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I don't personally know this toddler, but my parents friends granddaughter is 3 1/2 years old. My parents are always referring to her as a brat. Then my dad goes on to tell the same story over and over and over again to me. He says, "That girl is such a brat. She throws a fit when her grandma is putting her (the grandma's) shoes on when they are going out. She tells her grandma that the grandma *has* to wear a particular pair of shoes. What a brat!" What the heck is the big deal? Does anyone see this as a big deal, that a toddler *demands* that an adult wear a certain pair of shoes? Who really cares? I want to say something to my parents when they tell me this story next time that will gently shut them up about it because I hate hearing them talk about another child and calling her a brat. My parents have this "No child is going to control me" attitude without the ability to put themselves in a toddlers shoes (haha), even if it is no big deal. I mean, my parents don't call her a brat infront of her, but every time I see them I have to hear about this child during some point of our visit, and it makes my blood boil.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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You know when older people get stuck on the same story and tell it with enthusiasum time after time? They probably think you are actually interested. And hell yeah it's annoying. Doesn't sound like a Brat to me. Sounds like someone who would like to be involved with a bit of the decision making....don't we all?
 

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When I hear those kinds of criticisms, I always wonder if they're being shared for a reason - like, do they think my kid's a brat too, or will be one if s/he behaves the same way? Or maybe it's a one-upmanship thing, my grandkid's better than theirs.<br><br>
I don't think I'd care for it if my kid threw a similar fit, it would seem inappropriate to me - but I'm not sure it's a pivotal issue, and 3-yr-olds are strange creatures.
 

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I would absolutely not let another adult tell me what shoes to wear..... nor would I let a toddler do so.<br><br>
alsoSarah
 

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Having only one example (and a weak one at that) is hardly convincing...When my 'rents repeat a story I'll tell them they already told me, though.
 

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Wow, my youngest does this all the time to me and her daddy as well as to her grandparents. They love it and think it's cute. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> BUT it's nothing like you are saying. I don't think your dad is saying it the way you think he is. My daughter can be very bossy and demanding but not to the point of tantrumming over it. If she tells me to wear something she wants me to wear I will simply say no or that I need to wear something else. She says ok and goes on with it. she does the same way with things she wants me to do around the house.<br><br>
I see nothing wrong with a child like this. My other child is very shy and never really speaks up much so it's refreshing to have a child that's different.
 

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Sounds like the little girl is still experimenting with the boundaries of what she can control (can I be in charge of my own shoes? Mommy's shoes? what about Grandma's? what if I make a big noisy fuss?) Pretty normal toddler stuff <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
I'd probably just say "yeah you told me already" with no emotion about it.
 

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How about saying, "Oh, did I tell you about this friend of mine? Her father tells her the same story over and over again! He's told her this story about someone's granddaughter wanting to pick people's shoes about 40 times. How annoying!"<br><br>
Then, 5 minutes later, tell it again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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All my friends had kids before me, so I got a chance to see this sort of thing a lot. And IME, it's usually caused by the caregivers in the first place! Some misguided and un-thought-out moment of teaching the child "these are the shoes grandma wears when she goes out!" that the child absorbs like a sponge and now Grandma MUST wears THOSE shoes and those shoes ONLY forever more when she goes out.<br><br>
If your dad wants to blame anyone, he needs to find out who taught the girl about grandma wearing those shoes in the first place.<br><br>
Beyond that, it just sounds like a toddler trying to create order in her world...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TortelliniMama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Then, 5 minutes later, tell it again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TortelliniMama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How about saying, "Oh, did I tell you about this friend of mine? Her father tells her the same story over and over again! He's told her this story about someone's granddaughter wanting to pick people's shoes about 40 times. How annoying!"<br><br>
Then, 5 minutes later, tell it again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I actually do stuff like this all the time... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I would ask your dad what he means by a brat, or just come out and say, "why are you telling me this story again?"
 

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I personally can't stand to hear parents or grandparents say that so and so's kid is a brat. They wouldn't say that in front of so and so, and certainly not in front of their child, so why say it to me? I mean, what are they saying about MY kid to other people?!<br><br>
I'd personally call them out on it the next time they tell the story with "Is there a reason you're telling me this story again?".
 
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