anyone take it? is it safe for BF? i read not much is known about it but some do take it while BF. i took it throughout my pregnancy and weaned off the last month of pg...i had taken it for a year and likely would have wanted to stop at that point anyhow. but i think stopping that coupled with PP issues is just too much for me! i am really struggling...
DH really wants me to start back on it, since we know it works for me. he is very supportive, but i think he is at his wit's end with my frustration and moodiness. i know some of it is normal new mom frustration, but if all new mothers felt THIS way, no one would have babies anymore
to sum it up, i feel like i want to leave every single day. i want my daughter to have a good life because i love her, but i don't think i can give it to her because i am too upset and resentful. ditto for my DH. i feel overwhelmed by BF; i resent the constant demand on my body. DD is in a huge growth spurt, which is just making things 100 times worse. DH said we could switch to formula, but i really don't want to do that. she deserves to have breastmilk (just like she deserves to have a good mother). i can't fall asleep sometimes, even though i am completely exhausted. i get anxious everytime i lie down because i'm worried i won't sleep, or she will wake up as soon as i fall asleep. last night i left her with DH after a feeding, went upstairs to the guest room, closed all the doors, and turned on the fan as loud as i could so i couldn't hear her crying. i slept soundly for 3 hours, the longest i have slept at one time in awhile.
i cry multiple times every single day, starting when my husband leaves for work (just had my first cry of the day a few minutes ago). i honestly feel like i don't want to have a child, and that it was a huge mistake, but i already have her--so what do you do? i am too ashamed to call any of my friends because i don't want them to know that i feel this way, and i don't know what else we would talk about because everyone inevitably asks how motherhood is going (and none of them are mothers). so i am completely socially isolated.
in the middle of the night last night, i asked DH if it was too late to give her up for adoption. that is how bad i feel. of course i don't want to do that, really, but it's preferrable to being a horrible mother to her. i feel like i have to give 100% to do this right, and i don't have it to give. i'd rather not be a mother at all than be a BAD mother, and right now i feel like the worst mother who ever existed...i wonder why EVERYONE else can do this, and even rave about what a miracle it is--but i can't, and it definitely doesn't feel like a miracle. more like a prison camp. i hate every minute of my life right now. everyone says it will get better, but i don't believe them.
Oh, I feel for you. So much of what you said sounds so familiar to me. Imo, going off an antidepressant at the same time you're having a baby is not a good thing to do! Either event is enuf on its own. Please consider going back on it (I know nothing abt Wellbutrim, I take Zoloft), but talk to your dr. abt it. It really can make all the difference. I can tell how much you love and cherish your baby, going back on may help your be able to enjoy this time in her life.
Was there a particular reason you went off it when you did, or why you are reluctant to take st now?
I've been taking Wellbutrin and nursing. My daughter seems to be OK. I had to ask several doctors before I finally got an answer about it, but the hospital pediatrician said it was OK. There isn't much information available about taking Wellbutrin while nursing, but I think it is b/c not many women have tried it (so the danger is more of the unknown consequence variety rather than the definitely dangerous kind). I'm not sure if my personal situation was a factor in the doctor's decision--not taking the medication is absolutely not a possibility for me, and I've had bad reactions to the alternatives.
Anyhow, you really need to get yourself some help. Call your doctor and see what options you have as far as medication goes. If you need to take something that requires you to stop nursing, remember that it is more important for you child to have a mother than it is to get breastmilk.