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I have wanted to HS for many reasons. I have a 4 yo dd and 2 yo twin ds. I was feeling so overwhelmed by everyday life that I have been thinking about PS for dd next year. I have awonderful HS group of friends and would hate to miss out on the support. I also have issues with dd when it comes to learning. She is very intense and gets *very* frustrated when just trying something.<br>
SHe is very goo with concepts but when it comes to a craft or maybe trying to write letters or something she screams," I can't do it" or something similar. When we are with our HS group and another mom helps her she does not act that way. Is it me? I try to be as patient as I can but it gets to me inside.<br>
Anyway, it is giving me second thoughts about me being able to do this.<br><br>
Did anyone have problems believing they could do this? Am I alone in this? Maybe I am scared just thinking of this awesome responsibilty for my childs education.<br><br>
Any thoughts?
 

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I went to a school that was well-known for churning out teachers. The more time I spent with them, the more I knew I was capable of teaching my own kids.<br><br>
Yeah, I'm overwhelmed sometimes. I'm nine months pregnant right now, and I've got a five year old first/second grader, a three and a half year old who throws tantrums because I don't do enough school with her, and a 20 month old who thinks that erasers are some kind of delicacy. Life is entirely insane around here, especially these days. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"> Even so, it can be done. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod">
 

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I was confident when we started homeschooling BUT that is because I spent 3 years as part of a homeschool support group before we began. I worked with my kids afterschool and in the summers, I figured out their learning style andmy teaching style, I figured out how I wanted to school them and what curric to use all before I brought them home for good. My experience is so much different than those who pull their kids out and then sit there wondering "what now?" We still took the time to deschool, 14 months worth of time to be exact.<br><br>
That does not however deminish the the feeling of being overwhelmed that sometimes pops up. Having 2 kids that are sort of at the same grade level in somethings but not at all in others, so teaching 1/2 the program together then separate lessons to each. A 4 year old that wants to do his schoolwork and is mad it's not as much as they have, and a almost 4 month baby that still nurses constantly, and is jsut starting to hit that phase of being awake but not happy because she doesn't know what to do with herself, fortunately that tends to pass quickly. Plus my 2 older kids are um, extremely spirited to put it nicely. WHich leaves me at about once a week swearing I am sending them to boarding school in switzerland. The thing that keeps me from tossing in the towel though is the solid belief this is best for them, and I CAN do it. I have seen such successes in them I can't help but keep going.
 

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We just started HSing this year and everyday I wonder if I should just put my 11 year old back in school. It is soo hard to get him to do ANYTHING academic. I was just going to post a question about this. I heard it gets easier, though.
 

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I was confident in my intellectual capacity to teach the kids. What I was less confident about (and remain so) was maintaining the kind of peaceful, orderly home environment I really would like for them.<br><br>
We're always here, or not, <i>together</i> so I rarely get concentrated time alone to effect the repairs I'd like. I get frustrated easily and behave like a child sometimes.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Maybe I am scared just thinking of this awesome responsibilty for my childs education.<br><br>
Any thoughts?</td>
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My feeling is that we accepted this responsibility we had kids. Really, even if my kids were in school, their well being is still my responsibility, right? While some would say that at least I'd be sharing that responsibility with the teacher, that isn't much comfort--what would that mean? If something goes wrong, I'd have someone else to blame? That's not good enough for me.<br><br>
I had a lot of worries when we started out, but I was confident that I'd keep trying until we got it right.<br><br>
As far as your dd acting differently with another mom than with you--you've heard the theory that kids "behave" better for others who they know don't love them unconditionally and then show their true feelings in the comfort of their parents, right?<br><br>
Could that be it?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: completely what sagmom said. When I feel overwhelmed or my ds1 resists against what we might be doing, I need to rethink MY approach the the matter. The more time I spend doing this journey the more relaxed I am in thinking. I've found it beneficial also to let some things go. If he doesn't want to learn to read at 6 because all other 6 year olds in public school do - its not the end of our world!<br><br>
Oh and me understanding HOW my sons learn was the biggest help to me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<span>Oh boy, was I ever ready! I was so excited about all we were going to do - full of ideas I'd been formulating over the years, from teachers' ed courses, through teaching and observation in schools, and reading everything I could get my hands on... But what I soon discovered was that it wasn't about me at all - it was about my son's abilities to think and wonder and learn, rather than about my abilities to teach. So I learned to stay out of the way and feed him resources and inspiration and support.<br><br>
And one of the things I learned the hard way was to back off when he wasn't developmentally ready for something. I think that's probably a lot of what's going on with your little one - 4 1/2 is awfully young, and not every child that age is developmentally ready for writing letters or doing anything but the very simplest of crafts. My son would have been beside himself with frustration if he'd ever been asked to write a letter at that age, or even if he'd decided on his own to tackle it. As long as your daughter is good with concepts, you can very happily and successfully just stick to concepts and lots of other kinds of fun activities that will set her up be ready for writing and crafts later.<br><br>
There are lots of articles in this collection of links - <a href="http://besthomeschooling.org/gateway/inted16.html" target="_blank">preschool and kindergarten</a> - about children that age. They might help sort some of this out. Beneath the box of articles are annotated links to some websites that have lots of good suggestions for learning activities.<br><br>
To be frank, what I've often seen is that people who are most afraid of how they'll do often get off to a better start than those who are full of confidence - because those who are full of confidence are often distracted from what's really going on with their children by their own ideas plans, whereas those who are more nervous tend to be more open to learning as sort of bumble along. Bumbling along is not a bad thing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Here are a few good books that can help:<br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fo%2FASIN%2F0761520287%2Fref%3Dnosim%2F" target="_blank">Homeschooling: The Early Years</a>: Your Complete Guide to Successfully Homeschooling the 3- to 8- Year-Old Child, by Linda Dobson<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fo%2FASIN%2F0968293824%2Fref%3Dnosim%2F" target="_blank">Learning At Home</a>, A Mother's Guide to Homeschooling, by Marty Layne<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fo%2FASIN%2F0761527885%2Fref%3Dnosim" target="_blank">The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child</a>: Your Complete Guide to Getting Off to the Right Start, by Linda Dobson<br>
Here's an excerpt from this one:<br><a href="http://besthomeschooling.org/articles/linda_dobson_gems.html" target="_blank">Top 10 Gems</a> - "What I wish someone would have told me during my first year of homeschooling."<br><br>
Have fun! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Lillian<br><br></span>
 

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LillianJ posted some wonderful links!! Whenever I feel doubt about any decision I've made, I read, read, read, and talk to others. It helps a ton! Also, I think that the transition from school to home can be very difficult, and that a parent needs to be gentle and flexible both with her/himself, and with the child. Often, it's very helpful to take a break from formal academics for a bit, and concentrate on rediscovering the joy of learning, as well as learning how best to work together as a team.<br><br>
I also agree w/Sagmom -- once you have a child, the responsibility for that child's education and overall well-being is in your hands, no matter how you choose to make that happen. Choosing to educate him/her with someone else's help doesn't abdicate the responsibility of the parent, or even lessen it. Your choices DO, however, affect how much control you have over the process.<br><br>
I had an easier time with the transition I think because my younger brother homeschooled from 9th-12th grade. As soon as the concept showed up on my radar, I knew that it was right for me and hoped that it would be right for my future children. I continued to research it throughout college and up till the time that my oldest was preschool age (and to a certain degree, even now). I knew that I wouldn't be sending him to preschool. I can't say that I've never had any doubts, or that our days aren't sometimes very challenging, but I know from the experiences of my friends who have children in private and public schools, and from my friends who teach, that challenging days and doubts are just part of educating children, no matter how you choose to do it.<br><br>
GL!
 

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I was absolulely NOT confident in my homeschooling abilities at first. Then I spent almost 4 weeks in my son's classroom as his aide (the IEP wasn't in place yet) and realized the only way I could do worse is if I actively sabatoged his learning. This might be because of the school system, or his learning differences and not schools in general, but it was just not a good environment for him.
 

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I had serious trouble believing that I could do this. In fact, I came here after I first made the decision to hs looking for someone to tell me that I could. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
It is much easier and more rewarding than I ever though it would be.
 

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i say yes i looked at it this way..<br>
if i want to or need to know something i look it up, search for it, ask someone i figure it out some how. well i look at hsing the same way if i dont know it we figure it out, we will learn it together or we might know someone who knows it. in the end we learn it that is the important part <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Yup, I think these kinds of doubts are normal. I vascilate between being certain I'm doing the right thing, all excited about HSing, and then another day I'm down in the dumps convinced I'm ruining my child and should figure out which school to send her to, then get more depressed when I realize that none of the local schools would be a good fit for her, then get excited about HSing again...etc etc.
 

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I used to feel the way you do when I first started homeschooling my oldest child. I felt like I wouldn't be able to provide them with what an experienced, educated teacher could provide them with. I constantly questioned myself back then. I put my child in school and now am planning to take my child out again to homeschool for the remainder of the time he is in school. I know I am capable of doing it because I've done it already. The best thing to do is to just get in there and start doing it and see for yourself. You may be surprised! Try not to be too hard on yourself though. You are the best teacher for your child.
 

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I just want to say thanks for posting this thread.<br><br>
I recently kind of "woke up" and realized that dd is turning 5 this year, and would be starting kindergarten in September, if we weren't planning to homeschool. While I've been planning to homeschool since she was about two, I haven't really explored it yet, and I have no confidence in my ability at all! For me, it's not about the teaching part of it. I've been teaching her since she was born - making it a little more formal, if I do, isn't a huge problem for me. DD is incredibly eager to learn to read, write, add, etc. and watching her learn from those around her is a treat.<br><br>
However, I'm still nervous. I don't think kids need school in order to be "socialized". In fact, with my own experiences as a guide, I've decided that the social side is the part I most want to keep her away from! That does mean I need to find social opportunities for her, though. I don't want her growing up to be a hermit. That's the part that scares me. I've been intending to attend some of our local homelearner's meetups and such for almost a year - and I've chickened out every time. My biggest concern is that my own social phobias will have a detrimental effect on dd's (and ds2's) learning experience...<br><br>
Today's my first day on this particular forum - I was just going to lurk, until I saw this thread...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>redwolf2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10260160"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Did anyone have problems believing they could do this? Am I alone in this? Maybe I am scared just thinking of this awesome responsibilty for my childs education.<br><br>
Any thoughts?</div>
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i've not even read any posts responding to your question yet ...because i needed to quickly type NO YOU ARE NOT ALONE! of course you aren't!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> i felt so terrified in the beginning....and if i ponder to far into the furture ....it still completely overwhelms me.<br><br>
i can honestly say most of the "fear" we have with homeschooling is just that....fear of the BIG "what if". what if i fail? what if my child hates it? what if they aren't socialized? what if they fall behind? yada yada yada.<br><br><span>F</span> alse<br><span>E</span> vidence<br><span>A</span> ppearing<br><span>R</span> eal<br><br>
i truly believe if you feel led to homeschool, you will absolutely be equipped to meet your child's needs in every way. big hugs to you mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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I think most parents question their ability to hs at some point. It's only natural. Being a parent is an awesome responsibility. Hs your child is an even bigger responsibility. The important thing to remember is that questioning your ability can actually be seen as a good thing....you are just wanting to make sure your child receives the best education. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ruthla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10282042"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yup, I think these kinds of doubts are normal. I vascilate between being certain I'm doing the right thing, all excited about HSing, and then another day I'm down in the dumps convinced I'm ruining my child and should figure out which school to send her to, then get more depressed when I realize that none of the local schools would be a good fit for her, then get excited about HSing again...etc etc.</div>
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Totally what I go through on a daily basis, and I am not actually HS yet. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
I new what school I was enrolling her in and everything until I started getting together with my HS group again. WHich is one reason I feel good about it, the wonderful support group I have.<br><br>
Thanks for all the input, I will read this whenever I feel the fear coming on. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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RUTHLA, I just noticed you are from LI, I grew up there and have lots of friends and family there still. We go there two times a year. Where are you located?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Storm Bride</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10282427"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I just want to say thanks for posting this thread.<br><br>
I recently kind of "woke up" and realized that dd is turning 5 this year, and would be starting kindergarten in September, if we weren't planning to homeschool. While I've been planning to homeschool since she was about two, I haven't really explored it yet, and I have no confidence in my ability at all! For me, it's not about the teaching part of it. I've been teaching her since she was born - making it a little more formal, if I do, isn't a huge problem for me. DD is incredibly eager to learn to read, write, add, etc. and watching her learn from those around her is a treat.<br><br>
However, I'm still nervous. I don't think kids need school in order to be "socialized". In fact, with my own experiences as a guide, I've decided that the social side is the part I most want to keep her away from! That does mean I need to find social opportunities for her, though. I don't want her growing up to be a hermit. That's the part that scares me. I've been intending to attend some of our local homelearner's meetups and such for almost a year - and I've chickened out every time. My biggest concern is that my own social phobias will have a detrimental effect on dd's (and ds2's) learning experience...<br><br>
Today's my first day on this particular forum - I was just going to lurk, until I saw this thread...</div>
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Despite the fact that I'm involved in a ton of social activities at any given point in time, I'm really not "good" at the social thing <i>at all</i>. I'm fine with the things that motivate me, because my desire to learn and participate in these things overcomes my huge anxiety involving new things and people. I try to always remember that Al Pacino, at the height of his career, still puked every night before going out on stage (Broadway). I also have a mantra -- I touched a horse's a$$ -- to help remind me to always push through and do the things that scare me or make me uncomfortable (a long time ago, I was afraid to walk behind a horse while grooming it).<br><br>
Maybe if at first you choose the events/classes which focus very heavily on the children, and for which you can hang out unobtrusively, you can get your foot in the door, so to speak. Play dates with new people can be daunting because the children go off to play together and the moms are left to talk amongst themselves -- a blessing if you know the other moms, or if you're naturally comfortable making new friends, but a potential nightmare, anxiety wise, if not.<br><br>
I actually find that a great many people are less comfortable with the unknown than they'd have you believe.<br><br>
ETA: I also find that my children's enthusiasm to do things overcomes my own reticence. My children are the sort, though, with whom you *have* to do what you say you're going to do. If I say we're going to the park on Wednesday, or I'm signing you up for cooking club, or whatever, I had better darn well follow through!
 
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