to do. The office is great when we call in for worries after hours. Our doctor answers e-mails in a timely manner. She is also quite happy to NOT pump any of us full of drugs needlessly. She's great about looking up the safety of medications for nursing before giving me anything.
and she never retracts my intact son, and referred to retraction as "torment" when I mentioned how glad I was that she didn't.
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Originally Posted by sea_joy That said, my husband and I are both very good in emergencies. We don't fall apart or become emotional and we're both pretty well informed on the basics we'll fall into in an ER, like only signing consent forms with an added "with informed consent" after every clause. |
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My dd will be one tomorrow
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: and the only baby well check she went to was with me to my 6week pp visit with my midwife. Other than that she has seen a doctor two times, one just to check her belly button cause it wasn't closing and the other was just the other day to remedy her Nurses Elbow, it took 10 seconds for the doc to pop it back. Other than that, I have tracked her weight and length, she is healthy and has had only two colds and just recovered from the chickenpox with no hitch!! As far as having a doctor lined up for a non-emergency situation, it would be nice but the docters I have found for these two situations were perfectly wonderful! They didn't even question me for not having a regular ped or for not vaxing..maybe I was just lucky.
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I do WBVs so that I have a ped for non-emergency things that require a doctor, and also so that if something is going on that I *don't* notice, the ped might notice it. I know moms who are very good about researching everything, yet they didn't notice their own child having a problem that was a symptom of developmental delay until they went to a WBV. These weren't your mainstream "let the doctor do all the research" type moms... These were MDC-type moms. Sometimes it helps to have an extra set of eyes around.
I also prefer to do things like iron testing, which obviously I can't do at home.
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If you're not vax'ing, you can stretch out the schedule a bit in the first year and still do WBVs. Just find a doctor that you don't have to argue with all the time.
Another reason I like to do WBVs is so that my kids aren't terrified of going to the doctor - ie, they don't just go when they need a needle stuck in them. My 3 year old loves going to the doctor, and he also goes along for my baby's WBVs, so he's not at all scared of the doctor.
All that said, if you don't go to WBVs, I don't think you're a bad parent. I just think they can be useful if you have the right doctor. If my only choice were a militant anti-bf'ing, vax-pushing jerk, then yeah, I'd probably skip them too. But since I have a pro-bf'ing, ok-with-delaying-vax, discusses-with-me-and-let's-me-decide, friendly ped, I'm cool with going to the visits.
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I also prefer to do things like iron testing, which obviously I can't do at home.
Another reason I like to do WBVs is so that my kids aren't terrified of going to the doctor - ie, they don't just go when they need a needle stuck in them. My 3 year old loves going to the doctor, and he also goes along for my baby's WBVs, so he's not at all scared of the doctor.
All that said, if you don't go to WBVs, I don't think you're a bad parent. I just think they can be useful if you have the right doctor. If my only choice were a militant anti-bf'ing, vax-pushing jerk, then yeah, I'd probably skip them too. But since I have a pro-bf'ing, ok-with-delaying-vax, discusses-with-me-and-let's-me-decide, friendly ped, I'm cool with going to the visits.
We do them because it is not within my comfort level to not do them. Ds is my first child, maybe with the next child I will feel more confident and ok with not going...
As pp have said, there is no medical reason if your dc is healthy, so if you are comfortable with assessing their health and growth on your own then you don't need to go. It is a personal choice, you have to go with your gut.
As pp have said, there is no medical reason if your dc is healthy, so if you are comfortable with assessing their health and growth on your own then you don't need to go. It is a personal choice, you have to go with your gut.
We also don't vaccinate. I don't do the WB visits because their main purpose is to vaccinate the baby at that time. Following a growth chart & listening to vital signs don't make it worth going. If I know my child is healthy, I don't bother with the dr. If we are in need of something, we go, but that's so rare anymore.
Shannon
Shannon
Thank you everyone! You have all given me a lot to think over. It's nice to see things from other perspectives. The family doc that I see, who saw me through the pregnancy, is a really nice person. I know her stance on vaxing is for it, but I think I will test her out and see how she reacts to my non-vaxing "news" and take it from there. Hopefully she will respect my choice.
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You can always just go to a few of them not all like the 2 month then 6 month then 1 year then once a year after that. I kinda wish I had done that but I didnt want to fight about the vax issue and ds is doing great. I weighed him on a baby scale I got from ebay and measured him then put it all on the little chart you can print off.
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Well... they are really to weigh, etc like mentioned and if you have any conerncs... but really if one has concerns isnt the smart thing to get them checked out asap..
I take my boys to all WBV.. I vaccinate my boys 100%... My youngest can not miss a WBV.. He has a ton of medical stuff going on.. I was more lax with my oldest, but he went to all of them as well for other medical issues, not as severe as his brother though.
If you have no concerns, are not vaccinating, and can weigh and measure baby at home then I say go for it... but I do recommend taking them in a few times as the pp said.
I take my boys to all WBV.. I vaccinate my boys 100%... My youngest can not miss a WBV.. He has a ton of medical stuff going on.. I was more lax with my oldest, but he went to all of them as well for other medical issues, not as severe as his brother though.
If you have no concerns, are not vaccinating, and can weigh and measure baby at home then I say go for it... but I do recommend taking them in a few times as the pp said.
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We have done WBV so far, and will probably continue to do so. My dd has a small anterior fontanel (soft spot) so I feel more comfortable having her Ped. check her out (although I have been monitoring it and her head growth on my own). We do not vaccinate, and our Ped. doesn't push the issue. We might not do WBV if we had to constantly defend our educated decisions. We also take dd to a wonderful Homeopath. If she recommends a treatment that is expensive, I like knowing I can talk to my dd's Ped. and see if it can be covered by our insurance so that we don't have to pay out of pocket for it.
Generally, I do feel that they are unncessesary if you choose not to vax, but on the other hand, they are short and only happen once every couple of months.
Generally, I do feel that they are unncessesary if you choose not to vax, but on the other hand, they are short and only happen once every couple of months.
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