[2shy2post]

Hubby was just promoted, YEAH!!!!

We're moving from Texas to Chicago (area) in less than a month. AAACCKKK!!!

:

I have a bunch of questions and hope you might be able to help:

1. We've started talking about it with DS (4) and DD (2.5). DD doesn't really "get" it, no big deal. DS is saying things like, "I like our house", "I don't want to move", etc.

How can we make this easier on him?

2. Anyone live in the Chicago area? DH will be working about 5 miles from O'Hare (can't afford to live there ~ can you say $400K min for a 3/2?!?!?!). We'll be up there all next week to check things out ~ can anyone suggest areas/towns/counties that might be nice (is <$150K even possible???).

3. Anything else I should know? I've never even been inside Illinois state lines!!!!

TIA!!!!

 

[mamak05]

We're military so we move too. You might not be able to make it easier, but you can help your son through this transition. Suggestions for you:

1) Let your son express all his true feelings and empathize. Do you like your house too? Let him know you truely understand.
2) Look for some books (read before he does) about moving from your library. They might help.
3) Take him online to see some of the cool things in Chicago - museums, libaries, zoos - whatever. Talk to him about what life will be like there. Talk to him about snow!
4) Take photos of your current house and favorite places and put them in an album for him to look at. Talk about the things you all will miss. It is ok to be sad about moving and to remember the places you've lived and loved.
5) See if you can find out if he has any fears, without suggesting any. If he does, you can work to address those over time. He might be wondering where your new house will be and what his room will be like. He needs to talk and you can just listen.
6) Any reason you'll be visiting TX in the future? Could he be worried about leaving family? You can talk about how you will visit and ways you will keep in touch. You can even start letter writing now.
7) What can you do to help give your son some control over the situation? Would he like to make a list of his priorities for the new house? Is he interested in looking for new houses online? If you're driving can you have him "plan" the route? These are just ideas, but basically is there anything he can do to have a role in helping the family move?
8) When moving day comes, make sure he has had the opportunity to pack his own small suitcase with his personal things. Make sure you have his other personal things (clothes, toothbrush) in your suitcase!

You might want to post in the Tribes section for the questions you have about Chicago area. Also, you might be able to find activities/playgroups for your son and those might help ease the transition.

Congrats and good luck on your move!

 

[Maggieinnh]

Oh my, what fantastic suggestions mamak05!!!
Now if that won't help your kids move than nothing will!

I am copying that list down for later use, just to be handy, we are also moving a lot (but not due to military anymore), I guess once you are used to moving around you just keep doing it ey!

Try posting all your local questions on the tribes forum 2shy2post, as mamak05 suggested, I am sure you will find lots of info there!
Good luck with your move!

 

[mightymoo]

We moved when DD was 2.5, I packed all her toys when she wasn't around, it was very traumatic to her to see the toys going into the box. Knowing my DD now, I probably would do the same thing for her at 4, though I would have her help me pack some of them.

We had DD stay somewhere else the day all of our stuff was put on the truck, feeling htat would be too hard on her to watch, but we did take her back to the house empty to say goodbye and to see that we hadn't left anything behind. And she was there when we unloaded the truck.

 

[mamak05]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggieinnh Oh my, what fantastic suggestions mamak05!!! Now if that won't help your kids move than nothing will! I am copying that list down for later use, just to be handy, we are also moving a lot (but not due to military anymore), I guess once you are used to moving around you just keep doing it ey! Try posting all your local questions on the tribes forum 2shy2post, as mamak05 suggested, I am sure you will find lots of info there! Good luck with your move!

: Why, thank you! For us, moving is just another one of those parenting challenges that gives us the opportunity to be creative with our children. Even with all the different things we can do, it can still be hard! Hope your future moves go well too Maggieinnh!

 

[2shy2post]

MamaK05 ~ ever thought of writing a book???

I'm writing everything down.

: You all have wonderful suggestions.

I'm excited b/c we are going to be there next week ~ so I think it will give him a "little" transition.

Thanks all!!!

 

[chann96]

We are in a very similar situation. We will be moving from WV to the St. Louis area at the end of summer with our 4 year old daughter. Fortunately we are from the midwest and have family fairly close (one reason we're moving back).

Mamak05 thanks for the great suggestions.

Anyway my daughter alternates between seeming perfectly fine about the move and being upset about it. When she's tired at night the upset part comes out more. I try to just let her express her feelings and answer her questions. She's asked me if her toys will be at the new house for example. She has told me too once that's she doesn't want to talk about it anymore and I honored her need to leave it alone at that point. I have had to pack some of her stuff already in preparation for putting the house on the market and made sure to pack it while she was asleep or out of the house so she doesn't see her stuff disappearing right now. I packed toys she doesn't play with as much and some of her books. She hasn't noticed them missing as of yet. I'm trying to make sure too much doesn't disappear too quickly.

We've been talking to her about what she would like in a new house too (LOL of course her biggest suggestion is 10 puppies to play with in a big empty basement). She'll go with us to look at houses too. Obviously our grown-up needs will be the primary deciding factors on a house, but hopefully by getting to be part of the process it will help her.

LOL Now she keeps trying to help me pack and my recommendation is to double check any box you pack before you tape it up. I managed to keep all of her toys of out a box I was packing, taped up the box, and realized she had put my black marker in the box.

When we move we're planning to have my mom come out and drive back the one car with me and to help keep her entertained. I may have mom take her out of the house while the movers are here. I'm going to have to play that by ear a little bit. We'll keep her favorite toys in the car with us so she can see they are with her.

I will say that since we started talking to her about moving she has definitely needed to be near me more. I am also pregnant and we told her that about a week before we finally decided to move so she's got two massive changes going on in her life right now and she's a fairly high-needs kids anyway. I am just trying to be with her and honor that need as much as I can. She obviously needs that security right now and I hope that by offering it to her she'll start to feel a little more secure about it.

Good luck with your move. We used to live in the Chicago area. You are going to need to buy good winter clothes. LOL I highly recommend a long black 100% wool coat. Very warm. The moms in the Chicago/IL tribe can help you more directly, but my first thought for looking at houses to commute to O'hare would be Naperville, maybe Westmont although I'm not sure how far that would be. My sister used to live in Westmont and it was a nice little town. There is so much to do with kids in Chicago with the museums and the zoos (Lincoln Park Zoo is free although parking can be an issue). Living in the suburbs you can take the trains to many things and not even have to drive.

 

[mamak05]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2shy2post MamaK05 ~ ever thought of writing a book??? I'm writing everything down. : You all have wonderful suggestions. I'm excited b/c we are going to be there next week ~ so I think it will give him a "little" transition. Thanks all!!!

Let us know how it goes! I'm sure everything will be wonderful.

 

[MorganRiley]

for housing: realtor.com remax.com mls.com

for school/neighborhood demographics: www.schoolmatters.com www.greatschools.net

 

[gaialice]

We'll soon be moving too, although just across town. The girls seemed initially very excited and enthusiastic and they know the new house well because we're renovating it, so we're there very often with them. However, as the moving date gets closer, they're very anxious and sorry to leave their school (they will go to a different school next year, closer to the new place). I printed out your good advice and wanted to add this.
I am planning a "goodby ceremony" when we will light a candle and sing a song and say thanks to the apartment for all the good times. They're preparing welcome drawings for the kids who will come here after we're gone (although, of course, I will remove them before I give the keys back... for some reason, it makes them feel better to leave those drawing for these kids they never met... ) and goodbye drawings and pics for us to keep.
But they will be at their grandparents' for a few days when the time really comes, so the ceremony will take place in a furnished house. Knowing dd2, she would become frantic if her possessions are put in a box and woudl be totally overcome by grief if she saw the box go into a truck.
Good luck everyone, it is a stressful time!!!!

 

[mamak05]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaialice I am planning a "goodby ceremony" when we will light a candle and sing a song and say thanks to the apartment for all the good times. They're preparing welcome drawings for the kids who will come here after we're gone (although, of course, I will remove them before I give the keys back... for some reason, it makes them feel better to leave those drawing for these kids they never met... ) and goodbye drawings and pics for us to keep. But they will be at their grandparents' for a few days when the time really comes, so the ceremony will take place in a furnished house. Knowing dd2, she would become frantic if her possessions are put in a box and woudl be totally overcome by grief if she saw the box go into a truck. Good luck everyone, it is a stressful time!!!!

What a great idea - thanks for sharing it! I'm going to add it to my bag of moving tricks!

 

[Kansai Mama]

Thanks for the tips Mamak05. We are moving from Japan to Indiana!

 

[mamak05]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kansai Mama Thanks for the tips Mamak05. We are moving from Japan to Indiana!

That's quite a move - good luck!