Well here we go... long (sorry)

906 Views 12 Replies 9 Participants Last post by purplepaisleymama, Jun 16, 2007

purplepaisleymama

Discussion Starter · Jun 14, 2007

I had my first child at a hospital one day after his due date, induced with plenty of Pit and that cured me from ever wanting to repeat that experience. My second child was born with DEM at home after transferring in my 7th month. The birth was wonderful compared to my first but I was still disappointed with the feelings of pressure from the MWs. I had my third child at home with the same MW from my second birth and because they were only there for short time during my labor I felt that it was a better birth although I still had some off feelings. I had my fourth child at home with only DH after we called the MW ( a different MW who I had not felt particularly comfortable with during the pregnancy) and she arrived about 4f5 minutes after our son was born. The birth was INCREDIBLE, I was so happy and the birth was easy, I didn't feel any stress and DH was great, we have a video adn it is AWESOME, you can see how the flow was great and we were so connected. Our fifth child was born at home UC all the way with backup care with the same CNM who had given be backup care throughout all of my pregnancies, she would order all bloodwork and US etc. Our son was 5 weeks early adn we ended up transferring after his birth because of some breathing troubles for him and the fact that he was a face presentation and his nose had 'broken' .... he sported black eyes for weeks. I had a MC last November and ended up having a d&c, which the MW arranged for me.
I thought that we still had a good working relationship and when I called her last week to ask a few questions about my current pregnancy she seemed excited. I was concerned that I had not gotten sick yet, for all of my previous pregnancies i have suffered from hyperemesis and I was worried after the mc that I might not know if the babe had passed. I agreed to a hcg blood check and had blood drawn on Thursday, the results came back on Friday and she said that I was showing that I was about 2 weeks pregnant while I was 7-8 my my estimates from lmp, she mentioned that I was around 200 when I should be around 20,000. I worried all weekend and had more blood drawn on Monday. She called me Tuesday and tells me that my level is 5174 I freak out.... it is so high now, so I ask her what my previous level had been and she tells me it was 2392. I know that she had said 200 previously becuase I had shakily written it down adn then sobbed on my DH about it all weekend. I was shocked that she was so concerned about the levels... everything that I look up says that they are fine.
Before we get off of the phone she mentions that I am aobut 3 weeks pregnant... I tell her that can't be right, I tested positive on May 21st and that is more than 3 weeks ago... so I must be further along. she is adamant that I am only about 3 weeks because of the numbers and I am so excited that I am **** pregnant that I just accept it. She also mentions that perhaps I would like to change to a closer provider.... and I say that I am fine with her, then she mentions that she had mentioned to another MW, whom we both know that I was pregnant and that the other MW said that she wouldn't be able to take me because I was high risk now.... because of #5 being 5 weeks early. I explain that there were extenuating circumstances that led to the early birth and that they would not happen this time so I was not in danger of pre-term labor this time. She only said well I will leave it up to you and I am sure you will let me know what you decide....
Was I fired????? Or am I overreacting????
I am emotional now, I admit it but I would blame most of that on the fact that I was sure after her comments on Friday that this pregnancy was not to be, and if I had known the real numbers I would have been fine.
So do I stay with her for awile and hope that it gets better? Or do I try to find someone now.... I know that I want to UC so I just need prenatal care and I am going to have to find someone who will help me that way, I don't want to have to lie to someone, I feel that is not the way to go.

I have looked over my numbers and it seem that I could actually be as far along as I had originally thought and now I am just plain confused.
What would you very knowledgable ladies do?????
Thank you for your help and patience....
laura

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yvonnemlv

· #2 · Jun 14, 2007

It certainly seems fishy/manipulative to me. I think if I were to have prenatal care, I would find someone new. Otherwise - UP.

nak - sorry cant type more

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Jenlaana

· #3 · Jun 14, 2007

I know this may not be the most popular choice as we generally have a lot of faith in our bodies in the UC world, but I would get an ultrasound. I think they do it at 7 wks? It would give you a definite EDD based on measurements instead of on numbers. I think I would also find another provider, just because you feel so uncomfortable with her at this point.

I wouldn't suggest it under standard circumstances, but since there is the history of miscarriage so recently, combined with the inconsistent numbers you're getting, I think it would give you of peace of mind.

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kettunainen

· #4 · Jun 14, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenlaana

I have to agree, albeit grudgingly, and for the same reasons.

And definitely find another care provider (this would include choosing yourself as your care provider if you felt comfortable with UP). This MW sounds a bit off.

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rajahkat

· #5 · Jun 14, 2007

Ack. Well, the problem I see is that IF you are earlier than you think, you're not going to see a heartbeat on the US, the ultrasound is going to show that the baby "looks" like you are such and such weeks along, which if YOU think you are further it's just going to probably cause more worry, NOT reassure you, YK?

Also, I'm not really clear on why you think you were fired? The midwife said she was leaving it up to you, that sounds to me like she's leaving it up to you who you seek care from. The OTHER midwife said she shouldn't/wouldn't/couldn't take you on because of risk factors.....I think I'm a little unclear. Maybe the midwife thinks you will miscarry based on your numbers and is just waiting it out. (I Hope it doesn't upset you that I said this!

)

I think I missed in your post how far along you think you are....8 weeks? I think I would wait it out, I know it's so hard! I would probably try to wait another 4 weeks. Tune in to my body, and then go back at about 12 weeks. If you haven't miscarried in that amount of time, then it would seem to be an appropriate time to reevaluate things.

Big hugs to you. It is so difficult not knowing. Take care~

Kat

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fyrebloom

· #6 · Jun 14, 2007

She doesn't sound terribly knowlageable. Here is a link to the normal ranges for beta hCG

http://www.birth.com.au/class.asp?class=6620&page=8

Your numbers are doubling, which is ALL you have to worry about. Some kids are slow starters. Sometimes they implant wierd stop for while and then get in there better and start growing again. There is NOTHING wrong with that. Also every pregnancy is differant. I had terrible morning sickness with my first and almost none (a little at week 10) with these two. Your betas sound normal as long as they are doubling every other day. If you want to know dates you can try an ultrasound, but if you are 100% sure then don't bother. You cannot tell dates from Betas, end of story.

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purplepaisleymama

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jun 14, 2007

Thank you all for your comments and cheer, I have been more emotional than I have ever been before and this is hard. I am worried about her dropping me becuase she was inquiring with another MW about my care being transferred, we had not discussed this and I wasn't aware that she wanted me to transfer out. I think that she might have gotten alot of flack from the preterm birth and I don't want to cause her any trouble, I just need to have backup care for prenatal because when our 5th was in the NICU the only hting that saved us from being reported for medical neglect was that I had recieved proper prenatal care. I don't agree with the fact that I feel pressured to have care but I will not risk losing my kids becuase of someone who is misinformed cuasing problems for our family. I know that I would be very uncofortable with a MW at the birth and I would hate to be untruthful by lying to any MW who gave me care through the pregnancy. I guess I will just have to search for a MW or a Doc who will understand that I am going to birth out of the hospital and they cannot change my plans.
I think that there might be a CNM who is fine with homebirth near me and from what I hear thye will not ask specific questions about the homebirth provider, so if they do not ask who I will be using,I won't have to answer that I will be providing the care.
I had previously thought that there was a practising DEM in RI right now, but that seems to be incorrect information, I think that I will be better off trying to find a CNM who will be able to provide prenatal care as all of the Homebirth MW I have met are not supportive of UC.
Thank you for your honest replies, it does help me to realize that I am not crazy, I do believe that I am around 7 weeks now, I woke up this morning with the familiar feeling of nausea nad it has continued all day, I wonder if perhaps in some women it is the hcg levels raising above a certain number that triggers the nausea.
laura

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manitobamama

· #8 · Jun 14, 2007

If it was me... I'd just do my own prenatal care. If you dont' think you are in for another early babe then I'd connect with babe and go with my instincts. I am doing up since I really don't think that anyone could give me any info or tell me anything I don't know or can't find out from all these wise women on mdc. I feel this way after only 2 other births, after 5 (wow) mama you know what is going on trust yourself and your ability to grow and birth this babe!
JMO

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kettunainen

· #9 · Jun 15, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by fyrebloom

Thanks for the link, fyrebloom! I rescind my original reply.

To the OP, if you have concerns about the development of the baby, go with your gut. If you want an ultrasound, wait a few more weeks.

With regard to UP vs care provider, you gotta do whatever is going to make you feel better. If you go the care provider route, I hope you find someone willing to treat you like an intelligent human being.

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mwherbs

· #10 · Jun 15, 2007

wanted to send another reference page-- her dates via hcg would be wrong as well-- looks closer to your dates

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/dur...hcglevels.html

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purplepaisleymama

Discussion Starter · #11 · Jun 15, 2007

Thanks al for the support, I thought that I might be closer with dates, but pregnancy obsession has tinted my view a bit.
I am looking around here for a new provider... DH is very supportive of UC, he would like me to have prenatal care but he pointed out tonight that our last two were UC and he wouldn't have it any other way this time. Can I say .... I LOVE that man... every time I think about going to a hospital, I can't even imagine it, and the same for having a MW at home with us.... he says that it would ridiculous, he would have to spend all of his time arguing about stupid things and I would just get mad.... he's right!!!!!

He also pointed out that if we were to go by my MW's idea of dates I would currently be pregnant with either Quads or an alien if I were 3 weeks!!!!! LOL

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flapjack

· #12 · Jun 16, 2007

I'd have an U/S at 12 weeks (by your dates) to confirm gestational age. In your shoes, I think I'd stop having the bloodwork done: it isn't available over here, but I think there's a real temptation to worry about the numbers instead of enjoying the precious time of pregnancy- however long it lasts. Does that make sense?

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purplepaisleymama

Discussion Starter · #13 · Jun 16, 2007

Thanks for the encouragement.... we have decided to change to a DEM who is very supportive of UC. She is NOT worried abou the numbers and from my dates she is considering me 7+ weeks pregnant and we will figure a more exact date later.
I guess for me this has really made a point of how I feel about our previous providers and how they were not really supportive of my feelings surrounding pregnancy. You would think that I would have figured it out by now as I have switched providers at least once every pregnancy!!!!
I am not having any more hcg levels done because they are more trouble and worry if you aren't exactly sure when your date of conception is....imo.
I really appreciate the posts from everyone, it does help to know that other people out there care!!!!!
laura

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