That sounds like a real tough time! My ds was a bit like that but w/o a baby thrown into the picture. I was able to give him naps when he would fight them by having a well timed stroller walk or car ride. I doubt that would be feasible for you with the baby, however. Now, he usually takes a nap with me w/o objections. If he doesn't want one, I don't push it since you can't make a kid sleep anyway.
Your dd seems like she is trying to assert her independence which is tricky since she needs sleep and food. My ds was/is the same way about food, asks for something but then refuses to eat it (and wants to nurse instead). I have had to learn to not even seem like I have any interest in him eating. Sometimes, I just set food near him and go away.
At age 3, I was still nursing him quite a bit. Now, he nurses to sleep and wake up (since he naps, that is 4 sessions including both sides). I totally understand your reluctance to nurse her, but keep in mind that it may increase sibling rivalry (the feeling that the baby took over something that was hers) to cut her off completely. You will make enough milk if you nurse her regularly because breastfeeding is a supply and demand system.
My only real advice is to try really hard to not engage in power struggles. You can't make her sleep or eat. All you can do is provide the opportunity. It is a really hard age. Take a lot of deep breaths, pretend you are calm and patient, have your dh take her on special outings when possible to give you a break. Keep in mind that she is hardly more than a baby even though she looks humongous next to your new one. Good luck
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Your dd seems like she is trying to assert her independence which is tricky since she needs sleep and food. My ds was/is the same way about food, asks for something but then refuses to eat it (and wants to nurse instead). I have had to learn to not even seem like I have any interest in him eating. Sometimes, I just set food near him and go away.
At age 3, I was still nursing him quite a bit. Now, he nurses to sleep and wake up (since he naps, that is 4 sessions including both sides). I totally understand your reluctance to nurse her, but keep in mind that it may increase sibling rivalry (the feeling that the baby took over something that was hers) to cut her off completely. You will make enough milk if you nurse her regularly because breastfeeding is a supply and demand system.
My only real advice is to try really hard to not engage in power struggles. You can't make her sleep or eat. All you can do is provide the opportunity. It is a really hard age. Take a lot of deep breaths, pretend you are calm and patient, have your dh take her on special outings when possible to give you a break. Keep in mind that she is hardly more than a baby even though she looks humongous next to your new one. Good luck
