I don't know the best place to put this, but this seemed the most logical.
I hit my toddler today and I want to crawl into a hole and die.
Today has just been a horrible rough day, and I took it out on DD1. She kept hitting the baby in the head and thought it was funny when I repeatedly told her to stop. Then she kicked me HARD while I was changing her diaper. All of the years of my grandmother hitting me as a reflex came out in me, in one big slap across DD's thigh.
I had to call DH to come home because I just could not handle it anymore. DD1 nursed for a while and seemed back to normal, but I feel I have scarred her forever. DH did come home from work early to help me out, and he now has the kids while I take some major cooling off time.
This has just been a sucky week -- yesterday, I found out a childhood friend passed away and her funeral is this Saturday. Last I talked to her was 2 months ago and I didn't "get" that she was terminally ill...I just thought she was sick. I vowed that I would bring the girls up to see her, but I never did. I was a miserable friend to this girl, and she *loved* me so much, like a sister.
On top of this, my MIL is recovering from thyroid surgery, but cannot come over to see the girls (and I can't bring them over either) because she had to take some radioactive medication for her scan tomorrow. I miss her being with the girls, and I have to admit I selfishly miss the break she'd give me.
Sorry to ramble on so long, I don't know exactly why I'm posting this, but I guess I just needed to get this out of my system. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
I hit my toddler today and I want to crawl into a hole and die.


I had to call DH to come home because I just could not handle it anymore. DD1 nursed for a while and seemed back to normal, but I feel I have scarred her forever. DH did come home from work early to help me out, and he now has the kids while I take some major cooling off time.
This has just been a sucky week -- yesterday, I found out a childhood friend passed away and her funeral is this Saturday. Last I talked to her was 2 months ago and I didn't "get" that she was terminally ill...I just thought she was sick. I vowed that I would bring the girls up to see her, but I never did. I was a miserable friend to this girl, and she *loved* me so much, like a sister.

Sorry to ramble on so long, I don't know exactly why I'm posting this, but I guess I just needed to get this out of my system. Thanks for reading if you got this far.